Like a kite stuck in a tree, I too am stuck in a tree

Everything is so stupid

How bad does shit have to get before I stop posting jokes and just ghost? It's getting close.

The apocalypse never arrives, but it's always just around the corner.

Let’s start a tech Hall of Fame, for gifts whose value is appreciated more over time, and start with the World Wide Web as one of the first inductees.

I’m like if ‘fuck it send’ was a person.

Remember when big blockbuster kinda movies had twists and surprises and shit? Like the sixth sense? Now all this shit follows a formula that’s…easy to sus out in 10 minutes of what’s gonna happen so people lose interest and Hollywood is still “why can’t we make money”

what an odd, random happenstance that the mustache and nazis are both having a renaissance at the same time in the year of 2025

Ugh I really don't wanna get out of medbed today

If Antifa were a real group, you’d be able to buy merch.

I just saw an ICE recruitment ad on TV and I am now bleeding out of my eyes and ears

4 year old daughter status update: she's currently trying to negotiate with the concept of time

"I want to know how to support people in their work." Folks. I dunno, maybe it needs saying. Buy their books or comics or records. If they're on the outside, get people talking about them. Talk about them yourself. Share the links. Subscribe to the outlets and say why.

My alt account is a brown plastic fliptop recipe box with your mom's illegible handwritten recipes that you'll never make but feel too guilty to throw away.

maybe this is a bit too much to ask, but there should be a little cool prize at the end when ya finish off a 1-lb Morton's Salt container.

they’re talking about impromptu slug photoshoots on the anisota community feed

i said brr it’s cold in here there must be some posters in the at://mosphere

sure we’ve got a lot of political problems but has anyone tried rocking the vote

I really badly want to like Mastodon, but I can't seem to make myself post on there much at all. Here, meanwhile, I seem to struggle to stop posting.

Taking you all out to laser tag

🎧 Kinda miss the days when headphones didn't have enough on-board memory for a soliloquy about their low battery... 🪫

glad none of our enemies know that our top ranking military people are meeting or where 😅

*me juggling seven chef's knives* ow owow ow ow shit ow fuck owww

any number bigger than two is woke

except for all my posts I'm a pretty likable guy

Tom Nichols, Jon Stewart, etc in 2024: "it's too early to call them fascists" Trump regime in 2025: "it is now illegal terrorism to call us fascists" Funny how the time window on that worked

that's life though bro sometimes you're anakin and sometimes your ben quadinaros, you know? ben quadinaros? the guy with the fucked up pod racer? he blows up? whatever bro, I'm beginning to doubt our compatibility not just as lovers but as friends

Portland is a war zone full of bike paths, coffee shops, and dispensaries.

"Storm in a teacup" is a bit of an outdated phrase. But I get it. "Storm in a novelty Super Mario question block mug that's incredibly awkward to drink out of" doesn't roll off the tongue as nice.

A video game maker has recreated the inside of the Nutty Putty Cave, the Utah County cave that was permanently closed in 2009 after John Jones died inside it.

would be interested to know how many folk are actually choosing "reject and pay" to read an article on e.g. the Mirror vs those who realise they don't actually care enough about the story and just close the tab

Wow, the environment in this game is beautifully made messenger.abeto.co

the 3 genders chrysalis early-mid (green) chrysalis late (black) chrysalis after (transparent) my monarchs are eclosing!!!

ummm.. holy shit? tool use in bovids confirmed? holy holy shit?

reverse intervention where you sit your whole family down and tell each person why they’re actually the problem

bro do you even know why the caged bird sings bro

i should be able to gamble with kohls cash

It’s not that I want to be fat. It’s that I love carbs more than I love being hungry and skinny.

Report: Friend Has Been Going By Middle Name This Whole Fucking Time

I think i'll fix myself a nice cup of water

I think next week we could probs see unclassified Area 51 files as another distraction/coverup attempt

i tried so hard & got so far bro

Im cool with sending all the billionaires to space.

"We saw your comment about having a plain potato for dinner. Here's an ad for a luxury European vacation." ~ algorithms.

My card got flagged as potential fraud because I ordered a salad. Fat shamed by visa

all this money in the world and you can’t even send me $10,000

strongly considering disappearing into the wilderness, never to be seen again

There’s a lot of reasons conservative media is hateful garbage but one really important one is that it’s pathetically easy to jerk them around because they don’t care about doing the basic work of journalism