Disappointed in you, 2025 YH3. www.newsweek.com/nasa-trackin...

i wish a motherfucker would (have a lovely day)

I keep making hot chocolate so I have a reason to eat whipped cream

Who up spiraling

We have been gaming a lot too hehe 🎄

my ability to emotionally regulate leads me to believe I am an alien

I’d like to shove a hot dog up 2025’s nose.

Gwenhwyfar, Gwenhwyfar, at bwi alla I droi?

bari weiss sounds like a beer you order a friend as a prank

Relationships are a great if you like having holidays ruined for you

i have blocked you and unblocked you numerous times please respond

nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel

Me (tying back air dried humid hair, kicking tumbleweed aside and flipping empty desk for good measure): Ok I'm here, what's next? Monday:

Christmas carolers that only do Bloodhound Gang songs

Christmas is that magical time when your self-control takes a vacation and your waistband gets promoted.

hello 911 someone saved my bluesky post

Obama really scrambled their brains forever

*seductively blaming my failed sexual maneuver on AI*

DID OUR PINKY SWEAR MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!?

Retail workers the week before Christmas...

Anyone ever say they're "over it", but continue to talk about it? Or is that just a local phenomenon?

ME: I got you a new car. It’s a Subaru SHANIA TWAIN: That don’t Impreza me much

I poop more times before 8 AM than most people do all day 💪

Coffee maker malfunctions, steps in cat puke, signs DNR.

every time something bad happens to the paul brothers an angel gets its wings

Time to cause a ruckus.

Maybe not my best but my current

Keep scrolling, Strugg

Wanna get high and swap 80s and 90s pop?

I can't stop laughing my Mom keeps dropping F bombs.

just snapped out of a year long fugue state, hope i didn’t post anything on the internet

kick drum to revive this heart

The Los(S) are flirting in one of my posts

The Gregs are flirting in one of my posts

winter blues but the blues have the best tunes

walks through a car wash just to feel something

I have a feeling, you’re not on my side There’s a distance, between you and I..

Jelly lipgloss but from a donut.

One of the worst things you can do in life is burn a grilled cheese

About to head to the Solstice party. I asked if I was the sacrifice. She said, “the old gods aren’t ready for you yet.”

"The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!" -- Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: First Contact

Name your fav film quote.

Name your most relatable villain

A dick move sounds like it should be a good thing but it's not.

Grinch’s Choice

A Room with a Grinch

PuddyTats™️ are pudding cups that come with wet n press tattoos

As God as my witness, I thought Hershey's Kisses could fly.

Ya know, I kinda want a Fanta.