sprinkling replies here there and everywhere like some sort of demented fairy ✨

Reply fairy >>> reply guy

the little things always matter the most

burping. can’t stop, won’t stop apparently

please don't say my name three times into the mirror. I struggle enough responding to texts.

I try to get the most out of my impairments.

That's it, I quit, I withdraw from reality and now I will only be doing whimsy type shit

You put the super into superficial.

👉👌

When dealing with the shape of things to come, it pays to be good at recognizing shapes.

Hecate #art #digitalart #イラスト #illustration #anime #witchcraft #drawing #commission #workinprogress

is it still stalking if you’re just reciprocating

[mummy pick up line] let’s make this sarcophagme a sarcophagus

I don’t know who needs to hear this but….penis

💟

There should have been a Teddy Ruxpin that told stories about drinking and being in the war.

[first date] So, tell me… Is there a crazy cat gentleman…?

Look, not everyone is going to think you're lovely and magical and amazing. They're wrong though. Arseholes.

At this age, missing trash day feels like a personal failure you'll think about all week

Pepto dismal

not little or a teapot but a secret third thing you can tip over

reluctantly aware

Every shadow Every lie Dispursed by one ray And good for that But how sad To learn the truth The bitter drink Poured from liar's pitchers Cyanide and life At the same time... ...Time will adjust But it's cold And the mind wanders No taming it It's as wild As woodland creatures And they hunt to kill

only enemies of joy would dare to block me

Your honor, we're having a hell of a meet cute right now

i have it on good authority that you are the best ever

distressed jeans worried shorts anxious tank top panicked girdle

If I haven’t made things awkward yet, give it time

Please, my bing bong, it’s squanched

I was comfortably reclined for a while, so now my neck feels broken

i only bought this bread knife for health reasons i need to cut carbs

I learn quickly from my mistakes. It's the repeating of them that gives the illusion I don't.

oh, here we go (binges music)

i'm a wellness influencer (influencing who should and should not be abandoned in a well)

Nobody has parlors anymore, so where do they do tricks?

your pinned post is the amuse bouche of your account

There's a right and left vagina and also a secret vagina. That is why a big box of tampons has ones labeled R,L, and S.

I think the best thing we can do for each other right now is to give each other a reach around

Call me borscht because I am totally beet

Fantasy: all night long Reality: rare and unsatisfactory This post is about sleep.

Pizza is good I like pizza I’m glad pizza gets to exist

The burden of growth is knowing exactly when I’m the problem, which is never

Don’t underestimate my ability to hyperfocus intensely on the wrong things

If Himalayan salt is generally estimated to be between 250 and 600 million years old, then why does my shaker have an expiration date?

Thanks to advanced age and endless incredulity, my response to everything I hear these days always begins with "I'm sorry, what?"

Behaving is super boring.

*seductively crosses your blood-brain barrier*

Writing love letters to the universe while simultaneously filing grievances against it.