Monday Mood Between the blade and the grindstone

Bugs keep eating me but they don’t know that I had vindaloo for dinner so enjoy your heartburn, bugs.

In the middle of a silent land you depend on plants to make you talk like you are in the world of the octopus. Bring me to the beak oh roots, I only dig the narrated life

Been saving a recipe for wild rose petal jam. Maybe I’ll get to it next year! )she said, for the third summer in a row)

Husband picked a dead butterfly off the truck grill and set it next to the bird food. A chickadee could hardly believe its luck and snatched it up. Was not prepared for how gleefully it shredded the butterfly. At least it was already dead!

#7syllablesentence Drivel saved on the hard #drive.

#7syllablesentence Paper #trail or paper chase?

Oh, good. Another horror movie is coming out. I was worried. It's been like, seven minutes.

[ groaning exhale ]

Just took off my nightgown to find a piece of cheese the shape of pac man stuck to my right breast. Hi. I'm Pam.

Do I really want a relationship or do I just want someone to make sure I am wearing pants before the coroner shows up?

At the gas station he picks dessert and I pick tums

it’s really very unfair that even if i walked five hundred miles and if i walked five hundred more i would be over my head in atlantic water and nowhere near your door

Shhh, the voices in my head are trying to tell me something.

Me [trying to play a cello sitting cross legged under a sheet]: babe try not to squirm or the whole fort could collapse onto the candelabra

I like to yell MACBETH in the late innings of a no-hitter just to mix things up

It's not okay to cry when your tears have been replaced with thick vanilla custard. In fact, it is wildly inconvenient when this happens.

A lack of motivation and traction.

(scoffing) water is a terrible material for building a shed

Monday lookin' at me like the barrel of a pistol. Still gots like an hour or two tho...

Back and forth and back and forth. That was my night. The pool was terrified of our gumption for the wall. Barely even stopping to breath, we swam until our wheels popped

The aches and pains native to these human remains.

Look, I can't manipulate markets or people, and I can barely handle a Rubik's cube

It's 2AM, it's 25 degrees. It's the combination - my brain is cooked what am I even talking about

The “h” in h. pylori does not stand for helpful.

After days of cautious tracking I leap from behind a rock & throw an enormous net over the succulent

Catiana icon!! artfight.net/~caspxerr #artfight #artfight2026 #teamtragedy #art #ocsky

Does that chip on your shoulder come with guac?

Dog days, Sirius Lee.

me: tell me about your problems therapist: that’s…that’s my line me: reverse psychology

there was a huge argument over whether we should keep all of our severed heads in burlap sacks or an ice chest thankfully, in the end, cooler heads prevailed

"I wish I could buy back The woman you stole" #strange_ranger_radio music.youtube.com/watch?v=uyk9...

I posted Hungarian Rhapsody No. 6, a few days ago, but this one (no. 2), is the much more recognizable one from Looney Tunes, and Tom and Jerry, etc. ...anyway, enjoy ;)🎹♥️😘 #strange_ranger_radio music.youtube.com/watch?v=Q54q...

Memory sacrificed on the altar of tomorrow.

them: repeat after me me: hey don't drag me into this

This is one job that robots can never take over

Still workshoppin this product idea, but I need to get the word out there. Iguanavision! *so far I gots: "Forget it Jake, it's Iguanavision." **also, "shouldn't we call it Gek-O-Vision?"

A highly sophisticated ambivalence.

An old high school sleeping injury has been coming back to haunt me.

Big Harvey in his porch chair.

I’m a single-issue voter and that issue is making it illegal to monetize eating in your car

"I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes."

Not sure what pre-nap or late nite wiki-clik got me to this one. But It has some history I never read about before. Is likely not to most interests, but "...achieved international fame for creating Jacqueline Kennedy's bouffant in 1961" is kinda' a thing. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Ken...

That’s okay— my weakness is often mistaken for kindness.

After offending everybody at the saloon with your edgy bit about DJ's they'll put your head through the player piano. And that's the only way you'll be able to plug in your playlist

naming mine C3PeeO

You make me feel. You make me feel. You make me feel like a (rips entire face off to reveal a melting succubus) supernatural woman.

Rain on the plain

There’s something very wholesome about seeing a group of women holding empty matcha cups. They’re out enjoying the summer day. They haven’t littered.

meets you at the airport naked under five cardigans