@aquavulva.bsky.social 🎂🎂🎂

Fully aware the chaos of US politics is engineered to keep everyone obsessively feeding the drama machine, but wow does it make being online feel like punishment.

ODIN SKYLINE CLEANSE 🐕🖤

I do believe in love, I always will

It's fascinating how good my body is at producing muscle knots given how little I move every day. I'm 18% 3-toed sloth on my dad's side according to ancestry.com

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel is a reference to James Cameron's working title for Aliens (1986)

Read those hee-hee-hieroglyphs!

“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” - Bob Dylan

If you see this, post a bird.

if you see this post a bird

Someone hazily plucking a double bass while I perform my husbandly duties.

The worst person in our country is also our president. Other than that, things are groovy

My friends are making a mockumentary (recording each other mocking me)

I used to think that the brain was so powerful as to be almost magical until I spent twenty minutes talking to your boyfriend

why do storks only bring babies why can’t one bring me a cannoli

If you see this post a bird

The dental hygienist just praised my flossing and brushing routine so I got that going for me

It would almost be worth naming your baby Roy to talk about your little bundle of Roy.

logging on wha gwaan

sometimes your brain is too tired to shitpost

Silly dog, blankets are for..nevermind.

saw someone else make an argument i hadn’t heard before- would these older dudes who want to date young girls hang out with a 15 or 16yo boy? no cuz that’s weird.

Archie had found his favourite heat register, again.” 🥰

You know the thing with hot dogs in 10-packs being out of sync with hot dog buns in 8-packs? Well, I have the same problem with the calendar. I scheduled tomorrow's dentist appointment months ago, before the 10 day weather forecast said it was going to rain. Yes, it is the same thing. It is. Really.

Yelling "many hands make light work" to the person in the opposite revolving door quadrant

I like to pretend I'm being shunned instead of acknowledging the fact that my skeets suck

If you see this post a bird

New shoe for your birthday! Woo hoo! Par-tay! 🥳 Singing "It's your birthday" for the rest of the day...

You have 2 days to take your soul out of the freezer if you want it to thaw by Thanksgiving

I’m always sorry I left my comfort zone

Ask him now bet you get the same answer it is Oklahoma after all

nice try big tiddied goth bsky bots, you’ll never get me

sometimes i look back at the nonsense i've skeeted and i ... yeah, no i'm gonna just leave it. nevermind.

Good news is I don’t really pay attention to who follows me, so if the alexxia bots ever return, I won’t know.

Told my friends all your posts are bangers. Please respond.

I know the perfect gift: bubble wrap

Me and a Carolina wren watching the sun slip down through the oaks and pitch pines, thinking about longer days

Fine lines between isles and aisles

my fourth toe is broken at the base. I’m getting a boot tomorrow (for my birthday lol).

Told grandson “It’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it” grandson - ? I Repeated it, and today he told his mom “Mo told me a thing”. And repeated the advice, and admitted “That was probably true.” In case y’all think I have been posting poor advice.

*30 more days of muted words

That thing you want to do... Do it, twice.

I need some Head & Shoulders (…minus the shoulders)

lotta ppl can't tell if i'm hilarious or just extremely uneducated

you never spin me right round like a record baby anymore

not many know this but ho ho ho is short for horny horny horses

lining up the taco filing that fell out onto my plate with a piece of taco shell like its cocaine

I spent a week in Kansas. Plenty of dust in the wind, but not a single wayward son.

In a parallel universe I'm living everything the same after the cross-universe lawsuit about keeping backup files