You know what's horrifying? Internal decapitation.

Sixth consecutive day going in to Kaiser. Fortunately this was just to pick up prescriptions, not to see any doctors or nurses. Gonna try not to make it a complete week.

one time i threatened to jump off a cliff but it was just a bluff

After two months of transformation, I have thrown out the Thanksgiving leftovers

i've taken 2 vicodin and damn i can see how this would become a problem

there should be a high fantasy author who hates writing about food. "and then king aelfrid joined the dwarven feast and quickly wolfed down some ham and a corn or whatever. back to magic"

Dear techbros: In order or "move fast and break things" to be valid, you also need to create things (besides value for shareholders).

Once I said that the problem with suicide was that the wrong people kill themselves. A friend objected. Looking at the news, I stand by these words. Imagine if serial killers killed themselves instead of innocents. Imagine if Jeffrey Epstein killed himself.

Should Kid Rock be punished for 21-year-old lyrics? Yes, if he doesn't sincerely apologize. (And maybe even if he does.) Should Kid Rock apologize for being Kid Rock? No apology would be good enough.

Getting out ahead of tomorrow

One of my proudest online moments

Hey, @dominos-pizza.bsky.social This is some serious bullshit design. I hope I don't have to tell you what the problem is. If I know you and you tell me not to buy Domino's, fuck off. If I don't know you and you tell me not to buy Domino's, BLOCK

Are we entering a new dark age?

It's so funny how many people have had their brains pickled by X and Fox News and can't believe that SF remains one of the most amazing cities in the world.

can't talk right now. just downloaded Touching Grass Simulator 2026

I think Trump sees us all the way we see his supporters

get in losers. no time to explain

What if all the White Lotus people are already dead?

I don't think Trump should have gotten someone else's Nobel, but I do think anyone who would give theirs to Trump doesn't deserve to have one.

adhd medicine really helps me focus on passing out on the couch unexpectedly

Replace all but one of the muppets with Jerry. Which muppet do you keep?

Hi kids, do you like silence? Wanna see me take NyQuil gels and watch the back of my eyelids? Wanna copy me and snooze exactly like I did? Placid and tucked in, first hit the light switch? My brain's delta waves, I'm tryna get my bed made, but I can't figure out which size pillow I want to hibernate

Virginia State Senator Louise Lucas is just a delight on every level

All I get is bitter and a nasty little rash

In the last four days I've collected my urine, had a camera up my dick, been x-rayed twice, CT-scanned once, given an IV in my arm, had another IV in my hand, been injected with dye, been given antibiotics, muscle relaxants, laxatives, and Percocet. I've had my genitals handled by three women.

I volunteer to give the goat attention

What is even the point of attacking the Obamas a decade after they left the White House? Is it just because people actually want to watch Michelle's movie?

crash out with your gash out

It's a shame that all of German's subway stations are in condemned buildings.

Did you know that James "Scotty" Doohan was missing a finger? I just learned that.

Suicide is never the answer

GM: Charisma check. Mamdani: [rolls natural 20] GM: that’s a d6 how did you Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊

I didn't know role-playing games were so dangerous. I mean, I know they turn kids into Satan-worshippers, but these days, what doesn't?

this is why you should *never* hit someone with an rpg. it’s dangerous, it’s shitty, and it’s wrong

If America 2026 was a joint

It’s depressing to hear that Ian McKellen will be playing Gandalf again. Surely he’s hogged the role for long enough and it’s time to give Timothée Chalamet a turn

"Horseshoe Theory" is the theory that horses need shoes. It's controversial because most animals don't wear shoes.

On one hand, "slop" conveys the amount of respect most AI-generated "art" deserves. On the other hand, if we hate AI art (in large part) because it eschews human creativity, maybe we could try NOT using the same word every fucking time we mention AI art?

LOL eat shit

production of The Muppet Show should not be dependent on petty vulgarities like “ratings” or “revenue.” it should be preserved as a vital function of american culture. it should have a taxpayer-funded budget rivaling the CIA

"University? Yeah, I went to Colombia." en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...

Hot Rod and Todd #SimpsonsMovies