yelling really loud at a deaf kid to see if theyre just lying

i just watched this bird order this whole plate for themself

should i wear my tongue tie to my tongue appointment?

youre telling me they put everything in a shower?

taking fall damage when getting out of bed

one day you'll wake up in a barn. so says i, The Barnman.

they should add a "love" button next the to "like" button so we can do even more advanced, manipulative forms of social game theory

1 label has been placed on this account: Highly Green

[talking to an ancient victorian ghost] so u guys didnt have any cool stuff back then? just dumb rocks?

people should start theorycrafting about all my posts

You should have to pass a captcha before thinking about me

yeah man i cant wait to buy your completely white plush of the pencil drawn doodle character you have

Oceanview Lake

are you sure you want to mark this email as red? this change cannot be undone.

"i want to bite human flesh" - normal thing to think but deranged thing to say

i want to be somewhere else where i can be something completely different

i outrank you, in this scenario

i think i figured out TADC, i think its gonna be about dopamine cycles kinda. like caine is built to entertain, and constantly. it wears down the cast and they cant escape it. when people abstract they turn into a mass of eyes that are only calmed down in the dark (i.e. no display)

dont throw the chamber pot out with the piss and shit, as they say

whats got you fuming buddy? whats got you raging dude?

mosquitos outside my window chanting "we want blood! we want blood!"

they say country living is authentic living but you go to the country and talk to someone and theyll tell you how the people in the cities are making humans with mushroom heads in a vat

its 2034.. car manufactuers have run out of cool names for car brands.. you drive a Kia Cucumber

whole town cheers because we recieved an email announcing our favorite meal deals are back at our local eatery

study funded by the Trying To Kill You Foundation finds guns an overall net positive for babies

i've never had a three body problem, personally. it all comes very naturally to me.

[guy from fallout who wont go to a dermatologist] "wart.. wart never changes.."

mommy? daddy? when i grow up i want to shoot people in the head.

i have immunity to slashing and posting damage

trying to "im just a little guy" your way out of getting caught typing "MEGA MILK" ten thousand times in a vtuber's stream chat

if im gonna clean up this mess im going to need a wet priest and a dry priest

God news guys, your fears have been determined to be well founded and reasonable by the International Worry Council

i need to draw something

I know it's time for bed when crab man posts his nightly tubi movie selection

the police should use these on people instead of tasers

depending on the outcome of The Amazing Digital Circus im prolly gonna blow my shit smoove off

i know nobody asked me but my job on the commune would be giving everyone vasectomies

gently jacking my shit all over the local bar's only pool table

The phrase "damsel in distress" come from back when we would arrest women for not wearing the socially proper attire so when the police locked the woman up they would say "get in the damn cell in dis dress"

my heart is trying to find some wriggling way out of my chest like a worm

i need to get my meds figured out cuz this wellbutrin is making me a mess

i dont understand horses. do they have a cloaca? i dont have any other questions.

rebooting soon as i am able

computer guy: the eye can see 240fps console guy: no it can only see 30fps movie guy: no it can only see 24fps animation guy: no it can only see on 2s bat guy: i need to find the jokester

could god create a penis even he couldnt take up the ass?

fine, you caught me. i would wear a furry suit if i had the money. and i would have gotten away with it too if it werent for you meddling kids..

my mom is breaking my cat measuing cups because she hates whimsy

assuming makes an ass. through the power of donkey magic.

ripping your ass a newt one (hole for newts)