nightylamp
@nightmare-fueler.bsky.social
๐ค 2255
๐ฅ 429
๐ 15778
Writer for The Economist i'll save everyone they/she ยท 28
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[evil villain voice] shitposter.. we're not so different, you and i..
5 months ago
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rebooting soon as i am able
22 minutes ago
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computer guy: the eye can see 240fps console guy: no it can only see 30fps movie guy: no it can only see 24fps animation guy: no it can only see on 2s bat guy: i need to find the jokester
about 11 hours ago
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could god create a penis even he couldnt take up the ass?
about 11 hours ago
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fine, you caught me. i would wear a furry suit if i had the money. and i would have gotten away with it too if it werent for you meddling kids..
about 12 hours ago
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my mom is breaking my cat measuing cups because she hates whimsy
about 12 hours ago
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assuming makes an ass. through the power of donkey magic.
about 12 hours ago
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ripping your ass a newt one (hole for newts)
about 15 hours ago
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putting tampons in my hair like curlers
about 16 hours ago
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this is my world, yall just living in it. rent is due. im using the money to buy us a pizza party. there will be no vegan options because i forgot.
about 16 hours ago
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when i was a little baby on the internet i remember stumbling upon a fanfic of pokemon and being freaked out that misty and ash kissed so i closed it out in confusion. everytime i see fandom stuff i am reminded of that.
1 day ago
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reposted by
nightylamp
little lamb
1 day ago
The earth is more than a gay little speck to me
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reposted by
nightylamp
I remember I got high one time and i couldnt stop looking at pictures of bulborbs from pikmin and laughing
7 months ago
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dont feel like posting today
1 day ago
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wish i had robot knees
2 days ago
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im somewhere on your timeline
2 days ago
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reposted by
nightylamp
budum
2 days ago
Mom doesnt fw the vision
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swat team raiding a home and giving a hand signal for "senile grandpa"
2 days ago
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reposted by
nightylamp
Read description!
2 days ago
just read the book that only morally good people read
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this really sucks. i was just getting used to writing 2018 on all my documents
2 days ago
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I wasnt expecting anything at all from the story of Ghost Recon: Breakpoint, but I am still disappointed. Its so bad. Just really lame and feels like a rough draft of a story.
2 days ago
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lady doing a tiktok cheese pull on the worlds nastiest dick
3 days ago
2
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working on a theory that ties the building of the pyramids to the size of breasts during that era
3 days ago
2
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from A to whatever comes last
3 days ago
3
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dont ask me to do a holiday theme for my account ever again. it scored me ZERO pussy
3 days ago
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marie and ara could be liking all my posts right now but they wont cuz im woke
3 days ago
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"cheesecake? more like cheese no thank" - guy who doesnt like cheesecake but loves saying stuff in really stupid ways
4 days ago
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dont forget to check under the year tree to see if father time left any news for you
4 days ago
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its actually 7 in dog new years
4 days ago
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diligently watching the news for the new years first murder
4 days ago
2
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ok this year is already getting old
4 days ago
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new year, new grandparents. the perks of sneaking into a hospice center.
4 days ago
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youtube, show me the simpsons episode where that one character did that thing
4 days ago
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douchebag is a new word that i coined. please use it in 2026
4 days ago
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im so excited. in a few hours, nothing happens
4 days ago
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what if we combine all the people with scoliosis like some kinda jigsaw puzzle
5 days ago
1
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im gonna pick your nose a new one
5 days ago
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if slimes are level 1, what the heck is an ant? those things are way weaker than a slime.
5 days ago
2
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need a guy who can heed my becks and calls
5 days ago
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guess im sleeping in the dog house tonight, which is where i normally sleep
5 days ago
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doctor who insists the simpsons have jaundice and gets upset when people tell them its a cartoon
5 days ago
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i think about how differently my life could have played out after i fell off my bike and broke my arms. if i asked the doctor to replace my hands with gatling guns, what would i be doing now?
5 days ago
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[1st guy]: hoots on first [not the punchline guy]: no youre supposed to say "who's on first" [1st guy]: wait where's the punchline guy? [not the punchline guy]: idk, but dont call me "guy"
5 days ago
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Vox (the media company, not the populi) did a informational video about my strangely shaped butthole
5 days ago
5
25
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[running up to the guy selling hotcakes, panting with a fist full of cash] "do you have any hotdogs?"
5 days ago
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six of one, bakers dozen of the other
5 days ago
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do british people call it Mummers Day? do they say "Happy Mummers Day"? get the fuck outta here
5 days ago
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hes got a buuble shield his name wintom
5 days ago
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raindrops on corpses and gashes on liches brown canvas bags on the heads of dead witches
6 days ago
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dont let perfect be the enemy
6 days ago
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humping birds are so cute and pretty. did you know that theyre called that because when they fap their wings so fast it sounds like humping? more now u know.
6 days ago
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