treating you like a princess but Im an antimonarchist revolutionary hoping to leverage you against the kingdom

when I die bury all my oomfs with me in a giant coffin

being silly in a very serious way

the only thing standing between me and the projects I want to do is me and all the projects I havent finished

dude . that jutsus forbidden

nice rooms. let me guess ..

please dont judge me. I want to do the judging

crab man .. more like crap man

too many people talk to me without being in love with me

smurfing at my local chess club

I made all my followers posting thirst traps

everybody shut up one of my favorite posters deactivated

these rooms are not so back to me

Im not cleaning . I wont do it. I wasnt born for this

asking randall munroe from askxkcd every week how much beefaroni you can eat before you die. titleing the email urgent every week

Im being normal now I promise

you use a "software stack"? that sounds like end user talk. all my friends write their microservices from scratch in golfing languages and we never ship

technology is cool. I wish it were real

my favorite pastime is spreading myself too thin

I love the rain

Im sorry I didnt follow you back your avatar scared me

if I didnt follow you back Im sorry its because Im ignorant and oblivious

theres no "I" in "team" your honor

please dont disturb me im running 1,000 simulations in parallel in my mind

introducing myself and asking what your deal is

[explaining my resume skills] and Ive watched the office one hundred times,

all computers have a psychic constitution most r just very weak

is this about me? @wsj.com

when you turn 45 they should take away your drivers license

girl your vibes are fucking rancid. no offense

emailing my old boss pictures of my bank account

I would never depict myself. are you kidding me

"no man ever steps in the same river twice for it is not the same river and he is not the same man" is not an encouraging thing to hear from chief obrien right before using the teleporter

getting rich and dying trying

doing deep research on my new coworker and spending all weekend studying their subject matter expertise so I have a major upper hand the first time we meet

Im sorry I was nice to you I thought you were one of my friends 500 alts

thinking about how evil is not good

if youve got a sense of self youve been proper scammed

hi Im your representative I know you wanted me to vote against that bad thing but the good news is they sent me a big bribe so its all ok now :)

loot box economy

I dont know what a € is I imagine some sort of elf currency

telling my boss I dont know what happened but I completely forgot how to do my job over the weekend

Im only delusional if Im wrong

I love the capability of foresight. its like wow. that thing is going to happen to me

nurse! more coffee

I would personally never pay for any thing on the internet

telling my doctor I want whatever they did to robocop

telling my doctor I wont sleep better and I wont eat better and I wont exercise better and what are my remaining options

ok maybe its killing me but what if I did it five hundred more times

somebody send me a doctor one of those with the big masks that look like birds