Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

Alan Dershowitz has killed himself on celebrity wheel of fortune

A plea for help. 🙏 One of the lead playtesters of Blue Prince, Iggy, has polycystic kidney disease and has only a few months to find a living kidney donor. His story, contact and donor information can all be found on iggyland.org Please help us in sharing his story and getting the word out.💙

GTA VI delayed until 2026 so that Rockstar can add more business names that would seem funny if you were a British man in the mid-2000s

“Uhh, it’s … two squiggles” - James “Lucky Guess” Watson

This sets a dangerous legal precedent that I intend to profit from, as the inventor of the knifewich

It's over: I've already depicted you as the seething broad gauge train, and myself as the smug narrow gauge!

For all the valid criticism of Giuliani, he’s still a hero for saving New York’s egg

Wow. In another huge upset, Mesmero, the Master of Mentalism, has been elected mayor of Chicago. Political pundits are shocked - he’s a first-time candidate who barely spent anything on advertising, and there wasn’t even an election scheduled for today

As sick and degenerate as New Yorkers are, even they wouldn’t elect a man named Andrew Cummo

I have once again been vindicated in my opinion that only people who live in big cities should be allowed to vote

Turning this off. i thought this was supposed to be about an escape from alcatraz..

good Reddit

I had my political differences with Dick Cheney, but in person I found him warm, funny, a gracious host and surprisingly knowledgeable about music. Seeing The Jesus Lizard with him in 2009 was a blast, and he didn't hesitate to wade into the pit despite a few sidelong glances.

A third plane has struck Dick Cheney

Silksong players only think Bilewater is bad because of the name. If it was called Candy Town everyone would love it.

28g (1oz) uranium contains ~20,000,000,000 kcal, making it an incredibly cost effective source of calories

I will support any New York mayoral candidate who admits bodegas are just convenience stores and everywhere in the world has them

“I was watching the baseball game” Interesting. I was contemplating solutions to the great global challenges of the 21st century. But your game sounds nice too 🤷‍♂️

Say what you will about Brianna Wu but she’s the only one taking the problem of weaponised moon rocks seriously

Thank god Halloween is over and there are no more major holidays until Christmas

It's nearly impossible to make a living entertaining children in a sewer since Stephen king's "It"

I’m not a huge Kiss fan but I have to admit this track is a banger

I think the dislike button is a good idea as long as I also receive a monthly email with the name and address of everyone who disliked one of my posts

LONDON (AP) — Buckingham Palace says King Charles III will strip Prince Andrew of remaining titles including “Andrew”, curse him to wander the Earth as “the nameless one”

I don’t need a movie about Bruce Springsteen. I need a movie about what the hell happened to the chicken man.

that’s right beg you miserable worm

I should’ve learned this by now but DO NOT use FedEx. The diseased monkeys I ordered haven’t arrived and I can’t get a straight answer on what happened to them

CHOTINER: what’s up ME: not much dude CHOTINER: right on

It’s a big day for fans of baseball, or as the rest of the world calls it, “American Cricket”

If Isaac Chotiner asked me a difficult question I would simply suplex him through a table then apply a figure-four leglock

Moving right won’t help the Democrats win elections. Moving left won’t help the Democrats win elections. The only thing that will help is moving down. It’s time for the Democrats to become the party of molemen

The last time an American reached the top of the Billboard charts was in 1993 with the release of “I’m The Baby (Gotta Love Me),” which spent 572 weeks at #1 before being banned by Clear Channel in the wake of the Iraq War.

Please kill me

Frankenstein is in cinemas? Awful. He should be in prison!

not cool man, my dad died during the events of Tenet... yeah, he fell into a guard tower

the deal i struck with burger king

Experts predict that by 2026, 100% of US government spending will go towards the construction of visual metaphors for the US government

one thing thats kinda crazy to get your head around is not that the musk and thiel masters of the universe are ungrateful for the vast public infrastructure, public funding of research, and robust systems of laws and rules that made their wealth possible. it's that theyre too dumb to understand it

had to put this one together from the archives but: called it again

We can save the White House from demolition but it’s going to cost money. A lot of money. Don’t worry, I have a plan: let’s put on a show

[kool keith voice] i eliminated 85% of microplastics from my ejaculate

I know this won’t be a popular opinion on here, but Donald Trump is right to finally install an indoor toilet in the White House. It’s appalling that for 200 years the American president has had to crap in a wooden outhouse with flies buzzing around it

i know it sucks but it must feel a little fun to be that guy with the backhoe destroying the white house. that’s like the final boss of operating heavy machinery