I enjoyed the Super Bowl halftime show but it would be nice if next year the halftime show was a plain black screen for fifteen minutes, giving football fans a quiet moment to contemplate their own mortality

Okay, I’ve heard all the criticisms. I agree now that my plan to create a Jonestown on Mars was foolish and dangerous. I will instead be building a much more achievable Jonestown on the Moon

Wait they didn’t have drafts before?? You’ve all been able to see these posts?????

Absolutely devastating. Jon was a wonderful guy and the best political cartoonist Australia ever produced

Laughing at all these idiots betting on the 2026 Super Bowl. The real money is in betting on the 2025 Super Bowl. Guaranteed result = guaranteed profit.

before you reply something annoying to something i say on here, remember that everyone is fighting a battle you can’t see. for instance, im already reading a different annoying response to something i said.

I keep hearing that wokeness is dead but if that’s true how come there’s a TV show about a romance between two gay men who play hockey but no TV shows about a romance between two straight men who play hockey??

torpedo smorgasbord 1-3

I’d love to be able to enjoy the Muppets as much as everyone else does but whenever I watch them I just feel sick imagining what the man inside the Kermit the Frog costume must look like

It’s crazy that biathlon was only invented in 1978 to promote The Spy Who Loved Me but it’s stuck around as an Olympic sport ever since

My lifestyle determines my slopestyle.

The dirty secret of curling that no one involved in the sport will admit is that the broom doesn’t do anything

It’s depressing to hear that Ian McKellen will be playing Gandalf again. Surely he’s hogged the role for long enough and it’s time to give Timothée Chalamet a turn

After whatever happened to this poor bastard before he got shot with an RPG, being blown up by an RPG would’ve been a mercy

Already reposted the quoted post but just started cracking up all over again because I can’t believe we saw a wholesome example of this exact format in the wild

Let’s be honest: in many of these winter Olympic “sports”, the snow is doing most of the work. An unexpected thaw would expose these so-called athletes for the frauds they are

That’s right folks. Kamala Harris has not only found, but captured and killed, the legendary ape man known as Bigfoot

Don’t worry everyone, I have a plan to personally save journalism. I simply need to make a billion dollars and not be corrupted by my newfound wealth

Ohhhhhhh, that’s who Gary Larson was drawing

My story on Elon Musk cutting safeguards at xAI is on the front page of today's @washingtonpost.com. I’m also among 100’s of reporters laid off. I absolutely loved my job my brilliant coworkers & the thrill of reporting @ the center of forces upending the world: AI & Silicon Valley’s political power

please note I do not know computer www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2OO...

Don’t take your eye off the ball, people. There is nothing more important right now than deciding what we all think about Will Stancil

Oh disgraced early bluesky poster Neil Gaiman is back? Is the cookie recipe guy back too?

Presenting the Grammy for Oh You’re Still Here to an old guy everyone assumed was dead by now

Congratulations to Emerson, Lake & Palmer for winning the Grammy for Best Concept Album About An Armadillo Tank for the 54th year in a row

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.

I’ve seen enough. It’s time to arrest Jeffrey Epstein!

it's not, and if you've ever had so much as a moment of joy while bad things exist you should be ashamed the next time you smile at a sunrise, remember: you're smiling with Hitler

telling my adorable daughter i'm not putting the drawing she made on the fridge because it's toddlerslop

X is hiring a “great lothario” at $40 an hour to teach Grok “the pleasures of the flesh”

TO: World’s Biggest Pedophile FROM: Elon Musk SUBJECT: RE: Pedophile party on your pedophile island Any other famous pedophiles going to be there? Looking forward to doing a bunch of pedophile stuff btw.

Okay fine I’ll marry Rob Schneider. I can fix him.

To support Rob Schneider during this difficult time I will be renting The Screaming Dipshit (2006) tonight

I have taken out of a full page ad in the Wall Street Journal accepting Kanye’s apology. It cost me $300,000 (which I really couldn’t afford 😬) but it was worth it to promote tolerance and harmony!

Scientists should invent a Good Day clock that counts down to everything being fine

A collection of Kaleb's writing put together by his family. www.kalebchorton.com

The Doomsday Clock is too grim. We should change it to this.

You can’t tell me we have a functioning economic system when the richest man in human history is one of the most profoundly stupid people in human history

I’m an opinion columnist and I’m giving you opinions. What more do you want?? For the opinions to be good????

*MY*

Hell yeah. All you motherfuckers better watch this show!

Congrats to all the Oscar nominees! As a service to future generations, I believe all copies of films that weren’t nominated should be destroyed so that people don’t waste time watching them

Stan Wawrinka holy shit

The NYT reports that Air Force One has turned around due to a situation officials are describing as “creature on the wing”

cool name why’s it called that