The assassins creed eagle sound plays as i climb the the tallest building in a new city to scan for the closest arbys

Someone dumped Mitch McConnell's body on the lawn at the 250th state fair thing, you can look at him for five bucks

Me when I'm 7 beers deep and trying to create a Mr Bungle / Beyonce mashup in ableton at 3 in the morning

Today I fire all of my guns at once and explode into space. Squeezing the trigger of every last professional skill I possess or lack until they're all clicking empty. Namco Museum Museum. YouTube Premiere event: Noon today, PDT. 5-minute countdown begins at 11:55 PDT. youtube.com/@mythicresonance

Weaves with his spinners Eats bugs for his dinners There’s hair on the back of my

Last night was good

I can't bring myself to own a controller named "GameSir." Feels lascivious.

That’s not Burning Man, that’s Crow T. Robot

Chemicals in the water turned the friggin totes gay

He might be a trillionaire but he can never have enough money to erase this moment from his memory

I've used the "save post" functionality on this website exactly once

Here to perform the national anthem, U-God

In the new Fockers movie there’s going to be an awkward dinner scene where EVERYONE has nipples

Never share your passwords. Not even with the computer.

scary movie looks funny

Strange shirtless man on instagram: “What’s up guys if you’re shitting like this you’re shitting wrong” Me on the toilet: “oh no”

In the early 1980's, Steven Spielberg saw an alien walking around. He didn't scream. He didn't run away—he turned it into an opportunity. He said, "I can make a movie of this." That alien's name? E.T. And together they created pure cinematic excellence.

Jeff Dunham will not be performing at the Great American State Fair but the racist puppets WILL be there. You can look at the puppets in a plastic tub

Mustang horse nicotine packets

@nycsanitation.bsky.social I’d like to report a sweep

The rabbits are attending Trash Church

Don't be so quick to judge. Maybe he means it in the sir mix-a-lot sense.

Madam, it's an honor to be one of the 18.4K people you follow

Lmao shut up jesus christ

On the tube

One cat is sleeping comfortably in her tower, the other is becoming Tetsuo: The Iron Cat

"To the graduating class of 2026, in order to succeed you must embrace a future in which your bodies are pulverized into a slurry that will be used to cool our thinking machines. Only then will you know happiness." (flipping through note cards) "Ok, what else, what else..."

I ORDER MY COFFEE BLACK. NO SUGAR. NO MILK. NO WATER. NO CUP. THEY HAND ME THE BEANS. I EAT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT LIKE A HORSE. THE BARISTAS HAVE STOPPED CHARGING ME. I HAVE NOT SLEPT SINCE TUESDAY. I CAN HEAR THE WIFI

My favorite reddit posts are some guy saying "I found this in my wife's car and I'm concerned, does anyone know what this is?" and it's a picture of a leaf or something

So quiet under my breath that you can barely hear me while Chuck D is in the room: “I dunno I think there’s some good stuff on Channel Zero”

This is the funniest question i've ever seen

They got dented cans of gas at Wawa, save a few bucks

Prime with ads. Just how Kubrick intended.

Five dollars? get outta here...

My job is forcing me to use AI and within 10 minutes it convinced me that I was Viewtiful Joe

Tony | Official Trailer HD | A24 "Tony, you can't compare this preparation of duck à l'orange to a Cramps album! The world isn't ready for it!" The music cuts out. Close up of Anthony Bourdain's eyes. "Watch me."

Wait they made a movie of Star Wars? I’ll have to check it out (also this was my father’s, I’ve never seen him read a single book including this one)

ive watched this part like a dozen times now

Oh my god

I can’t afford the fancy AI apps so instead I’ve fallen in love with Google Authenticator

What more does this man have to do before his mind can be described as "twisted"

My job is hosting an art therapy class to make sure we don't all kill ourselves after another round of layoffs and my art is looking like this

a good name for a horse would be Kris Klipclopperston

Tonight... Bobo honks back

i shoplift because i know the pope still ain't gonna do shit about it

Dumping 450 movies from the criterion closet into a shopping cart supermarket sweep style. "These movies are very important to me because they're about tragedy and loss probably"