Ole and Lena get married in Wilmar and are driving up to Sauk Rapids for their honeymoon. Ole puts his hand on Lena’s leg, and she says “you know Ole, we’re married now. You can go further”, so Ole drives all the way to Duluth

This reads like a line they would have Mike say in The Chair Company

Jewel: the first hooker that loves you

On a similar note: I saw this ad last night and it reminded me of all the memes I’ve seen young people make about Pelosi’s stock trading that make the Dems look corrupt. It would be a very good move for someone with Dem outsider creds to propose a stock trading ban and for the party to embrace it.

It is so important to not gleefully do the kinds of things that your opponents would claim you do to try to discredit you

Man we didn’t know how good we had it in the 2010s

I’m not a homeowner so I went to look up “median property tax Chicago” and it’s less than $5k a year? That’s like $400 a month when property values are rising like 8.6% a year? Do you want to live in a a working society or do you want to save a couple hundred dollars a month?

whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight

The longer MJ Lenderman goes without also releasing new music, the less enthusiasm I have to go see him

People heading for the 7 Train after a 12-1 loss at Citi Field

The best part of Stop Making Sense didn't actualy make it into the movie

One of the hallmarks of really Trump-y politicians, and Eric Adams certainly is one, is ceding most of the power of government to an underling while holding onto the ceremonial part of the job. They all want to be the Queen of England, not an administrator.

I think this started out as the more correct proposition that "southern states aren't AS solid red as you might think, because of suppression and gerrymandering, so we shouldn't write them off completely" but turned into One Weird Trick because social media is a highly lossy game of Telephone

Man we gotta find better work for Ray Wise

Hi! Working on story for Bustle on women who left their big city corporate jobs for "Hallmark" lives, i.e., moved to a small town to open a bookstore, left finance for farm life, dumped a Bay Area tech gig to become a florist, etc. If that's you, I'd love to talk! DMs open, [email protected]

I think that the conversation on if the south is racist, a thing that is very upsetting to type out, is missing that there are qualifiers like depth and pervasiveness that get flattened by asking it as though it's a single question

Monday

Nick Markakis may not be a Hall of Famer in real life but he will always be a Hall of Famer in my heart for the time he took strike one god I miss Remy and Orsillo

if white voters in southern states were the same as white voters in New York this would be every electoral map of our lifetimes

...Nick Markakis? Him?

Chanting "touch the stove" but for a team to sign a too old guy in clear risk of decline to a long contract

People who brag about not sleeping are a huge red flag. If you think that not sleeping is not a big deal, read this paragraph. It's like getting kicked in the head by a horse all the time.

I am willing to defend this - it's nice to have a word processor on your phone that you can use when there's no cell phone reception. I used to write a lot on the subway like this just because it enforces focus.

I've seen multiple people QT this with "The party that couldn't endorse Zohran is endorsing MTG" and you guys gotta pay attention to what the party is actually doing before you get mad. Most Democrats have been enthusiastic about Zohran.

Man this is like problem number ten or twelve but her hair and eyebrows look like absolute dogshit

I remember being a teenager and hearing about people drinking a bunch of cough syrup and tripping for days, I think teenagers are just like this

Cat owners won’t talk about it, but sometimes when the cat is purring real hard and clearly on your side it’s fun to pet the cat this hard

It brings me no joy to say that the answer is Aaron Rodgers, a pocket passer who can make some miracles happen but mostly leans on his various apostles

It’s a mistake to automatically assume that there’s something deeply incriminating for Trump in the Epstein files, which is why he tried to keep them from being released. I think this is about his inability to control the narrative, and then his inability to control his caucus.

There is only one good movie genre and it’s “dumb guy thinks he’s smart”

Is it good when the broadcast is roasting your play calling

Pointing a the screen and yelling “BUDDY” when they show the Betsy Ross house

What the hell is Dan Campbell doing?

We need to stop America’s Small Business Tyrant class, which includes a lot of lawyers

This makes me realize that a hukou system in America would be incredibly popular with the burrito taxi set

What’s unsportsmanlike about hugging the goalposts with your taint?

It has baffled me for quite some time why baseball analysts are incapable of considering opportunity costs when analyzing long or large free agent deals. Teams simply don’t cut bait on players the second they rationally should in actuality for a variety of reasons

This take suffers from the same thing as all discourse about Trump voters: an inability to distinguish swing voters from Trump’s base. You should welcome the swing voters, people who were worried about inflation or whatever, but the chuds? The best you can do is bullying them into staying home.

I don’t think that Josh Naylor is better than or will age better than Cody Bellinger so I’m not sure what the M’s are doing signing him for five years

Me, asleep on a plane, being woken up by the attendant asking if I want a bag of nuts

Fucking exceptional weekend work here by the MTA

Do you think these guys realize how cowardly it looks for them to show up in overwhelming numbers and with the threat of deadly force to… harass and detain a guy in a hoodie hanging out in front of a hardware store?

So here’s the thing: there is nothing wrong with advocating for your own material interests. It’s exactly what the NIMBYs are doing! I believe in building more housing because I would like housing to live in. That’s not a controversial statement.

Huh I wonder why a burger place has been getting more expensive after COVID

Damn, a lot of people are going to take the bait here huh? Do you not see how handing it to the antisemitic lady undermines your own position?

Ah cool my post has hit Gas Leak In Your House Bluesky