you guys

i'm going to be totally honest, i'm not above it and i wouldn't be mad if my friends swore oaths of vengeance on my enemies at my funeral

FDR won 42 states in 1932, it wasn't by pandering to Hoover voters. Then Republicans called him a socialist for 4 years. Then he ran for reelection and won 46 states

I live for this shit

Waking up from a 15-year magical coma after eating an ensorcelled croissant intended for the princess: ahh man, I needed that

Probably just racism if I'm being honest with you

Me: I need more power Gf being cute: I’m stronger than 10,000 samurai😊 Me: haha..no you’re not. The strength of ten thousand samurai is immeasurable. [2 hrs later] Ten thousand. Wtf In tears as I bend the knee in servitude: Daimyo.. Her thinking Im proposing: ohmygodohmygod

one reason i don't complain much about bluesky's (terrible) moderation is because you're supposed to hate the mods. there has never been a good mod. best case scenario, a poster sacrifices his humanity and takes on the mantle knowing he will be villified, spat on, name cursed for generations, etc

every poster whose skeets get read in court should be required to have a username that is this funny, at bare minimum

this country used to have class. when you were bribing a politician or reporter you gave them the money in a proper burlap sack with a big dollar sign on it. nowadays they just shove the wad of dough in a takeout bin or chip bag with nary a how do you do for your trouble

if i wrote fantasy novels you'd never see a single fucking oat cake. steak and ale, sure. hearty stews, naturally. and lots of green vegetables, don't get me wrong! but nobody'd be voluntarily eating a god damn oat cake

nixon going on laugh in and saying "by god, you go get those bastards and you do it tonight!" to an aide before turning to the camera and saying "oh, uhh. sock it. to me?"

WHY IS NOTHING ALLOWED TO LOOK COOL ANYMORE?????

(DMing girl) Life is so randommm it's like.. Whyyyyyy Lol. (logging into Albert Einstein role playing account) (DMing same girl) Life makes perfect since

man not to simp but i just can't get enough adrian tchaikovsky lately. finished shroud & cage of souls in the last few weeks and now right into dogs of war

"slopulism" is another good one in this vein

Video of Shane Gillis approvingly and largely correctly explaining John Brown to Theo Von. Real thing. Weird time to be alive.

Just saw a guy wearing both a keffiyeh and a Gamecocks dri-fit polo because every combination of personal attributes is possible in Brooklyn. We have one of everybody

stadium blaring roundball rock as a casket is pushed out of the c-130 overhead; a big bullseye painted on the field with “free 10 oz black rifle coffee” in the center

assembling a fantasy lunch: warm crusty bread, a hunk of cheese. a bit of cured sausage and a clutch of fresh grapes. shared out of a handkerchief with a brooding ranger I met in the woods

Getting together with the fellas to tell the anecdote of Ethan Allen seeing the picture of George Washington in the bathroom in England

there's never been a better time than right now to get lincolnpilled. well i guess 1858 or so would have been pretty good too but since then

Again Bouie from the top rope

the eternal battle of the “I like the coffee pods because it takes 15 seconds” people and the “I’m getting up at 4am to have coffee at 5am” people

50% of all posts on reddit are "do i really need a fancy rice maker? i can make pretty good rice on the stove" and the other 50% are all "i have tasted of the zojirushi and i can never go back to my old preindustrial ways of ricemaking"

I went through and counted. There's only 1:24 of Kirk speaking in the entire documentary--half of which is him doing poorly in debates.

you have to admit "can you make a documentary about a contemporary subject that never directly quotes anything he ever said or did" is kind of an interesting challenge from an artistic perspective

that's fucked up. only regular powerless people whose identities don't align with christian white supremacy are supposed to get death threats

my sister nixed my idea of doing a facetime so my zojirushi rice cooker and her samsung washing machine can sing to each other

It really needs to be said how these “concerns” were literally the default compromise position by every major sporting body since 2015 and anyone arguing other is just looking for further restrictions. And politicians playing into that rhetoric are why the current moment is perilous for us.

no doom loops for me, please. virtuous cycles only

i've decided i don't need to know about every front in this war. bill maher, to me, is the aleutian islands campaign

those monasteries accepting alms from all the noblemen who think the world's about to end aren't lifting a finger to save their souls once the doors are closed

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two big graves and one small grave. The person you are going to kill probably has a family.

the costco executives, they came to me and they said we're trapped in a horrible deal. they had a contract with pepsi and they asked if I could tear it up. I said sure, I'll make them tear it up, but you're paying for all my diet coke from now on. That was a great deal for me and the american people

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. The person you are going to kill probably has a spouse or right hand man that will get in your way.

Oh so it’s fascist to be from Chicago now? The woke mob is out of control

you can't force me out of my epistemic bubble. i have rent control

how did they get this intel

i don't think anyone has ever hated the american economy more than this guy

tim taylor: we all know that gender is a performance, al al: i don't think so, tim. that's a common misreading of butlerian theory, which refers to the linguistic "performative act," e.g. naming a ship. however, the symbolic interactionist school does understand everyday life as dramaturgy

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

I think they should have a parallel show called Stupid Andor that's about all the stuff going on at the same time that would have been too stupid to put in Andor and would have ruined the vibe (Jar Jar stuff, Palpatine meetings) but also a smart person could come up with something interesting about

mikey & mel's.... it's mid i'm afraid

My militantly de-woked alma mater, which Charlie Kirk did not attend, might erect a statue to him, for the same reasons that Sinclair media will be airing a memorial for him tonight on local stations nationwide: Because fuck you, that's why.

i've invented another way out other than through. i call it "under"

real macho man we got here. threat neutralized soldier, good job. looks like you really needed that call of duty max loadout

I wanted to get a video of this ghost crab but every time I got close to their hole they scuttled back in, so I tried getting clever with it. I made a little sandcastle and shoved my phone into it, hit record, and walked away. Crab was VERY suspicious of this addition to their environment.