god I need a haircut

walk into the club like

laughing through bared teeth like the dogs they are

getting booed at an olympic opening ceremony is among the most artsy public humiliations. everyone's all dressed up and full of pomp it's like if the whole cirque du soleil was laughing at you

Someday we gotta care about right and wrong. We just don't. We don't.

starting with the tea party america's entire fascist turn has been a counterrevolution to a revolution that only happened on television

bitcoin collapsing as everyone using it realizes that in 2026 america you can just use cash to buy trafficked children

Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading https://theonion.com/trove-of-emails-about-pedophilia-reignites-nations-love-of-reading/

watching elite consensus-makers egg each other on in seeing who is willing to put their name on the "pedophilia isnt that bad actually" article is so cool. that used to happen in private smoke-filled parlors! now it happens in substack comments sections. that's digital democracy in action

kamala still has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever (second nixon)

tochka can't eat before her vet checkup and she is just the most pathetic creature

newspapers have to run a profit for the same reason amtrak does

given how scared he is of falling down I wouldn't be shocked if trump hadn't taken a shower in years

if I was a member of the illuminati at davos and this guy showed up smelling like shit and looking like a half-dead corpse I'd start thinking I was sacrificing children to the wrong god

I always figured this was why they made the innistrad video game (it was a ps4 exclusive, you probably haven't heard of it)

none of YOU guys are billionaire pedophiles right? you'd tell me if you were

* to the tune of uptown girl by Billy Joel* Epstein files The elite’s a bunch of pedophiles The whistleblowers always seem to die  I bet the President can tell you why Though he’ll deny

I have literally never been more sane

Kendrick Lamar keeps getting notoriety & love for outing a pedophile and humiliating him on an international level. It's almost like doing that is a winning recipe for success. It's almost like doing that should be baked into our political platforms because we have a serious pedophile problem.

The Internet, our home, is beginning to look like an immense pile of filth.

new labour as a political project was in part a scheme to get peter mandelson richer friends so it's sad to see the british government repudiate its own history like this

steam radiator hissing and spitting like someone told it it was in the epstein files

neil gaiman trying to worm back into public consciousness is so heartbreaking like damn not one saudi prince wanted to give him money

I bet being read feels so good if you're a book

I love engaging in vanity projects

i'd say "just stick to music, man" but he shouldn't be doing that either

[approvingly] kendrick just opened his mouth. somebody hand him a grammy right now

another day of successfully not maiming myself with heavy industrial machinery in the books. whatever tomorrow may bring, i'm glad it's not the consequences of being maimed by heavy industrial machinery

id love for someone to ask biden how he feels about not doing enough to stop all this but im sure he doesn't remember

in retrospect in the wake of the epstein files being released, no wonder ‘me too’ was met with such anger and ultimately those in power it meant to target never face many consequences

I can't believe how cringe the death-drive is now. thanks a lot nazis

gonna go see the general grant tomb tomorrow. fun february starts now

I just feel like there should be more degrees of separation between me and jeffrey epstein. this feeling I imagine is now shared by everyone in the world except lawrence krauss

I had a bizarre dream where the 4chan guy was taking meetings with jeffrey epstein and then opened a nazi forum that ended up staffing the executive branch of the us government

sorry but i think its okay to ask for anything now that our leaders have been getting to rape teenagers without going to jail for the last few decades. bill gates got an STD from raping a teenager and i'm supposed to have a credit score?!

I've probably heard this tom morello ffxiv song 200 times

Let's not jump to conclusions. Some of these emails are pretty old. Elon Musk may have been going to the island as a child.

death worship seems so unappealing if you can't be chill about it

Its Reality Delamination Friday With Tony Dokoupil

lot going on

definitely a day to watch a mighty wind

we need to put all remaining members of the SCTV cast in cryo freeze until a cure for death is invented

This day fucking sucks!

"i'm totally not a nazi but i would love to debate the name of the prison we are illegally kidnapping and placing children in"

We urgently need better funding for theatre in schools. Something must be done about the great number of young men who've found themselves on the far right because they love dressing up

ME: [bakes a bunch of cookies, puts them in a jar] YOU: [sticks your hand in there] ME: you PIECE of SHIT!!!

bill cosby should go on cnn to defend don lemon's honor