stephen root means widows bay has a floor of 8/10

ahhhh its cold and rainy ahhh im so happy

new york city is so unsafe. the streets are full of the sound of explosions right now

ok if trump got struck by lightning I would go back to church

through our combined efforts over two days we were able to open 1 jar. thank you for your support

america's too big to "be from". there's an academic treatise about this (Simon, Garfunkel, 1968)

I was supposed to drive jimmy fallon home from taylor swift's wedding last night but he's just sleeping in my car like a raccoon now. jimmy it's gonna be hot today it's not safe in there

luxuriating in bed (merely 82 degrees)

sonic, tails, knuckles, shadow

suicide plan: going to find a french baker and tell him I refresh day old baguettes by microwaving them

everyone needs to upload their images nine hours ago or whenever they most recently were allowed to load and cache

here's the "enema of the state" nurse now. feel old yet?

it's simple. team usa fans are the same, morally, as cowboys fans

it’s important to understand that this and the broader state of affairs around it are a fully logical result of the trajectory of american anticommunism and the wider ideological groundwork set up to justify it. any objection you can raise has been drilled out of boomer/xer minds since childhood

I don't know who needs to hear this or what to tell them.

indoor heads thriving though. if you're out and about you're a lout. under a roof that's the truth

yaoi hands vance

that alex jones impression has got to tear tim heidecker's throat up. alex jones only sounded like that because of how many cigarettes bill hicks smoked

declaring myself antipope pius x-2 and becoming the first Gamer Pope

I bet putting a hat on a hat looks really cool sometimes

it's already too hot

the minions didn't work for hitler... on the surface. but deep underground they actually had an elaborate caste system bureaucracy that was in the service of, you guessed it, hitler. Read Vril

surprising everyone it's Possum (2018)

man... it's a hot one

john wick gave me a wildly unrealistic expectation of what this would look like. the vatican barely has any rockabilly babes working the phones

i love not gambling. every day i wake up and just don't gamble at all. any money i have at the beginning of the day i either keep or exchange for goods or services. if somebody says "hey do you want to get into some gambling" i say "hell no, brother. do i look like an idiot to you" it's fantastic

sympathy is a knife

RAY LIOTTA: as far back as i can remember i wanted to extract rent. all the extra bullshit about being a gangster just seemed unnecessary to me

His last words were "I am le tired"

fact check: depression isn't real

in a 5-4 decision the supreme court grudglingly acknowledges that you have to wash your ass

it's actually a complete coincidence unrelated to the presence or absence of sex scenes that every director is a pervert. that's just something a camera does to people

(geniusly) what if we erect waist-high barriers around the torment nexus

“If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?” no I would call you Crazy Superman

the thing about ketchup is that it's bad. it's no good

the democrats are less a political party than a jobs program for people who got into elite universities and then did nothing of distinction in them

The date is November 19th 2026, I have just bought Grand Theft Auto VI. It takes 8 days to download, I pee in a Gatorade bottle. It will be the greatest art humanity has ever created. I start the game. I see a fake electronics store called ‘Circuit Titty’. “They’ve done it” I think. I begin to weep.

lol vanilla ice got rained out. poor guy he was really looking forward to this

if one of my alone-in-the-dark style friends invited me by cryptic letter to his haunted manse only to be absent i would just leave and make a facebook status about how i cant stand flaky people

pathetic. cowardly. don't change horses in midstream. this only happened because they're still allowing our troops to eat cooked food

one thing you could do that would make it harder to primary you is your jobs

I agree with the democratic leadership, it does suck to do work and I do resent anyone who makes me do it

check out the griftkeeper

This might be a little extreme for some of you, but I think Rockstar should go all out in GTA6. It should have big guns and explosive rockets and also they should let you fuck an airplane

they couldnt even wait for the trade paperbacks?

new york times protest encampment for centrism

Darializa would have won by more if she didn't half-heartedly apologize for tweeting "Fuck Kamala Harris"

I've seen enough: I am gouging my eyes out

they should put trump's name back on the building just for this event