My sex addiction has gotten so bad. I've started sucking dick for sex.

[Sucking up to God] All things are beautiful. I love life.

I've never been able to get a straight answer on what iykyk means.

Bezos gets to choose on a whim to destroy the Washington Post, just as Thiel can destroy Gawker, Musk can ruin Twitter, Ellison can take over TikTok, etc. Millions of others' opposition counts for near nothing.

Every institution in the country is being hollowed out and smashed by billionaires sometimes for money and sometimes because they’re stupid. Seems a less than ideal way to organize a society!

I am a card-carrying member of the International Brotherhood of Magicians. Is THIS their card? I know I have it in here somewhere.

I can never predict which of the jokes I come up with will do well. Why can't I figure out the reaction ahead of time? My brain is as powerful as any audience member's.

I am a proud member in good standing of USWI Local 2865 (United Scab Workers International).

Oh, for Christ's sake. Well, isn't this just fucking great. At my new job, there's already a white guy named Sridhar, so now everyone refers to me as "Indian Sridhar".

Bezos gets to choose on a whim to destroy the Washington Post, just as Thiel can destroy Gawker, Musk can ruin Twitter, Ellison can take over TikTok, etc. Millions of others' opposition counts for near nothing.

Sorry. Im sorry. Im trying to un-remove it.

i feel like it's a bad sign when the people running this place don't seem to know how their moderation works when they're literally, definitionally the people in charge of setting and defining how the moderation works. like buddy this is your website, the fuck you mean you "dunno what happened"

They really said IDK ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bsky.app/profile/pfra...

Dril has been banned for doxxing Jeffrey Epstein.

Youth was goated, though I wouldn't have said so at the time, due to the slang of the era being different.

The Internet, our home, is beginning to look like an immense pile of filth.

"Four hours after his arrest, he was taken to a hospital emergency room in Edina with swelling and bruising around his right eye and bleeding. A CT scan revealed at least eight skull fractures and life-threatening hemorrhages in at least five areas of his brain..." apnews.com/article/immi...

I genuinely have no idea how to convey this to the American people, but I think the biggest impediment to any kind of immigration reform is that people are convinced that "legal" and "illegal" are immutable, intrinsic categories instead of a rapidly-shifting arbitrary constellation of regulations.

I'm the Sridhar Ramesh of something. I just don't know what yet.

I have one grey nosehair. I leave it be for that distinguished salt-and-pepper look.

The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.

Look, I'm doing my best. Or maybe I'm not. Well, alright, 70% of my best is the best I'm capable of. I'm doing my best to do my best.

every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”

Everyone anywhere near the levers of power is a morally bankrupt monster. But moral bankruptcy doesn't matter, if you are not financially bankrupt. There's nothing I can do about any of it except making ineffectual jokes, so I will continue doing that.

Ugh. Everyone's talking about Epstein. I wish they were talking about me.

I still think the worst thing Elon Musk ever did was managing Twitter. But it's close.

I need endless validation. It's a disease. It's better than cancer or rickets, though. Perhaps the best disease, don't you think?

My jokes are timeless, in that I lack fluency with the first rule of comedy, timing.

After Jared's proclivities came out, Subway should have pivoted to a creperie.

Elon Musk has had thirteen children and still wants more. He is a true pedophile.

my computer should not be worth more now than it was when i got it

Let's not jump to conclusions. Some of these emails are pretty old. Elon Musk may have been going to the island as a child.

"Do you feel good about yourself? Are you happy with your life?". No, and no. Are these supposed to be gotcha questions? They're super easy.

Everything looks like a nail, and I don't even have a hammer. All I've got is this absurdly long nail with two sturdy nails sticking out perpendicularly fro— oh. Oh, I see what's going on here.

[When "Sridhar Ramesh (@‌RadishHarmers)" is discovered in the Epstein files] It's actually a rather common name in India.

Apparently, 😢 is "Crying Face" while 😥 is officially "Sad but Relieved Face". I am disheartened to realize in this way, from my failure to perceive on my own this distinction, that I am autistic. 😥

The New York Times house style is to refer to all individuals by their last name, unless it is Ramesh.

Sorry, guys. My boss says I'm not allowed to do a general strike.

STEP 1 Work hard to achieve my goals. STEP 0 Figure out what to do to achieve my goals. STEP -1 Figure out what my goals should be. STEP -2 Establish sound methodology to interpret and resolve deontic questions. STEP -8 How is it that some things are, while others fail to be?

STEP 1 Work hard to achieve my goals. STEP 0 Figure out what to do to achieve my goals. STEP -1 Figure out what my goals should be. STEP -2 Establish sound methodology to interpret and resolve deontic questions. STEP -8 How is it that some things are, while others fail to be?

The sheer scale of a billion dollars can be hard to understand. Let me put it in perspective for you. You would have to earn a dollar a day for a billion days straight to have that much money.

I hope someday to have my formative experiences.

Everything looks like a nail, and I don't even have a hammer. All I've got is this absurdly long nail with two sturdy nails sticking out perpendicularly fro— oh. Oh, I see what's going on here.

The thing everyone keeps saying they want, which was Bluesky's entire early pitch, was that *no one else has their thumb on the scale* of what you see, when, and how. Build options for people to turn filtering and muting on, fine. Don't force your softboi crybaby social media preferences on me.

God, I wish I never became the victor. Now I have all this fucking history to write.

I'm spending too much time on my phone. It's turning me into a conspiracy theorist and borderline schizophrenic. I believe I am receiving coded messages through vibrations in the air caused by electrical devices.

I'm so narcissistic. I'm floored with shock when I win the lottery, but hardly surprised when anyone else does.

Preliminary job interview. A knife is silently placed in front of me. My god. This is how it works? After some hesitation, making peace with how badly I need this job, I grab the knife and attack. "What the hell??", my interviewer says in shock, knife in chest. Our food arrives.