Just set the microwave timer to 2 minutes and 60 seconds. Never let 'em know how you're moving

Heated Rivalry needs a sort of comic relief character who talks like this

New Knives Out movie answers the burning question: What if the Catholic Church were stocked entirely with Protestants?

They tell you bears are dangerous and not to go near them, but that's just propaganda from losers who want bear friends all to themselves

Remembering the reason for the season

Merriam-Webster’s human editors have chosen ‘slop’ as the 2025 Word of the Year.

my third wish would be for one more wish

Seems like I got a virus on my computer that makes my face in the zoom window look 5-10% uglier and weirder

“Gay son or thot daughter” - the only fiscally responsible reproductive choices in the modern economy

D20 shaping up to be J6 for gay nerds (complimentary)

This is my MCU

Young people have no idea what it was like when this show was coming out. Forums absolutely buzzing on Thursday nights coming up with fan theories of what shit the dad was gonna say next week. We lost that when Netflix started dropping whole seasons in one day

Went on autopilot in a conversation with my barista earlier and realized all too late that I had spent the past 3 minutes describing Dwarf Fortress to her

Nothing hits like blasting Morgan Wallen while you sit on your shower toilet and pretend you're rain-poopin' like in a music video

Most accurate post about Trump remains that Reddit post that was like “Stupid Americans are the new Irish Americans and Trump is their JFK”

Playing FFX right now and every time Wakka is racist, I send his underleveled ass out to get oneshot by a random mob so I can teach Tidus not to copy that kind of behavior

Ballad of a sub-par reply guy. Hits me real close to home

Love when people try to argue that Avatar had no cultural impact when it’s the only reason anyone has ever said the phrase “cultural impact”

Incredible events are occurring.

YouTube Wrapped You spent 2,186 minutes watching: Donald Duck Eating Corn On The Cob (ASMR) We believe your reason for watching this was: Not Sexual

Apoplectic at the categorization of Bo Jackson as a "guy" @remembersomeguys.bsky.social you are CANCELED

“Are Mormons more Christian than Catholics” - the greatest thread in the history of Baptist forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate

That Oklahoma nimrod’s other professors can do the funniest thing and fail her in her other classes

If somebody pays me $140, I will unmute this video

Everyone is getting upset about the data centers. They pollute a lot and use a lot of energy and will eventually be very ugly/huge vacant buildings. And I understand being mad about that. Until you consider the state of the lazer tag industry at this moment, and how much help that sector needs.

A lot of people’s perception of musical theater is based on their high school’s production of Guys & Dolls but if you give a grown up musical a chance you see that yeah basically it’s still just that

i want you to put the word out there that we back up

Watching Physical 100 with my cat and telling him “I can do that” whenever one of the building-sized humans lifts a car over his head

Big day for fixins, kid

Today I’m thankful for everyone who doesn’t feel compelled to tell me which traditional Thanksgiving foods are Bad, Actually

Type shit the team pulls in the first 15 minutes of a heist movie to grab the audience’s attention

Zillennial wife: The way it hurts! The way it hurts so much! Zillennial husband: The way it’s just one more push! The way you’re almost there! Zillennial doctor: The way it’s a boy!

They’re calling her Emin-Em Dash

Fellas like Sluggo n me … we’re on some shit you could never be on

Movies used to have Rachel McAdams in them

Imagine thinking you bought a ticket to a boring ass regular season NBA game and then fucking Old Edition brings the house down at halftime

YOU GUYS WANNA SEE SOMETHING CURSED???? HOW ABOUT NEON GENESIS LEHIGH VALLEY PHANTOMS HOCKEY?????

Typing “missing woman New England” into The Search Engine, looking at the first page of results, hitting back, and correcting the query to this

Schwap

The way they’re sharing a look to say “doesn’t he already have three of these awards”

New York Times reporter watching All The President’s Men and yelling at the screen about how unfairly Nixon is being treated

Werner Herzog 20 minutes into a lighthearted interview:

Why can’t any of these rich perverts type normally? Email inboxes looking like a Rupi Kaur book

whatever happens at the back of the fridge, especially on the middle shelf, is frankly none of my business

We're gonna throw a parade on Broad for the Pho75 star

Bro I'm fucking crying.

Weather app: 35 degrees (Feels like 22) Me, a genius, stepping outside: "Heh. It feels like it's 35 degrees and windy. Sorry I didn't fall for your little tricks."