Excited for the Men's USWNT

With the success of the latest creepypasta movie, I think it's about time I shop my BEN DROWNED screenplay to studios again

This is nothing short of child abuse. No kid should have to interface with the Welsh language

someone has to get pattinson to do the whole let me get a slice of that pizza bit on the press tour right like we need that. as a people

New Witcher DLC is a tragedy because I had finally gotten to the point where I didn't have to hear people pretend it was the best game ever every other day.

Every single one of this guy's posts is great, but sometimes he glimpses the face of God and hits you with the Memento Score-i

Watching Grasshopper Republic, a film shot entirely in Uganda, my favorite neighborhood of Greater Philadelphia

Sister-in-law is asking a bunch of family members to send an email a year to an inbox that she’ll give to her son on his 18th bday, and I can’t wait to see how bummed she is when an 18-year-old boy isn’t excited about 1,000 mawkish unread emails from relatives he barely knows

Video so dope, I almost liked a hatepost

Cool thing about reading a 600-page book at the coffee shop over a couple weeks is that when you get to the last 100 or so pages, you find out how many strangers/regulars have become invested in you finishing the 600-page book and starting a new one

Gonna hit this move during my next on-camera zoom meeting and get promoted on the spot

"Movie" - Normal person "Film" - Person who vaguely knows what A24 is "Cinema" - Person trying to convince you the Dreamworks movie is for grown ups "Flick" - ULTRAPERVERT DO NOT ENGAGE

Explaining to the cop that I'm driving home to drink some reverse tachyon beers in the future and that's why I'm blowing a .12 at this traffic stop in the present

Life partner unveils most insane dishwasher packing strategy yet

Fundamentally all of Christopher Nolan’s movies are about the fantasies of an MBA father of two daughters who goes to the gym six days a week and the predetermined reaction to them is a dipstick of where we’re at as a culture towards that kind of guy in that moment

You can tell how loyal the movie was to the Stephen King book it’s based on by how dog ass the ending is

Problem with wearing a graphic tee is finding out all the people who dig the reference on it are huge dweebs and having to ask yourself a tough question

type shit

The phrase "balls to the wall" upsets me. Imagine the escalating series of bad decisions necessary for your balls to come in contact with a wall. Nuh-uh, not for me.

Pretty crazy that two of the most famous cartoon characters of all time are “short-tempered duck with a speech impediment”

Dog that is not her middle name

You won’t be watching the Legally Blonde prequel series because it breaks the continuity of the movies. I won’t be watching it because it’s amazon prime shovelware. We are not the same.

Add him to the Philly news interview pantheon

Let’s mount up @stefanielaine.bsky.social @makeshermark.bsky.social

Bard whose magical performance art is podcasting that casts Vicious Mockery by pop psychoanalyzing his enemy

Some dirtbag is getting the doctor to stitch Cam York’s initials into his forehead after he split his head wide open from 15 rows away with the stick he used to end the Penguins’ season, and it should’ve been me

laura dern come mange the phillies

lol the shooter has a BLUE SKY ACCOUNT, well here’s one excuse that won’t work:

I'm crying, this is so funny, he has absolutely no idea.

That's right

Cool thing about the NFL draft and the Penguins season is that they both end on Saturday

Every crew got the: - Guy named Travis - Russian guy who barely speaks English - Guy who just signed a $25 mil contract - Another guy named Travis - Ginger guy

Watching my dopey cat try to track down a mouse has given me a great deal of sympathy to Tom and contempt for the vile and impish Jerry

Bluesky moment

*with tears in my eyes* Stop it! You’re hurting him!

Want them to do all the same weird press junket inteviews they did for Wicked but with De Niro acting like Cynthia Erivo

that's two pieces, you fucking idiot

Worried that American pop culture might only be able to sustain 3 or 4 more Insurance Commercial Extended Universes before total collapse

People clowning on the NorthernLion cruise but when somebody kills Librarian, Dan Gheesling’s 45 minute monologue about how he solved the murder is gonna be the spectator event of the century

Gotye should do a concert where he plays every song except that one

The way he immediately nods in agreement after getting caught over his skis by her is so telling. They will be married for sixty years and die within a week of each other

Said “I guess I’ll just kill myself then” when my cat rebuffed my attempt to pet him then realized with horror I’d become my mother

We’re making Space Philadelphia. We’re making it so you can put Old Bay on french fries in low Earth orbit

happy easter

doing a “husband’s run” (early morning grocery run for a missing breakfast item, because i get to wander the store and get whatever else i want) but committing the “husband’s folly” (forgetting the one item i was asked to get, eggs)

Separating the art from the artist so I can look up old clips from Making The Band on youtube

We woulda had this Iran shit wrapped up by now if we had control of the strategic lynchpin that is Greenland