had a blast recording this, talking about everything from beaning the same kid twice in one inning as a high school pitcher to all the ways sportsbrain still influences my life since my spinal cord injury

they asked me to be the ceo of disney but i said no (too busy)

NEW: JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE is not dead. Up now at @vulture.com www.vulture.com/article/jimm...

I know we all subscribe to too many things but this one is worth the price of admission trust me

"hey, yeah, i need to reschedule my dinner reservation... friday night, it's under 'brian'... right, party of three... do you have anything tonight, actually?... right... right... yeah, because of the rapture... okay, great... yup, see you at 6:30"

This is...incredible?????

had a blast recording this, talking about everything from beaning the same kid twice in one inning as a high school pitcher to all the ways sportsbrain still influences my life since my spinal cord injury

WE DID, IT WAS CALLED “HOLEY MOLEY,” WE NEVER APPRECIATED IT ENOUGH AND NOW IT’S GONE

lord i was shouting

freakin go birds

Love that the Eagles offensive coordinator is either someone who will be a successful head coach in a year or Blurpo Borpo, a guy who led Holy Cross to the 4th best attack in the Patriot League in 2021

i love to blog about the important issues of the day type-click-type.ghost.io/the-five-spo...

honestly just an A+ photo choice here

We see you, Kornheiser...

THIS WEEK IN THE FIVE SPOT -- Sabrina Carpenter is doing Muppet things -- the South Park guys have never been more relatable -- scuba crime AND MORE type-click-type.ghost.io/the-five-spo...

can't get fired if you don't have a job

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

yes hello

The Joker

the nice thing about having my own newsletter is that there's no one to stop me from being this stupid type-click-type.ghost.io/how-i-would-...

thank you to @vulture.com for allowing me to write about two of my favorite things: Tim Meadows and fajitas www.vulture.com/article/tim-...

look not to go all Wheelchair Guy about it but if the powerful people who spend all day whining about how people are mean to them ever faced a single droplet of actual adversity I truly believe they would crumble into a pile of dust and blow away in the next soft breeze

she is 100 percent going to flirt with kermit and piggy is going to throw a vase against the wall

i believe i had this

the nice thing about having my own newsletter is that there's no one to stop me from being this stupid type-click-type.ghost.io/how-i-would-...

Folks are having critically important discourse in the fantasy football Reddit

if the phillies and dodgers play a third game like this that ends at 1am i am going to need prescription-strength amphetamines to get through the day tomorrow

thank you to @vulture.com for allowing me to write about two of my favorite things: Tim Meadows and fajitas www.vulture.com/article/tim-...

only one way to settle this argument: line up mike greenberg across from jordan mailata and snap the ball

if you have infinite monkeys typing on infinite typewriters one of them will eventually produce the entire works of shakespeare. but you don't have that kind of start up capital. start with 10 monkeys writing steven king's Christine. soon you'll be turning a profit and can start scaling your monkeys

mark ruffalo's guy on hbo's TASK should be named "rick task"

two notes on Robert Redford: — The Sting rules and i think everyone should watch it a lot — whenever i pass away, i would very much like everyone to spend the whole day talking about how talented and handsome i was, too

pleased to report — exclusive, must credit brian — that the philadelphia phillies have clinched a second straight division title

i’ve seen a lot of stupid decisions by a lot of stupid media companies over the years, but this one takes the cake subscribe to Alan’s blog

REPORTER: [at the scene of a murder]: … and an eyewitness says the victim’s last words were … [reading from sheet of paper] … “please, for the love of god, do not let anyone make a true crime series about me”

My 11yo daughter just walked in the room, looked at the tv, and said "is that a meme." I get she's new to internet culture but no. That is Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant smoking crack. It would be a fire meme tho

i assumed the gold shark photo was fake but apparently the gold shark is real www.yahoo.com/news/article...

logging off for the weekend there will be no posts here are some pictures of guy fieri playing flag football

THIS WEEK IN THE FIVE SPOT -- another entry in Former Mad Men Castmembers Take Sideways Shots At Matthew Weiner -- the artistic merits of sending Ludacris and Tyrese to space -- bees AND MORE type-click-type.ghost.io/the-five-spo...

go birds

if you go to the same doctor i do and you heard someone absolutely blasting End Of The Road by Boyz II Men while driving around the parking garage yesterday, please know that i do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else

every day i log on and see some new bozo has hijacked the discourse

i understand that our attention is divided as a nation but i do need everyone to know that henry winkler is on a fishing trip

Once again thinking about Macaulay Culkin walking into the Parisian café where the wifi password was “Macaulay Culkin” and the owner saying “I knew you’d come here someday”