Cooked them both, my mario kart game was forged in the fires of fraternity hazing, you drive to survive

Just officially met the woman who’s been my next door neighbor for a year. She’s a 25 year old 2L at Cumberland. Her: I thought you were some crypto republican Me: I met your fiancée. He’s military. I figured you were a republican. She wants to get into cyber law. Told her to read @masnick.com.

*yelling “Yes, Coach!” and performing the perfect form tackle on an elderly political leader in ill health.*

when you need to activate any millennial’s manchurian programming

Consultants still missing the message. The Dem voters who can/potentially will give you money right now want to hear one thing and one thing only: how you will punish republicans for their crimes and corruption. They want a goddamn reckoning.

An entire generation of dipshits who grew up in the suburbs and thought Gordon Gekko was wrongfully persecuted.

As a linen whore, I will not fuck with linen pants that don’t have belt loops to go with the drawstring. Just discovered my favorite linen pant company that provided belt loops with a drawstring has apparently gone under because they have no products listed on their site. bensonapparel.com

hell yeah fun delivery just came

I laughed

Begging the consultant class to go to one No Kings protest and realize these are the people who both vote in primaries and also command local fundraising efforts

Um, forgive my impudence, but Holy Week is supposed to be a solemn observance of the trials and tribulations of Christ, not a celebration of his resurrection, right? Have any of these people ever been to a Maundy Thursday service?

19 Dem senators voted to confirm this lunatic

excited to see where this goes

Wall Street amazed when mom put her thumb between her fingers and claimed she got their nose

Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas listening to oral arguments regarding birthright citizenship

Who needs a Lucy picture on a Monday morning?

this is so good

there are a few accounts that just never miss. The menswear guy is one. This is another.

My favorite Barkley fact is that for two decades the republican machine in Alabama would plant a story he was considering running for governor to drum up interest and then when they approached him he’d just say “y’all can’t afford me. I make $20 million a year to be on tv.”

LMAOOO we love to see it

Found it. Goddamn this is racist.

Seeing these in the Lisbon airport triggered the millennial in me. They withdrew from American retail stores years ago but apparently you can still get them through online retailers

Signed up a few years ago for early access to the International Scout EV. Might as well sign up for this too. www.slate.auto/en/reserve/

Someone or some group has been going around downtown Birmingham the last couple of weeks putting tutus on all the statues

CBS announcer, with a positive inflection: “he has a tattoo of Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker. He says he’s always felt misunderstood and like a villain.”

This article is 10 days old. Your party has literally had a week and a half to bring this up on the news shows and make it an issue.

a more salient question: why are you looking for normal responses on twitter?

As a baseball fan of many years, I’ve never seen anything like this before. I love it. Normalize giving your fellow humans hugs.

Underrated choice for a modern Shakespearean adaptation: Stanley Tucci as Puck and Sam Rockwell as Flute in an otherwise very forgettable version of Midsummer Night’s Dream

You will not read a dumber post today. (Easy to guess what book series they’re talking about)

This is correct. It should cost more.

lmao of course this clown teaches at ASSLaw (the author not OP)

Foodbar in Cahaba Heights doesn’t get enough credit for being consistently outstanding.

I need to point out that this guy running in the republican primary for AL House District 48 is 39 years old.

Republican running for Alabama’s AG has a new ad where he says “I’ll allahu akbar your butt back to the Middle East because this is a Christian nation” and sometimes I really hate it here.

Passed a house in mtn brook with a flag out front that just said “This Sucks.” Simple, succinct, I love it.

Went to this little local market because I heard they had good frozen take-home meals and first thing I noticed was a couple bottle of Trump wine prominently displayed. We left without buying anything and I let the owner know why.

I remember this dude. He’s a dumbass.

why yes instagram i would like to dress like the 5th in command at a Colombian cocaine farm (that shirt is pretty awesome)

I love that this man has become a living legend for an entirely new generation

💀

well then.

well roll tide to that

Talking to a 34 year old and she asked me what Flava Flav dod before his reality show?” “You’re too young for me.”

Ignore the early 3s, Philon has got to hit his shots for us to have a chance in this game

I have always liked my Michigan friends in my phone. Please put us away quickly, don’t prolong the torture.

When you’re rooting for the elite eight but not for Nate oats

One of the lady friends said the Van Gogh Church at Auvers print that I got at the Musée D’Orsay gives bad vibes so it has been replaced with positive vibes.

Frames came in and hell yeah these look great