not a bad porch pic

Logs into Disney+ So James Cameron thought we needed another 3 1/2 hours of space smurfs Presses play because fuck it show me some beautifully rendered and also problematic white savior slop. Please let it be more fun than the second one

This story has been bonkers to follow. There were a few dozen folks lined up w/ signs on lakeshore parkway yesterday in protest. Hundreds have been at the city council meetings voicing their objections. The mayor is trying his damnedst to distance his office from any blame www.al.com/news/birming...

dude’s always been dogshit, we just left him get so wealthy he’d never see accountability

Me: hi Ruby Lucy: bitch that’s my man

pastor’s feeling the holy spirit on this Sunday and I’m nodding along with occasional amens

Today in “stuff found in old books”:

12 year old niece without a hint of irony: “I took a test online that told me I was allergic to grass” Me to my sister: you should take her phone away right now and send her outside

taking a stack of clothes and books to goodwill and to this day I have no idea why this arrived at my house addressed to me when I was a junior in high school but when I tell y’all my mother was unamused that’s an understatement

Sturgill Simpson doing Whiter Shade of Pale on the national mall on July 4th weekend would have absolutely ripped

😳 oh she fell for a triflin’ ass married man

so I guess this is a pretty dumb question but how do you dispose of a credit card that’s metal? Can’t cut those up with kitchen shears.

why are people like this

I’m working on a theory where chuds like Miller, Vance, and Hegseth grew up in homes where neither of their parents could cook. No kitchen skills in the home explains a lot about white eldermillennials being constantly mad at everything.

immediate swipe right

It’s very funny that Lalas is on the Tim Brando career track. Hated by his coworkers, relegated to menial responsibilities because they don’t want to break his contract and pay him out all at once

i may die from laughter like the weasels in roger rabbit

well that’s just delightful

“We’ve seen debutantes go through” Alexi stop being so goddamn weird challenge impossible

I’m texting my Colombian and Portuguese coworkers separately and HR would have a field day with these chats

I block because I want them to know I acknowledged their existence and deemed it unworthy of viewing my timeline. I am a petty bitch.

let the band play neck and fly an eagle onto the the pitch pregame and you have no clue what sort of voodoo you’ll conjure. That’s a chaos roll.

unmnt comes out to enter sandman when

gotta tap the sign again you put aggressive or weird vibes in my mentions or quotes and you’re yeeted

My opinion is that the correct development of American soccer culture is to evolve it from college sports culture and let it take whatever form it may

Europeans rightly criticize our soccer culture for a lack of chants or songs but I’m 100% adopting neck as our anthem

neighbor who had a Take America Back flag in 2024 now has an Argentina flag up and buddy I know where your grandfather was from

Was married once. Very quick to note that his mom lives with him and not the other way around. Leaves in a work truck every morning, but nobody is really sure what he does.

I'm sorry, there's no way this man was a junior in college. This dude is, at minimum, an alderman

just discovered that in 1985 Penn State fielded a team of 40 year old used car salesmen

insta algo got me again

this asshole just farted on the couch and it smelled so bad she woke herself up and then left the room, she’s a monster

fun build, will display it during Halloween season

lol listening to Thierry talk about AFCON in a thoughtful manner and thinking about what a stupid ass answer Lalas would give to that question.

Mid year eval: Best film: Project Hail Mary Best show: Hacks (nailed the finale) Best album: Cat out of Hell - Fantastic Cat Best book: haven’t read anything actually published this year Best piece: it’s this www.vanityfair.com/story/the-ne... Honorable mention: watch this youtu.be/Oj0PsaP2ZqQ?...

My niece found my dad’s rolodex from the 80s and bruh had the fucking grocery store in there

oh is that right

My mother’s been in Belize, Honduras, Mexico, and Guatemala the last week on a cruise and asked if I could get her dog and cat from the boarders this afternoon. Y’all I love visiting the cat sanctuary Buddy goes to. It’s seriously nirvana for cats.

gotta give a shout out to the bissell pet pro, my upstairs carpets are clean as fuck now no thanks to Lucy’s petty ass. Bitch I won, find another avenue to pitch a tantrum.

it’s so rare that shitty unapologetic people who’ve been given special treatment get what they deserve but we can enjoy this one

so maybe the vet overprescribed and we give her half a trazodone on July 4th

happy sun dog

She slept for 16 hours lmao

If any one of you is committed to reading all my posts you should actually be committed.

Y’all wanna see @anthropologal.bsky.social murder a man who was crashing out because he couldn’t understand how someone could follow more than 89 people?

gave her a doggy trazodone before the fireworks started and she’s been completely zooted for 4 hours

god I hope this pathetic woman gets primaried in 2030

Guess I’m an old because that looks miserable