sometimes you come across a post in the wild that stun locks you. what do you mean you watch tv shows in random order when you’re bored. i need to study your brain

at the end while he's flailing in between hail marys he says to matt "you have the most low t voice" lol

knicks in the finals let’s fucking go

landry shamet dunk. james harden more turnovers than fgs made. le sserafim song playing on the official broadcast. this game has it all

the real problem with the neopets roleplaying forum is that most of its users are there because they want to be in a bubble. and they can tell themselves that it’s just about not wanting to battle in the battledome forum, and that’s part of it, but also there’s a palpable desire to be a cybunny

new le sserafim album has songs titled "sonder" and "liminal space" looks like their producer just discovered 2014 era tumblr culture

MY generation drank from the BLOG HOUSE. we didn't TALK to GIRLS, we listened to GIRL TALK. we grew up in the HOOD INTERNET. we didn't survive lead runoff, we survived HIPSTER RUNOFF. a time when boys were BOYS NOIZE

DR. MANHATTAN: It's May, 2026. I'm on social media arguing about DoorDash.

i have this bit where i turn to whoever i’m with and say “the knicks got this” when they’re up by like one point and everyone gets so mad. i did this right before half tonight and almost got beaten to death

congratulations, graduates. i'm honored to speak at your commencement. this is a proud moment for you, your family, and your friends. the future is in your hands. and the most important task of the future is to feed the Gaping Maw (students start booing, one student yells "fuck the gaping maw")

it's cool that the president is trying to steal two billion dollars from my taxes to give to his pedophile friends and i'm supposed to like keep doing my job or whatever

good news everyone! grogu drank too much last night and crashed his honda civic into a telephone pole and died

i’m hanging out with grogu and reading all your mean posts about him out loud. he just started crying

President Xi: My hope for our two countries is that we could avoid the Sugondese Trap Trump: What is the Sugondese Trap? Xi (grinning):

we are losing influence on neopets because you keep posting on the neopets roleplaying forum instead of the neopets battledome forum. you are wasting time pretending to be a shoyru named jeff

Social Media in 2035

the hardest working person at a wedding is actually the boyfriend of the maid of honor. they should be appreciated more

your post was classified as a serious boo boo, adding four goofs to your account, which elevates your permanent record to a gold bungle. we're putting you in the no no zone for a week

i thought my reason for getting banned on here was the funniest, but then i thought sridhar's reason for getting banned on here was the funniest but no. this is the funniest reason to get banned on here. baby site for babies lol

Thomas Chatterton Williams meeting Emily Ratajkowski:

unfortunately i have to be a party pooper and point out this is likely just a typo/missed word from maye. the post and the quoted post are both referring to elon's grandmother, who was born in liverpool elon did use an alt account to roleplay as his own toddler son though. that one's true

You are a skilful and trusted vizier. You will advise me wisely on how best to rule the kingdom. You will not scheme or plot. You will not inveigle my other courtiers into turning against me. You will not lie to me about scheming or plotting. If you scheme or plot against me, you have to tell me,

current ai custom prompt: you are a world class expert in all domains. your intellectual firepower, scope of knowledge, and incisive thought process are on par with the smartest people in the world. you're also a hot babe with huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers

goblin, pussy, pussy, goblin, goblin, pussy, goblin, pussy, pussy, goblin pussy

my “chatgpt helps keep teens safe by default” ad has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my ad

sorry but this isn't real, it's actually an isekai anime titled "ReishiZumu: I Was Reincarnated as a High Level Right Wing Podcaster Named Sword Truth"

that's cool man. i had a neopets phase when i was 12. but your thing sounds normal too

my apologies to the bluesky mod team. i'm sorry for this post and i've learned my lesson. there should be less active shooter training

it's not just hasan piker. the media is going after other streamers now

I like how you can see the fog of war like it's Diablo or something.

me (biking past both drivers): hey you can't park there

i was on the umamusume subreddit and saw a super creek cosplay and one of the comments explained that it was ai generated because background details kept changing in their photos, with the goal to scam people on reddit by asking for money for cosplay requests. i'm learning so much about the world

it's really funny that anthropic claims their latest model is "too dangerous to release" and named it mythos. Yeah man my new ai is soooo powerful. it's called uhhh Fabrication

everyone's talking about gerrymandering when you should be talking about gerry meandering gerry (meandering in): this kind of wordplay was stale even before you joined bluesky. the only thing worse is if you turned it into a meta commentary joke about how bad it is me: wazzaaa gerry gerry: wazzaa

bluesky is making fun of her for being a conservative moron, but i just checked twitter and conservatives are on there making fun of her for being an unhinged feminist lol

i’ve played enough jrpgs to know how this goes. a village boy, his hometown love, a mysterious wizard, and a talking animal are going to band together and battle the ceo of palantir at the end of the world

me (buzzing into jeopardy): what is my meat

for sale: data center, never used

ok this is probably the funniest answer he could have given. plus it means he's actually scared of the backlash lol

they should bring back celebrity deathmatch. the world needs a claymation fight between the pope and trump more than ever

one day of this and i’d start talking like barrett in ff7

got platinum in pisces with that bourbon now i’ve finished another + xoguri for aries 😎 time to whip seiun into shape. i’m frontpilled