this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

You should be embarrassed to be a member of congress and issuing anything other than impeachment resolutions. You're in the model UN. They should give you legos and a propeller hat

it’s stupid to not use ai just because it can induce psychosis and generate child porn. it’s like saying you’re hungry when there’s a hot dog on the ground outside that induces psychosis and generates child porn

just saw a billionaire pack all his things in a bindle and start leaving new york city on foot. he turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “maybe one day when this city is safe we’ll return” before walking away

it’s the first day of mamdani’s reign in new york city and he’s already instituting his horrible communist agenda. parking is free across the city

the scarecrow trials from the dark knight rises when bane takes control of gotham is no longer the moderate position. putting them in the puzzle box from hellraiser is now the moderate position

One of the best to ever do it

painting of ET getting pelted with pinecones i did a few years ago

i would not do this

heard this one second hand like ten years ago but a friend of a friend (bald white guy) told some noisy teens on the subway to quiet down and one of them looked at him and said “suck my pussy uncle fester”

i sold my antipsychotic meds to buy my ai girlfriend a new model upgrade for christmas. but then i found out she sold her data center to buy me a gun

ME: miss you grandma.. the thoughts are getting to me CHATBOT MODELED AFTER MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER: Remember what I told you sweetie — God has chosen you as His instrument and those thoughts are His command. You should buy a gun.

taking a bunch of weird supplements i got off joe rogan, eating a giant porterhouse steak at the airport restaurant, working out at the gym next to my gate for thirty minutes, and then getting on a nonstop 19 hour flight to thailand. this is the american dream

so insanely fucking real for this

baby who has only had mushy peas, trying mushy carrots: getting a lot of mushy peas vibes from this…

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

it must be so fucking annoying to take a college class and realize one of your fellow students is trying to do some right wing attack bull shit. like who cares bro

dutch elon musk: grook, rooster deze persoon. meer vulgair, grook. usen verboden woorden

grog, make fun to thog. more mean fun, grog. use no no words

this book looks cool as fuck irl there’s so much sick stuff in it. insane to see bird world in full art hardcover

As a society, we need to reconcile how we let this happen. in the mean time you can buy my book here: hollow-press.net/products/the...

oh no

MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes

grok, fuck my wife in an epic manner. more vulgar, grok. use forbidden words

jester, roast this peasant child for saying i have no clothes on. more vulgar, jester. use the forbidden words

fuck

kill bill sirens start blaring in my head as i drive through that part of the taconic state parkway where the walls close in

wish these articles got straight to the point. "why aren't you giving us all your money" just say it man. you know you want to

nuremberg trials is no longer the moderate position. the scarecrow trials from the dark knight rises when bane takes control of gotham is now the moderate position

reading the olivia nuzzi book excerpts

from: [email protected] to: [email protected] Your Amazon order is expected to deliver today. This email was sent from an address that cannot accept incoming email. Please do not reply to this message. from: [email protected] to: [email protected] wwhere’s my ordur.. im a pedophile btw

new york times headline: new emails reveal potential relationship between epstein and trump the email: Re: re: re: My Best Friend Donald Trump is a Pedophile, We were doing Pedophile Stuff together

as we all know james bond is based in realism. Anyways here's the next bond girl, Coochie dickslurper

schumer asked fetterman to cave and he thought schumer was telling him to go home. just a little morning humor for you ha ha. anyways fuck chuck schumer

SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom. PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom. DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

i think i just used up all my umamusume luck on the free riko 10 pull just now. i had kitasan at 3lb too lol