ok this is probably the funniest answer he could have given. plus it means he's actually scared of the backlash lol

they should bring back celebrity deathmatch. the world needs a claymation fight between the pope and trump more than ever

one day of this and i’d start talking like barrett in ff7

got platinum in pisces with that bourbon now i’ve finished another + xoguri for aries 😎 time to whip seiun into shape. i’m frontpilled

yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization

JOURNALIST (wearing a subtle but defiant pin on his suit): Good evening, Mr. President TRUMP (visibly decaying): whhat th hell did that little waiter just say to me

doing a “husband’s run” (early morning grocery run for a missing breakfast item, because i get to wander the store and get whatever else i want) but committing the “husband’s folly” (forgetting the one item i was asked to get, eggs)

probably when we found out goblins were posting among us the whole time, we just never noticed

Hey did everyone see Clavicular get his ass beat after he challenged a cancer survivor leftist to a jujitsu match, who said as he was choking him out ‘this is for all the bullshit I gotta watch on my fucking feed’… we need more of this not more podcasts

dropped one of the end closers for a last minute v bourbon based on someone’s tip. she’s crushing it

when you guys post about baseball i assume that's what it feels like when you read my posts about umamusume. anyways i've been training 3 end closers for the next champions meeting. not sure if it's a good strat, i'm hitting 1200/1200/1200/500/700 stats in mant but spurt + long apt rng is killing me

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lmao

you know that thing when you're walking on the sidewalk and someone's coming the other way and you go right and they go right so then you go left and they go left and you're like damn we're stupid as fuck. do you think that ever happened to cavemen

ipad baby president

we need to take back loafing around and milling about from law enforcement. i should be allowed to wander around the office and do nothing in particular every once in a while

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier

went out for sushi last night and this guy at the table next to us tried to order milk. when the waiter said they don’t have any he replied “but i’m based” and everyone kind of ignored him

i bet it all on "will the strait of hormuz open by april" on polymarket. desperate, i launch a solo mission to open the strait. piloting a boat down the persian gulf, i immediately get blown up by a mine and die. "first person to get blown up by a mine in the strait of hormuz" pays out on march 31st

me and the other scheming viziers are wearing shoes gifted to us by the king that are way too big. we look ridiculous. the whole court is laughing at us behind our backs. honestly this is a pretty low point for us, the scheming viziers

SIGMA baby Binky Boy got BLANKIE mogged by Gerbicular right before NAP TIME, losing massive AURA and causing him to drop in the TOP BABY ranks. Fans are left wondering if he'll cry for MOMMY or reclaim DAYCARE LEADER status

TERA CHAD Clavicular has been MOGGED by Iranian missile strikes in DUBAI, leaving him DEAD and AURALESS... only to be reborn as an anime horse girl?? watch "Umamusume: Pretty Derby – Lead the Charge Kurabikyura-kun!!!" on Crunchyroll today

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to bomb this elementary school full of kids because he thinks it makes him look cool. also his scheming viziers will be betting money on it for fun. good luck soldier

the IT guy came by our desks and said we need to upgrade our computers to windows 11

he killed the chatter with that last line

there's a new trend among young people called "microliving" they close their eyes for a few seconds and experience a rich and fulfilling life from start to finish in their minds. birth. friendship. love. heartbreak. joy. loss. grief. death. but how does this affect their productivity at work

my latest project, using ai to build hyperlocal prediction markets, has just received $1000000000 in funding. now you can bet on what your coworker jeff will have for lunch. i don't see any problems with this business model

was playing video games tonight. did not hear any car horns, fireworks, cheering, etc outside so i know it didn’t happen. maybe next time. maybe soon

CHAD SOPHIST Polus has FALLEN in the rankings after being THOUGHT MOGGED by THINKMAXXER Socrates, who argues it is better to suffer an injustice than to commit one, causing Polus to CRASH OUT in front of the Athenian orators

i've made a new comic called "TOY STORY II: a sequel to Toy Story".

me (posting on the neopets role playing forum): it’s actually funny how this has become such an unserious space for neopians. it’s losing neopoints, will never be relevant, and is seen as a joke among the neopets battledome forum

new pannenkoek just dropped. love my hyperfixation king. so much work must go into these, even the outro could be its own video

the computer should have never left this room. we have to go back

the left needs to seriously engage with umamusume: pretty derby. if you don't plan out which support card banners to pull for the next year, you'll struggle to be competitive during future scenarios and champions meetings

my cat every day at 4 pm

it’s so cool that the tech world is driving themselves miserable and insane to build apps

reading about the effects of cutting USAID. i think a painting of elon musk should be hung in public for everyone to see. a painting of elon musk should be put up against a wall and shot with a nice camera

kristi noem won't see your mean tweets, but your friends who need blankies when mommy isn't around will see them

It took me months, about 495 rides, recovering from a shattered right foot and hacking a folding scooter, but I finally own a Nintendo Switch 2 using points obtained from Citi Bike. Afterwards, it left me questioning the very nature of work. For @aftermath.site. aftermath.site/switch-2-cit...

for any one else confused about the news this morning, i looked it up. el paso means "the pass" in a language called spanish

the umamusume subreddit had to disable images yesterday because people kept posting a gif of sakura bakushin getting her armpit licked

old man yelling at cloud but forums were great for maintaining a historical record for niche communities. my specific gripe is for magic the gathering, decks in eternal formats were developed in years of threads and you could go back and see how cards were implemented from new sets over time

if i was the patriots quarterback i would throw the ball to one of my team mates. but i guess that’s why i’m not in the super bowl