nothing really highlights saudi arabia’s stupidity like getting podcast ads for aramco. ahhh i’m going to aramco dot com to learn more right after i reup my athletic greens subscription

and what about the unicorn that takes me riding through the clouds every night while i tell it secrets no one else can know? it’s not true. we made it up. it never happened

Please join me in supporting this Legal Defense Fund for MN Anti-ICE Organizers! Just like in Chicago, the DOJ is trying to make examples of people who LEGALLY resisted this administration’s reign of terror. (See their story.) Let’s fight back!! chuffed.org/project/1865...

this part gets me every time

this comes up over and over in everything i watch and i think anti-airbrush painters are the anti-vaxxers of miniature painting. but worse, morally

they really fucked up with the word “seem.” you can’t use it in a nice way to describe your initial impression of someone without sounding sarcastic or skeptical. i don’t have a solution someone just said i seemed super cool today and it really bothered me

finally, someone calling their bluff

i am seeing baby bunnies on the trail literally every few feet and it feels like im going to come home to a pile of bombed out rubble

i need to stop pregaming at mcdonald’s before the gym because every time i see some customer-is-always/right asshole get upset their three fucking double cheeseburgers weren’t customized to their liking something inside ticks down

“welcome to Nateland,” I say, “the apolitical comedy theme park for people who love apolitical fun.” I sweep my arm in a grand gesture as the rollercoaster behind me immediately derails, dozens of riders shrugging as they slam into the earth at 300 mph

it's like. you give a chimp a gun. and the chimp goes around and shoots a bunch of people. but also the chimp shoots hitler. and in this case what this means is the chimp shot himself and the chimp was hitler. if you get my meaning. great work chimp

i got a checkup and my cholesterol levels are really good, which sucks. i asked the doctor if i could self diagnose a bunch of conditions to ask for soda money online and she said it would be lying. but that i could probably get a lot anyway

the dogs finding another bunny nest

company heroes…I underestimated your game…

Some more Grey Hunters. very little grey on these guys #warhammercommunity #paintingwarhammer #miniaturepainting

i just saw a bunch of guys in diving suits pulling a yoda out of the reflecting pool

intro for a sitcom pilot i worked on back in 2014. what could have been…

I think the worst thing to come out of the office were all the couples who thought they were jim and pam. jim was disgusting

the kohls mom has suffered enough. free her from the fluorescent lit prison

when you need a short sock and keep pulling long socks from the clean laundry instead!!

those are gonna be the foulest portopottys on earth

i had a really good workout after eating a ten piece chicken nuggets at the mcdonald’s next door and now i’m making a fist and looking at how my arm muscles move. that’s nuggets in there

do you have video games at your house brother. do you have sega

Incredible details in this NYT piece on missing Republican congressman

i don’t like how happy the employees look in culver’s commercials. show me one going waffle house on a rude customer and i’ll consider it

mitch mcconnell being taken up to the second floor of the hospital, getting off the stretcher, and immediately falling down the closest flight of stairs

fuck you, you, and you, I know you all won’t like this because this place is full of [drowned out by passing train sounds] but here’s what i think:

“this may get me canceled on bluesky but” well alright fuck you suck my dick. why should anyone listen to you starting a sentence like that

i opened the door for someone as i was walking into the gym and she seemed unsure for a bit then went in and i realized it was because she farted. i hate this place

don’t talk to me like this

post-trump america will only regain any semblance of global credibility through a vicious and vindictive crackdown on the health supplement industry

have never liked this guys whole shit

i really underestimated the amount of fiber in craisins

why doesn’t the uk just beat keir starmer up

i can’t believe the spurs are losing when people on here are telling them exactly what to do

it’s 1985 and i’m walking into a nursing home in parma ohio. im volunteering or whatever. one of the nurses points over at an old man slumped over in a chair facing a wall. “that’s chef boyardee” they say. “and he’s dying.” the first thing that comes to mind is that he’s not wearing the hat

the real chef boyardee died in a nursing home in ohio. that’s all i got for this one

i’m really hungry and all i have is a big cornucopia with a bunch of pumpkins spilling out of it

when power rangers morphed did their heads become the helmets and then just have a bunch of brains and goo inside or did they grow a helmet on top of their regular heads

it’s funny when people pretending to be mexican on here say stuff like “as a mexican i love mexicans.” laying it on a little thick

Two years ago today. I didn’t realize at the time but this was the equivalent of detonating a nuclear bomb of psychic damage in the Ohio Senate.

bro you’re absolutely glowing…how far along are you

laughing really hard bc i 1) never saw this tweet before and 2) didn’t know that was the name of the song until i just pulled it up on youtube

how sick would it be if they took down “and the john f. kennedy” right before a big burlap sack rolled off the roof

if i was hit by lightning and 300 million volts of electricity tore through my body, i would use it to run really fast and make tornados with my arms

i saw a nice news story about the special olympics and my brain immediately went to “remember when obama joked about it on the tonight show.” i did but i wasn’t gonna say anything about it. let me think about things without bringing up related results

there are places here that are combination hobby shops and tabletop gaming spaces that also serve drinks and are packed every time i go. it is the closest thing to that one utopia picture i have ever known. in case anyone needs ideas with what to do with abandoned data centers

lord help me I’m thinkin’ ‘bout a bean hole

kudos to brooke rollins for preferring corn tortillas over the yakubian flour