[stern interrogative voice] how can that be profitable for the frito lay corporation

Me manically running through the streets: “THEY’RE WATERING DOWN THE COKE ZERO!!! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!” The head of Allen Dulles floating in a jar watching through a monitor: “Kill him.”

I had zero chance to win this week knowing the ravens offense was probably going to kick a field goal but hey might as well throw a Hail Mary

If the ravens don’t kick any field goals or XPs from this point on, I will post hog

If the lions can make this drive last an 3 minutes and an entire quarter, I’d appreciate it

There’s a defensive back on the ravens named Tampa Jr., that’s real commitment to the Tampa 2

All of the racist 49ers players are injured. Makes you think

It’d be funny if a player’s WAR was related to their ability to ascend, curt schilling being the obvious highest-WAR-but-not-getting-Raptured player

How can we piss off the anti-vaccine parents while also getting sued by Johnson and Johnson ??

lol

me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines

I saw the man show and that dude is super problematic and we should cancel him again, but from the left (which is the good kind of cancelling)

Starting my campaign to get Jimmy Kimmel off the air because he’s not woke enough

The edits coming out these days are pretty good @screamerjim.bsky.social

Had a dream that I had a giant thing of earwax removed and I could hear things properly again. Wish that was real life

“Please don’t shoot my husband too, I know he deserves it but we have kids”

producing Larry Fitzgerald, Aaron Donald, and that 13-9 win over West Virginia in the last thirty years is more impressive than the entire history of, like, Stanford football

The coolest thing about Pitt is since 1980, they’ve produced maybe the best defensive player all time, a top 5 corner all time, a top 5 receiver all time, 2 top 15 all-time RBs, another top 50 all-time RB, and their best season was getting slaughtered by Utah at the fiesta bowl

They’re gonna show the IOF killing half of the people at the festival, right

LIL MAN [looking at snoopy and woodstock]: that is bird. That is dog. That is dog and bird.

oh hey, sweet. [oc]

incredible how everyone around Charlie Kirk is just feasting on his carcass, not a single one of them letting any of it go to waste. Dude was an awful person and surrounded himself with awful people and, surprisingly, none of them were actually loyal to him

Did you know that the Chinese symbol for crisis is the same as opportunity? (It is not, but one person’s dead husband is another’s opportunity to become a “Christian leader”)

There shouldn’t be a Darius slayton AND a Darius Slay

Cam Skattebo.

THAT Russell Wilson is back

Bears curse broken, Bears 1-0 in post Charlie Kirk world

Charlie Kirk Major L Bozo Caught in 4K

Olamide Zaccheaus went for the jumping celebration with DJ Moore who didn't see him 😭🤣

I haven’t seen Treinen pitch this bad since the start of the 2021 season

Do you think Jerry jones thinks he’s going to die

Jim harbaugh slack jawed and sundowning is iconic

Bears going to the Super Bowl talk back on baby

I mean, you don’t want to win this game, you want to win the playoff game against the eagles

If the refs didn’t help the eagles so much, this’d be a really good game

Go browns baby

I think the Rams should stop giving up first downs when it’s 3rd and 10

Eagles getting away with a bunch of illegal plays because they’re all Trump supporters

Refs got the call they gotta make it close, that was a clear fumble by hurts smdh

All of the eagles fans are checking out what time the Yankees game starts

Colts are going to the Super Bowl

Me watching the first half of this Rams-eagles game

Refs helping the eagles out again. 😔 rams 13-eagles 0-refs 14

Rams stopping the run and burning the DBs on long plays, oh we’re good this year

Poona Ford

Refs already giving the game to the eagles smdh 😔

Damn the colts are actually legit aren’t they lol

Check out this cool dude

Only 6 more minutes until my brain is completely healed from concussion symptoms