Sisyphus probably was happy from like attempt 50 to 10,000, but after that you gotta imagine it was a bit more tedious. Like listening to baby shark

In every harbaugh family, there must be an evil one and a good one

We’re gonna eat you. With forks.

PLUR1BUS (2025)

"Oh my god did you see Andy's swing? Hahaha" "Holy shit, I threw the ball in the ground and he still swung at it. He looked so fucking stupid I couldn't breathe"

Love seeing the chargers o line introduce themselves and they’re all ranked last at each position by pff

Yall got any more JSN receptions

The New Market Ineffeciency

Seattle-Arizona is 28-0 already and there’s 3 quarters left to play

The Chicago bears are going to the Super Bowl

Cleveland browns lose because of a neutral zone infraction lol

The Chicago bears are gonna win the football game

My son, who is 3 years old, has never seen the bills lose to the dolphins

[guy who loses one bet voice] I’m never gambling again

Drake Maye giveth and Drake Maye taketh away

These dudes are the stupidest fucking people on the face of the earth

The Buffalo bills have lost the Mandate of Heaven

Tez Johnson rocks

Lost the bet

Lmfao

A second hingle mccringleberry celebration has hit the red zone

JJ McCarthy is right that in order to be a good QB, you have to be corny sometimes

Good Score™️

If you got bases loaded and one out, there’s a half dozen ways to score. Dodgers got extremely lucky the ball was hit right at Rojas AND that he made that play

Can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but I agree with jomboy that IKF not taking a bigger secondary lead was the right call and that a back pick or a double-off would’ve been more disastrous.

lol she got his ass and he knows it

Prickle is about to sing wrecking ball at karaoke and tear the place apart

My theory about Joyce Carol Oates is that all her bad posts are her charging up like Godzilla's spines until she lets loose with a radioactive blast that leaves the world's richest Nazi a pile of ash

Otgonbayar is my dude

I support Plur1bus’s mission of giving an X-Files writer what appears to be a billion dollars.

I bet it’d be really nice to chit chat and have a beer with

The alien thing in pluribus is really chill

Unbelievably sick Jesus Lizard shirt

Lil man just spent 20 minutes screaming and throwing things because I asked him to put on underwear and I think he fell asleep

[TMNT font] Mamdani’s text generator

@assbott.bsky.social ok whoever’s running the account, stop having assbott reply to random tweets

he immerses you in minute details. incredible sound design work. the precise hollow plastic tapping of a massive adult father having a panic attack and fumbling wildly at the seatback touch screen on an airplane

I read it and my god, this is basically spitting on his grave (deservedly)

pre-writing a devastating obituary for your enemy is god-tier hating of a kind you don’t often see anymore. renaissance haterism. beautiful stuff.

@assbott.bsky.social assbott they killed Charlie Kirk

If they ever make it into a movie, they should cast Tim Robinson as Captain White because I’m pretty sure Tim saying “oh my god” right after this paragraph would be the funniest thing anybody has ever said

In reading blood meridian for the second or third time and remembering why I stopped

We didn’t need all these biographical Willy Wonka movies about who he is as a person. In the older versions, he’s obviously God or the Devil. You’re supposed to spend the entire story wondering which one and gradually become worried they’re the same being

BGs soccer team didn’t score but they had 4 chances and stopped the ball from going in 4 times so it was a classic epl 0-0 match

The only person he’s ever experienced this with was his mom

My favorite part of pluribus so far is the “We” people saying “we want you to join us” and then “no wait not… not that way”

Love to watch pluribus and see an old improv coach

Lil man just threw a football and hit me square in the eyes with a perfect spiral

Mmm most of the non political ones are him but not nearly as charismatic or fun