every atlantic-bound city lirr is like a normal train and every jamaica-bound city lirr is like a hell train where all the lights flicker on and off like ur about to get serial killed

me when its cold: this isn't too bad I can work with this me when its cold and windy: what the heck

fat-fingering my work computer password: oh whoopsy doodles fat-fingering my work computer password for the second time in a row: jeez I really need to slow down and type more carefully fat-fingering my work computer password for the third time in a row: DESPAIR

don't mind me fellas just doing a little night reading before bed

my 2025 new years was to get a new job and move back to nyc and I managed to do Literally Exactly That and it was a lot. so if it's all the same to y'all my 2026 resolution is going to be hanging out and watching some movies

as someone who absolutely hates cardio this is unfortunately true lifting heavy things (fun, cool): good for you, which rocks doing cardio (miserable, sucks): also good for you, which is bullshit

I am going to take more than the recommended dosage of sudafed and melt into a puddle of goo

local man pours 3 packets of emergen-c into one glass in the hopes of instant cure or possibly death, more at 11

we are so fucking back (sitting a respectful distance from mango)

PLURIBUS FINALE

this is my hamilton

just saw a little girl at the airport with a backpack that was literally also a scooter. why do little kids get the coolest shit.

in 2026 we are NOT hustling, we are NOT grinding, we are doing just enough Job to have money for Video Game

That time of year again!

there is a woman next to me at the terminal who is cross stitching and I want to be like HELLO NEW FRIEND. I ALSO LIKE TO CROSS STITCH

my flight has been delayed 3 times, for a grand total of a 3 hour delay, and all these delays happened in the span of like an hour while I was already on my way to or at the airport

she's five apples tall. she has an identical twin sister named mimmy. her favorite food is apple pie. she's a scorpio. she plays the piano. her boyfriend is dear daniel and we all wish she would just dump him already.

it’s the freaking weeking baby!!

Inside of me is an extremely dumb guy and a relatively smart guy, and the smart guy is so fucking sad, just a mess. So he mostly lets the dumb guy run things. At least the dumb guy can get up in the morning, you know?

you guys this isn't funny, lightning fans only do this when they're under real distress

We are perfectly capable of making boneheaded mistakes without the assistance of computers

there are generally two types of names for fishes: "the most devastating insult you'd ever hear if it was uttered by a southern gentleman" and "drunkenly trying to remember the name of a character from les miserables"

it is truly not christmas unless I come down with some sort of mystery virus. even when I'm not working on christmas I must come down with some sort of mystery virus

“movies are too long” shut up im watching a MOVING PICTURE!!!!!!

I miss the cats :(

Balthazar: in honor of your son's birth, I brought you gold. Melchior: I brought you frankincense. Gaspar: I brought you myrhh. Little Drummer Boy: I brought a sick drum solo. Mary: Mary: yo this is rad as fuck

was SO CLOSE to winning a game of rummikub for the first time in my life and then my dad (who was right before me) won instead

I have been home 36 hours and my mom is just now asking for a rummikub game. I admire her restraint

I have been bitten by a mosquito so my day is now ruined goodbye everyone

merry christmas from my parents backyard

oh shit I got paid today and it included the bonus I got for helping put together the holiday party HAPPY CHRISTMAS PAYDAY BELOVEDS

you're telling me that a trans siberian-ed this orchestra??

cackling over this photo the sitter sent of mochi that makes her look like some kind of cryptid

I am home for christmas so here is a marley

as always the tampa airport arrivals zone playing real fast and loose with what we consider "loading and unloading". and also what we consider "the lane dedicated to loading and unloading"

hello my love!!

I came all to Bethlehem and none of the faithful knew ye

everyone shut the hell up I am eating a cheeseburger for the first time since (checks notes) Ash Wednesday

i had to drop what i was doing to make this

please imagine its christmas so this meme pops off PLEASE

forgot to share yesterday but Regal Union Square was giving out free posters and ping pong balls at Marty Supreme last night

I'm not working Christmas this year but I am a stress eater and my "diet is suspended Dec 23" rule still applies. I'm going to get a $7 mocha

petition to rename the Streisand Effect the Bari Weiss effect

oh sorry guys I had Marty Supreme tickets what happened on wrestling tonight

here's the 60 minutes cecot video part 1 of 5 - recorded/uploaded by and all credit to @jasonparis.bsky.social I just reduced background noise, chopped the 14 minutes into 3 minute segments each compressed under 100 mb for bsky's limits, cropped and rotated a few degrees for easier viewing on here

gonna fuck around and get really into embroidery this year