bread I made is too chewy. don't text

please look at this one comedically sized air bubble in my bread

the ol razzle dazzle

Please do not show me Grummz posts.

how dare Hades 2 make the new siren song an arena rock ballad. how am I supposed to do a boss fight to a song that does not bop

do we reset the clock if IT is still struggling with the thing you put in a ticket for on Wednesday or...?

extremely broken run lmao

never heard of him

(points at the moon) that's my wife

You simply cannot make me spend my time on this stuff. Oh the president said Tylenol causes autism? Well it doesn't. No I'm not going to pore through research papers to prove it to you. That's not what my time is for. My time is for playing videogames and gazing lovingly at my wife.

hell is scheduling meetings with people in arizona

call into the void: anyone want to take my Mountain Goats ticket in Jersey City for 10/4 off my hands?

them

director said that the audio samples I sent sounded good but that he didn't know enough about my voice to be able to pick me out and it was hard not to be like "I know I'm like really good at my job *hair flip*"

so the thing I've learned is that with a gas oven temperature is WAY less precise. I had it set for 25m, turned the pan halfway through (to ensure even cooking) and I still ended up pulling it out at like the 22 minute mark

good luck my sweet and beautiful practice bread dough. all of my hopes and dreams are on you

so is that a 'no'?

RESET THE CLOCK

hey if any of you guys get raptured can I have your stuff

you mean st. petersburg?

everyone shut the hell up I am watching wrestling

good luck my sweet and beautiful practice dough. all of my hopes and dreams are on you

I have a very important thing I said I'd make bread for this weekend. I have yet to attempt any real baking in the new apartment and I've never baked with a gas stove before. so I am going to have to make a ✨trial dough✨

my mom just sent me a substack post and I felt my entire world tilt 90 degrees. I do not know how to reckon with my mom knowing what substack is and regularly subscribe to people

happy libra season you dumb sluts!!

beck lore: I perfected making grilled cheese sandwiches in college, an skill I still try to flex once in a while

wooooo!!

thanks google gemini, very helpful

I’m worried it can still get stupider

friendly reminder that I am

[looking at everything] this really speaks to how fucked up everything is

a wasp somehow got in so I opened a window to try to lure it out and not only is the dummy continuing to run into the top half of the window instead of the open bottom half of the window but a fly just flew in so I gotta deal with that after this

ha ha ha!! yes!!

I regret to inform you all that I am back on my bullshit (becoming a "making cold brew at home" guy)

noodle arms!! everyone gather round and point and laugh at the cat with noodles for arms!!

oh shit happy payday beloveds

this is how I find out Charlie Kirk and I had the same birthday lmao

why does Excel always default formatting of dates to 'd-m'? Like you type 10/1 and it becomes "1-Oct". Who the fuck has ever WANTED 1-Oct?

The voice actor behind Halo’s multiplayer matches has faced criticism for remarks made in the wake of 7 consecutive player deaths. paletteswap.site/dif...

sentence I wrote in an outlook email: Let me know some times that you're free next week copilot grammar check: 'sometimes', 'your' me: absolutely not. neither of those.

the girlies are fightingggg

It's time to do that thing you've been wanting to do

This "apology" article we ran after this is still maybe my proudest career crowning achievement, and I am only prouder of it reading this lol hard-drive.net/hd/technolog...

tired: eating oatmeal for dinner bc you broke wired: eating oatmeal for dinner bc you feel like it inspired: making oatmeal for dinner and then forgetting it in the microwave

got my migraine meds

why is showering the most exhausting activity known to man when you're sick