pest control guy wished me a happy valentines day lmao

I have lost custody of my arm

mewgenics is incredible. all my hopes and dreams for this adventuring party rest in the hands of a thief with 4 hit points named Microwave

adhd is a disorder where you're constantly getting pranked by yourself

THANK GOD

buying cat litter when you don't have a car is the most annoying thing known to man

oh god damn it I'm sick

... Hulk Hogan

¡Hola! Estoy huyendo del siglo americano de la humillación. ¿Podrías decirme cómo llegar a la discoteca gótica más cercana?

haha its already over, ive drawn my wife as the smokeshow and me as a weird idiot

AMC I do not pay you $30 a month for A-List just for you to call me a fatty

sincerely telling myself i am a brave little toaster

was thinking about getting up and going to bed but mochi came and sat in my lap so now I'm petting mochi

sorry i missed the virtual meeting on discord, liz. i got hit with the id verification that happens when the app detects youre young

cats are wrestling at the foot of the bed AGAIN

4 year duolingo streak babey!!

tried my hand at embroidery!!

everyone shut the hell up I am watching wrestling

This whole halftime show has me like:

SEÑORA GAGÁ??

whole party was singing along to Backstreet Boys and then when it was revealed to be a coinbase commercial everybody started booing

I am home. my migraine is mostly gone. I have obtained pizza. I am going to move my heated blanket to the living room and park my ass on the couch and not leave it for the rest of the day.

it should be more common for there to be pipe organs outside of churches. organ music rules. you should be able to go to starbucks and hear a pipe organ

got a migraine in the middle of (checks notes) hour 3 of my 8 hour rehearsal today so

ITS ALL DEMAND TIL THEY NEED WHERE YOUR BODY STANDS I GUESS I AINT USING MY BODY ANYWAY

this would fix me

it’s the freaking weeking baby!!

“good luck babe” means a lot to me because there are a lot of women who are in love with me and express it through stalking and defamation which is not as sexy or fun as it sounds

"I need AI to make art, human art is only for the rich and privileged-"

oh let's fucking go bolts

me this week: ehhhhh I will skim the Fauré I don't feel like singing in French this week director: okay welcome everyone let's get started with the Fauré me: fuck

DEATH MATCH DEATH MATCH DEATH MATCH DEATH MATCH

oh shit happy payday beloveds

what if we kissed while singing little tunes from the 15th century heart shaped book of french love songs ?

I am encountering the same issue with Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator that I encountered with Space Warlord Organ Trading Similar in that I do not understand how the economy works and that kind of hamstrings you when you are essentially playing a wall street simulation game

the lights are on but nobody is home

the day is over. time to change from my joggers back into my sweats. don't look at me like that. they are two entirely different types of pants.

heated blanket ✅ tiramisu ice cream waiting to start a blood on the clocktower game ✅ everyone shut the hell up I am watching wrestling

I have successfully gooped the cats for another month. get gooped, losers!!

oooooo..... look into mango's kind and soulful eyes... you want to give her $20.....

(looking at the grammys red carpet) I know who like 3 of these people are

Slamming Tony Chachere’s directly into my veins in the abandoned CVS parking lot. The kids call it “dancing with the Cajun.”

I am better than you for not using chatGPT actually. I am superior to you intellectually and spiritually

recently bought a new heated blanket. the cats are having the time of their lives

WAKE UP BABE NEW SUBLO AND TANGY MUSTARD

I'm on the LIRR and one of the guys scanning tickets looks like he's about 15 years old

oh yeah well can ur man do THIS *listens to one song on loop continuously for weeks*