finally, my masterpiece, now on Bluesky

Watching Javy Baez create a highlight like

You'll get it but you need to watch the slide a dozen times and friends, it is worth it

Last month in The Onion:

Very cool, Burger King advertising right next to racism

Oh: A 2022 study found that children in households that used voice commands with tools like Siri and Alexa became curt when speaking with humans, often calling out “Hey, do X” and expecting obedience, especially from anyone whose voice resembled the default-female electronic voices.

Oh, I'm sure this won't end up being evil.

Alright, here's the part of the day where I ask you to please consider becoming a paid subscriber to either my newsletter or my Patreon. I have a 40% off deal going on right now. bsky.app/profile/park... Here's a picture of Trump handing the DoorDash woman a $100 bill.

a powerful reminder of the grotesqueness of man's sinful nature, thank u sonic

“The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became the truth.”

No one likes saying “hey look at me I’m smart and need a job” more than me. It makes me want to peel my skin off. But also there are few if any reporters out there right now that understands the international sport landscape the United States finds itself in over the next 8 years.

Again, this story isn’t going away!!!

If he's right, I'm going to live forever.

DoorDash's head of public affairs said "no one is claiming it was a real delivery." I found a few people who were claiming that: Reuters, ABC, CBS, the AP, Fox, Newsmax, The Hill, the New York Post, and CSPAN, for starters. www.readtpa.com/p/a-real-del...

Obviously, this is just my opinion and I'm only speaking for myself, but I actually believe that it's not what he intended. I wrote a bit about it back in 2021. www.readtpa.com/p/dave-chapp...

Public perception of Israel has shifted in a pretty big way. Check out this CNN segment: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBuK...

"I want to tell my fellow trans people that the Constitution’s promises protect them as much as anyone else. But when the Court won’t afford them the decency of acknowledging that bigotry against trans people is real, I can only tell them to give the Court the amount of respect it deserves."

I got a bit of a chuckle out of this headline about two trans women who work as journalists at the Sun-Times getting confused for each other, tbh. chicago.suntimes.com/opinion/2026...

Larry Ellison's nepo baby son is hosting a CBS dinner "honoring Trump" two days before the White House correspondents' dinner, and one day before Warner Bros investors vote to finalize the unpopular merger

The Democratic group, trying to figure out how to get the Youth to support them: what if we said the word "fuck?" (Or actually, "f*ck")

I simply refuse to take the U.S. business community seriously

Yeah, man, no one ever criticized Saudi Arabia until you performed there. Definitely. Sure. Right. Absolutely.

Happy JACKIE ROBINSON DAY! On April 15, 1947, Jackie Robinson debuted with the Brooklyn Dodgers, marking the end of MLB segregation. But if the NFL hadn't also been segregated, we would likely be celebrating someone else today. That's because Jackie Robinson would have been in the NFL.

Teach what you know, I guess

Has anyone calculated the chance of a J6er being convicted of sex crimes vs the general population? It's gotta be like 10,000% higher

NEW: Deepfake abuse incidents have been documented at schools in 88 countries, according to research by @wired.com and @indicator.media. One conclusion experts draw is that this is like other types of sexual violence: “Increasingly, the intent is humiliation, denigration, and social control.”

I got a different answer that was somehow worse

Deflategate

Amazing things happening over on Threads.

I'm going to have to listen to this whole interview to know whether this is rage bait or not, but ooooof.

Dear Pope Leo, If you excommunicate JD Vance, I will return to the church. Lapsed Catholic, Parker

incredible that the lifelong Catholic in this specific situation is The Pope

I’ve had this in my head all day

“An iceberg? At this time of the year? In this part of the Atlantic? And we’re about to crash into it?”

This is more than legislation. This work is personal to me. theonion.com/illinois-bec...

Ok

Caitlyn Jenner is awful, but I'm dying at this photo choice for this article. Brutal.

I imagine that it's times like these when Trump will think to himself, "Wait, you guys actually believe in this stuff?"

Important context here: The men were not pardoned. They filed suit to have their convictions thrown out. The DOJ would normally oppose this, as the original prosecutors. But to do that… they’d have to assert the men committed sedition… on behalf of Donald Trump. So instead, they just fold.

The authors of the HHS report on trans youth health care were chosen by the Manhattan Institute's Leor Sapir. Now, a rule based on the controversial report could wipe out this care at hospitals. Parents are begging the administration not to go through with it. www.motherjones.com/politics/202...

So! Later this month (April 24), I turn 40 years old. 👵 Until then, I'm reducing the price for the paid versions of my newsletter and Patreon (I cross-post the same thing to both) by 40%. Please consider buying a sub. Newsletter: www.readtpa.com/parker40 Patreon: www.patreon.com/parkermolloy

It seems bad that infra-left conflict weighs the merits of voting vs firebombing a Walmart until one day you learn intra-right conflict asks whether the president is God or Satan.

Smart move to have the super handsome reporter conduct this interview, tbh

Wooo! 25% of the way to compliance! Wooo!

I didn’t think this post through and now there are a lot of questions about my driver rating

They're doing another round of bloodwork but think he's going to need immediate hospitalization. They estimate it will be $2000-4000. I could really use some help paying for that. Paypal.me/transscribe