The 15 pokes I got to level 100 before finding out multiplayer auto adjusts everyone to level 50 and has been doing so for the past eleven thousand years because I’m old as fuck, apparently.

So… anyone got any teams they’re planning on using in Pokémon Champions? Thinking about getting into competitive Pokémon because it’s complicated and pointless, which means I can dedicate my brain to it and not various doom and depression related topics.

What a beautiful way for a community to physically instantiate a story about itself that will long serve as an inspirational reminder to future generations of “who we are.”

Paused MAD MEN while Ted Chaough’s partner was in the hospital and the HBO Max interstitial ad made it look like his dying wish was for a Whopper.

Experimenting with an opening that isn’t king’s pawn:

American strategic thinking:

We can’t win.

A lot of transphobic discourse boils down to “should it be illegal for women to be conventionally unattractive“ tbh.

Look at that 5'7 man go youtu.be/_L5tzHOo3vU?...

They’re using drones and ballistic missiles and shit from their uniformed armed forces. Insurgency isn’t when Muslims do a good job.

Xi Jinping really woke up one morning not long ago and was like "What a lovely time to purge the military. It's not like the Americans are going to starve Taiwan of gas and get bogged down in another Middle Eastern quagmire that burns through their stockpiles."

TRUMP: Marco, could you have possibly said a worse thing than "President Trump started this war because the Israelis told him to do it?" RUBIO: Quite easily. Watch this. *whips out phone* Hi, Miss Prime Minister of Japan lady? You know that war we started cuz Israel said? We're gonna lose it too.

In other words, the internal assessment of the U.S. government is that we are losing.

I hope Pombon in the upcoming game becomes a bigger, dumber ball of fluff and not like a humanoid with an AK-47 or some shit.

I think Meganium is a cool Pokémon because basically every other final evolved starter is like "RAWR I'M A SCARY BADASS NOW!" and Meganium is like "I'm staying friend shaped, just bigger and with a flower." It has a confidence to it, you know?

heh

Okay wait, hold the phone. The bread pricing thing was in Canada?! The way people were talking about Pete and bread I assumed there was like, some form of corruption in foreign aid to developing countries his employers were associated with, starving Somali orphans.

"Countries heavily reliant on US aid see a 10.5% increase in maternal mortality following a switch from a Democratic to a Republican administration—about 44.7 additional deaths per 100 000 live births." gh.bmj.com/content/11/3...

Will he be joining as part of Team Rocket?

“By the grace of Allah most the merciful and beneficent, Abdul-Malik al-Houthi will be appearing in Super Smash Brothers for the Switch 2 as a preorder bonus and day 1 DLC.”

This is still funny:

Well, the Chinese are going to feel really fucking stupid after spending all that money on stealth fighters and aircraft carriers and ballistic missiles when we promptly destroy American hegemony ourselves without them, aren't they? Checkmate, commies.

Because a talking hat said so. Don't be silly.

I miss when Rowling didn't make hating us her entire personality. It was funny when she would arbitrarily declare it canon that wizards shit on the floor and poof away the mess and things of that nature.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh

The Nazi wing of the GOP is absolutely going to try to spin this into “It’s all You Know Who’s Fault and that makes Vance the peace candidate in 2028“ and you fuckers had better not fall for it.

The funny thing is that Vance’s people immediately suspect a Jewish plot is probably *why* the Iranians trust Vance more.

Honestly, after all the woke killed this or that franchise, It’ll be really funny in a cosmic sort of way when the resin price increases from Trump’s war kills Warhammer.

Your periodic reminder that there is a website that lets you listen to local radio stations anywhere in the world This is honestly one of the coolest inventions ever, imo. Global access to hyper-local imagined communities

Proposing a new Space Marine chapter for Warhammer: The Iron Heads, an Iron Hands successor who follow the example of their revered primarch and cut off their heads instead of their hands.

Okay it *is* a cool duck, though.

The Trumpists clearly want the USMC to become the Republican Republican Guard but for some reason we all pretend not to see this.

Workshopping a take that Philistinism is transphobic because it prevents people from being exposed to art better than Harry Potter. Is that something? I can never pull off using the trans card to win arguments.

In fairness, as far as potential outcomes for “Osama bin Laden’s neighbor“ go, that’s probably one of the less bad ones.

I hope bin Laden’s neighbor who was up all night complaining about the damn helicopter next door making too much noise is having a nice day.

I just hope both teams have fun.

If you’re Iran and believe Vance is a relatively preferable negotiating partner, there’s a pretty compelling case to try running out the clock, imho.

So what happens when the Iranian ecological collapse and American strategic collapse intersect?

A-plus teaser work

Okay, fine, whatever. There is no difference between Jane Austen and your Bulbasaur/Deadpool slash fic and everything above a fourth grade level is completely inaccessible unless you have fifty billion dollars even if you have an internet connection and a library card. You all win.

Not familiar with whales? Don't worry a thorough primer is thoughtfully included

I think they should teach how to make neat, clearly legible block letters because the AI bullshit means I’m gonna have to grade a lot more of those little blue test booklets.

Lay on, thou Doki Doki leftover And damn'd be him that first cries, 'Hold, game over!'

I will build upon this point and argue that it is in fact elitist to assume you have to be fantastically rich to appreciate anything written above a fourth grade level or that makes you feel things other than a little sugar rush.

Luigi: I fear none, for the prophecy said only by the hand of a dinosaur from an egg twice hatched can I be slain. Birdo: *menacing Birdo noises*

The tragedy of Macbirdo.

People took this a lot more personally than I meant it to come across. I post pictures of my Pokémon and shit on here too. The neurotic internet lady ain’t gonna judge you for not spending every second of your free time studying interpretive dance. Calm down.