“And there he is, folks. Dead as a doornail. Low energy. He died as he lived. Not as important as me. Me. Now that’s something worth talking about isn’t it?” *crowd cheers* “Let’s be real, folks. Who are you really here for?” *crowd chants TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP* “Right. So enough about that dork…”

I feel bad for the kids—they’re stuck in an abusive cult that routinely endangers them—but I kind of imagine growing up is going to be surreal, like your dad was nothing to no one and yet everyone you know gets misty eyed about him, a completely hollow legacy

I don’t think anyone left of Pinochet said anything as savage about Kirk as referring to his funeral as “a time of whatever.”

Ross’s job is to somberly inform liberals, more in sorrow than in anger, that daddy will never stop hitting mommy until mommy admits she’s a dumb whore who deserves it.

The only thing I ever knew about this is exactly what you started to say And I asked: why the fuck are you OK with watching *this*? How have you not tried to cancel *this shit* And the answers were almost always "Lighten up" from people who had never up to then lightened up about a single thing

“Axis Powers Hetalia” was the weirdest fucking cultural artifact at the time but it’s even weirder now given everything that has happened. It’s like… Okay, for the kids out there, once upon a time progressive coded communities shipped anime anthropomorphized versions of Nazi Ge— oh, forget it.

I confess I have had an extremely difficult time motivating myself to work as hard on my dissertation as I should because I have grown to strongly dislike the United States military over the past year.

Another example of the same phenomenon; they are killing people so they can make videos of them killing people. There is not actually any policy that Venezuela or Colombia can enact to satisfy them, because the purpose is just content creation. Podcasters with the power of the Federal government.

A bit surreal to know over 500,000 people died in a failed attempt to stop me from trying on skirts from time to time.

Me, half a drink in, eavesdropping the whole time: YEAH THE FACT THAT ITS NICKNAME INVOLVES THE WORD “HOG” IS NOT A COINCIDENCE

me, eight drinks in: WRONG, DOC. THE ANSWER IS PENIS. IT'S GOT A BIG FREUDIAN CULT OF DAKKA AROUND THE 30MM GUN. IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY JOBS THE F-35 MAKES OR HOW MUCH MORE SURVIVABLE IT IS IN CONTESTED AIRSPACE BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS PENIS.

a fun game to play is to look up the projected A-10 casualty rates against the Warsaw Pact in the late 1970s, then do the math and see how many years have passed since then.

Low key the best part of Skyrim is how the rebels are like WE FIGHT FOR THE OLD WAYS TO PRESERVE OUR WAY OF LIFE FROM GAY ELF SHIT LIKE MAGIC AND BOOKS and if you pay literally any attention to the game at all, you notice reactionary Nord culture is a post-Oblivion invention.

smug richard nixon loving little fucker

going back in time to punch Mao in the dick because what exactly is your communist people's republic actually good for

Imagining being the military governor of Alabama and the first day on the job you catch Osama bin Laden and his friends. You're about to execute them but then Godzilla attacks and they get away. Also, you almost executed bin Laden's innocent pizza guy by accident and the pizza guy is actually Jesus.

"Well, well, well, look who's back. Not so easy to find salt of the earth country folk who don't suck shit, is it?"

what it feels like interacting with cis women:

For my friends, everything; for my enemies, the law

I guess I must have accidentally absorbed some xenophobia through cultural osmosis because the problematic part of my brain reading the news is like “TF u mean I’m under Nazi occupation by guys named Kevin and not Ivan Mahmood Gregor Jong-Hilterchev?“

i hope when i pass away my loved ones aren't left going "remember when they um.... did the thing? very non-specific things"

I don’t see it tbh. Completely orthogonal to politics, I simply do not see a human body at that age subjected to the stress of a major presidential run for the third time without collapsing.

Rather fond of this screenshot.

It‘s funny because I don’t *blame* people for being surprised when I come out to them when I did everything in my power to convince myself and others I’m not trans and I’m still pretty tomboyish but man, it’d mean the world if one person I knew in meatspace was like “oh, yeah, that clicks.”

The American right operates on a remarkably sophisticated level of subliteracy that involves holding up pictures of words and playing the sounds of words to each other while agreeing not to treat those words as language.

Persecuting Christians: Me being able to buy a hamburger unmolested Not Persecuting Christians: This, apparently Fucking Republicans.

i propose we call it operation white claw

Nonzero chance Trump does Eagle Claw II in Afghanistan. When it happens, you have a duty to scream at every pundit who tries to make it a We Must Rally Around The Commander In Chief thing for not caring about Da Troopz.

Why? It‘s better for everyone when my plastic brick reaches zero.

She should go for a Senate seat and then take a swing at the presidency after consolidating her power there for a few terms imho.

Embrace enlightened centrism and realize Schumer Bad and Trump Bad are both subspecies of Specific Type of Guy From New York Bad and strategically align your political support accordingly. Critical support to Comrade Mamdani against STGFNYism and long live the Great Khan of the Plains.

This looks like something the CIA cooked up after they shot a few guys full of LSD to see what would happen.

Since American law says you can‘t spy on your own president but you can spy on the people who spy on your president, American intelligence probably closely spies on the people who spy on America so they themselves can know what is going on in America.

Horseshoe theory but it’s clearly wishing you could replace all those shrill educated professional women with big stronk manly man white industrial workers who hit things with a hammer or turn a big wrench.

Exactly.

I have a half baked theory that whoever comes across as liking their voters more wins the primary. Hence Mamdani, who actually likes Democrats and New York, beats Cuomo, who wishes he was in a place where a Republican could win, but Bernie can’t win a primary for a party he won’t join.

Meanwhile, whatever the fuck this is is the front page of CNN:

Honestly kind of hilarious that after 50,000 different galaxy brain ideas they tried running in one of the two major parties in a two party system and it worked,

I give the president my solemn word I will give him just as much respect he gives me and people like me with all the honor he treats his oath of office.

It’s bleakly fascinating how little there is to the man. There’s nothing under the mask. This is all there is.

I too dislike the orange fuck.

Every single criticism of BlueSky is valid except somehow the one the pundits stumbled upon, which is roughly equivalent to kicking down the door of a KFC and incredulously asking everyone if they are aware they are eating fried chicken.

Imagine going back in time 20 years and telling the people running Detective Comics Comics that they would make less money with a Superman movie than Marvel did with Carol Danvers and Rocket Raccoon, but at least the Peacemaker show was successful enough for a third season.

"so was this girl shepard also an evil clone?" "not a clone, alternate reality. and not evil, just a renegade who shoots from the hip and likes making a scene" "what i'm hearing is that in this reality, we got stuck with the boring shepard"

Well let's be honest, they only want us around to abuse us like a toddler does to their toys so it makes sense.

This comic is mainly used by gamers (derogatory) mad that women are playing video games, but it's exactly what has happened with Bluesky.

Due to having to retain Facebook for community management with some hobby related volunteering, I have an ever expanding collection of bizarre obviously AI-generated nationalist slop Reels mass uploaded and consumed by South East Asian midlife crisis men