my kid asked if he’s punching the whale out of the water

In the end, it was the daylight that saved us.

@jonbois.bsky.social watching baseball

I don't think economics is all bullshit, but I have worked with a considerable number of economists who strongly believed a lot of economics was bullshit.

Bill Maher's head has finally swollen to such gigantic proportions that it detached from his neck and floated away like a hot air balloon. My thoughts are with his loved ones if he had any.

What is people telling you that you're making them uncomfortable triggering exactly. Do you have trauma from people asking you to stop surveilling them in the past

Blew through that Ted Lasso money on divorce lawyers, huh

LLM assuming the prompt misspelled BLT

Listen up Abdul. How do I print PFD?

And now we wait for the first report of groin strain

Sorry, what time was this? Show me on the release schedule when the “insanely great only” era started please?

Truly, some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.

Driving to In-N-Out in the Tumbler from the Chris Nolan Batman movies because everyone hates me for some reason. Briefcase full of money in the passenger seat in case I see someone who looks like they have good organs to trade.

Imagine running into matt damon in ancient times lmao

Odysseus

An echo chamber should be a beautiful place, a sonorous celebration of natural counterpoint where we might see our own internal patterns of constructive and destructive interference play out aurally. But they went and politicised it 🙄

It would be so cool if 10% of what the ultra-rich imagine might happen to them actually happened to them

I read the word "timocracy" and immediately disregard the rest of the book as my imagination runs wild

There's a long list of necessary prosecutions for the next admin, but they need to throw this moldy donut in the dumpster where it belongs

Oh boy, I might need a Garfield Minus Garfield version of this one

The thing Never Trumpers don't seem to grasp is you don't get extra credit for being medium evil previously and the correct approach to internal Dem fights is to be quiet

Important late-night update to the family group chat

Good effort last week, everybody. This time let's all try to have better personalities

Superman, no, not the Roman gesture

This guy abandoned his only friend on a desert island. Just got up one day and was like, enjoy your raft, buddy, I’m out. Talk about a shitty friend.

You should never, ever, throw the baby out with the bathwater. But sometimes they will come back to haunt you

when you're on minimum specs, not recommended specs

I will stop posting about the Odyssey when the other posts get better

would hogwarts hire a velociraptor? do you have to let a vampire inside your home - if he's your landlord? is a cop who fights crime as a werewolf by night technically a K9 unit who - deserves overtime? if they become partners, can they literally go anywhere and pull over whomever they want?

an estimated 8 billion sleep fans around the world will be tuning in to blanket and pillow tonight

I'm not sure they're often called that

Scylla 46% Charybdis 44.5% Undecided 9.5% Ithaca Polling (RV, 1200 BCE)

My wife is like, I can’t believe you forgot to equip House Keys again. I’m like, hun, House Keys doesn’t even have the glowing outline of an equipable item.

Don't text

Batman fans who hounded Nolan about Batman actually knew a lot about Batman. The people yelling about the Odyssey think it's about Hercules entering an arm wrestling match to win a night with Helen, Queen of Rome.

Yeah thanks, that's almost certainly what I was looking for

I love going to the grocery store to get away from people and sounds

lol imagine being a spanish fan tonight staying up all night to party, flying back home tomorrow, and then having to go back into the office 2-3 weeks from now

guy walking behind us just asked his friend “you hear any rumors?” like they’re in skyrim

Charlie Dolf Vance weighed in at 14 pounds .88 ounces

Now that’s a wide shot

The Jaime Lannister Memorial Trophy

I will start using vosotros if It Happens right now.

Updated ranking: 1. Trains 2. Richie 3. Messi

This is really putting a damper on our age of bronze

Get this little motherfucker on a pair of rollerblades stat. Let's see some tricks, imp.

Congratulations to everyone who says Barthelona