isnt it weird how the prhase "oh no the toilet is overflowing" triggers the primal urge to run in there with your car keys between your fingers like wolverines claws and punch into the toilet to bust up the big shit .

you ever seen such a nasty old dog. and theres an old pug too

what did i do ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Yuko got a hat and she doesn't want me to take it off

my ai assistant looked over my calendar and combined a few events to make my day more efficient. so now my adult circumcision is taking place at ruths chris

tag yourself im larry bud melman

i am withdrawing my entry to the lola bunny challenge due to the troll who zoomed way in on my ass hole and superimposed a pic of the "face on mars " on it.

do you think a nasty d&d guy ever got a d20 stuck in his foreskin. don't think about it just answer yes or no

when i was growing up in los banos there was a meth guy in town who was always nice and one time he told me he was going to go to the gas station for snacks and instantly took off running full speed like t-1000 up th middle of the street

i hate having a dearth of something 👎😤

Hantavirus is no joke 😂 That's why I've started washing my hands after touching rat feces 🐀 What are doing differently to fight hantavirus?💪

another woman living at the bbw hype house has died. that's 2 in 2 years. i kind oh think someone should investigate the weird german guy running it but no one listens to me! especially when i go on one of my rants about the bbw hype house!!

i am receiving word that someone was stretching their thing on the job . i will do some research to find out who was holding their toad on here when they were on their work account. i will find out who was pumping their thing while liking posts and then i will know about it for the rest of my life.

Yuko has had a rough couple weeks. She got an ulcer on her remaining eye and has been almost completely blind from it. It's starting to heal though and yesterday and today she's feeling better and can see her way around the house again. Can we get a "good job Yuko"

when the man kicked napoleon in the pocket to destroy his "tots".... i felt that

NASA just dropped more than 12,000 photos from the Artemis II mission. It'll take me a few days to go through them all, but so far it's one stunner after another. Link: eol.jsc.nasa.gov/SearchPhotos... Credit: NASA/Artemis II Crew (h/t @jonostrower.com)

dark grey website with jetbrains mono font = shitted out by claude without any one looking at it before publishing. fuck this type of shit !!

Only clip nose hair No meat

was thinking of replying to someone who had a bad opinion on the thing but first i clicked on their account and it was mostly drawings of bowser shitting and scooby doo wearing an overflowing diaper . and yes he was saying "Ruh Roh"

its wild how good the macbook neo is for $600. it feels like it should cost twice that. tbh your average normie (web browsing, watching youtube, listening to music, office shit) would probably not tell a difference between this and a macbook pro

if i lived in popeye town and one day i saw a ropy little sailor punch a huge guy so hard his skeleton flew out of his mouth thats the only thing i would talk about for the rest of my life

i worked at a computer repair place like 20 years ago and they had to fire this guy, a big long haired metallica type dude, because he got pissed off at a laptop and threw it into the drywall like a huge shuriken

fantasy: finger buns. hey whatever floats your boat bud -JH

was walking up the street behind an influencer this morning and she was talking to a camera on a stick saying sydney smells like pee. 1) no it does not 2) dont say that when im in the bg

lmao god damn it

last night i went to the youtube video for Jimmy Ray "Are You Jimmy Ray?" and commented "who still listening to this in 2026" and within like 20 minutes it got a thumbs up. i cant prove it at all but i choose to believe it was Jimmy Ray

how can a dog be 13.5 years old and not notice by now that food has to be cooked and we have to wait for it to cook before we can eat it !! chill out babe✨💞

having run afoul of "movie bob" i type this to you from the top of a cold and dark hill where i will stand in atonement until sun-up. may the light of the new day purge the sickness set upon me by Belial, the Great Deceiver himself, through which my ignorant keystrokes led me to the Realm of Fools..

rumor is that "star trek starfleet academy" on paramount got 400k total views. that's cumulative, across all 10 episodes. the budget was arouind $100m for the season so thats fuckin dire if true !!! each VIEW cost $250 !!!!!

Please call your representatives right NOW they need to go to congress ASAP and urge RANDY RAINBOW to make an EMERGENCY PARODY SONG !!!!!!!

years ago there was a sexy babe scam account that dmed me a bunch trying to start chatting and i finally replied like 'please stop' and it changed its avatar pic from the hot babe to darth maul and blocked me

Donald Trump due to your recent erratic statements and actions I believe you may be suffering from undiagnosed adhd and/or imposter syndrome. Please watch Bo Bornman "Inside" immediately !!!!!!!!!!

australia has secret superplums that have blood in them and antioxidants out the ass hole. im as healthy as a really healthy dog

5g radiation coronavirus vaccine bimbofication scheme finally worked but it only worked on one guy. back to the drawing board :\

your order has shipped

the best day at school was when a dog would be loose on the playground. the second best day was when the janitor would get up on the roof and throw all the lost balls down and we would all run to catch them. i should have my real estate license very soon

when someone calls themselves a "creator" its fuckin sad. have some respect for yourself! say you make videos or art or write or whatever! "creator" means "i produce chum for platforms in the way they require for better engagement" it means you "chase the meta" and this makes you Not Artistic !!!

it would be crazy if it happens while you're on a plane because some of the passengers would start crying and like have no where to go for hours while everyone else is really happy and laughing and going nuts

それではここで、うちの猫さまのあくびをご覧いただきましょう

great move by anthropic making "claude code" a CLI app. no quicker way to make dumb guys feel like they're doing something smart than to get them to use the terminal

you see me wearing this shit you should chop my head clean off like a samurai

MLB’s Korean marketing slogan used to be “It’s big ball chunky time”, and I will never stop thinking about it

every time i have to even slightly dress up for anything i think about dress code cracked

"but i grew up with harry potter! i can't NOT watch it" hey thats really pathetic 👍

This is Yuko she is enjoying the sun .

Good morning to everyone except the worst computer industry promotional pin.

a good gag on grindr or sniffies or whatever would be to use it from an airplane so th pic of your penis or ass goes flying across the map at 500 mph .

fuck the equinox !!!!! i hate it!! im a #solsticeman

🍙😈