Here is a video of Yuko fully asleep on my lap while I was getting my ass beat at scrabble

im not a violent person but sometimes if i order onion rings and get just like 4 huge onion rings in a fucked up little stack i think about cutting the chefs head off with a batleth

INVESTOR MINDSET: in 2016 if you bought just 4200 copies of Aerosmith Mad Libs you would have $1 million today .

thanks to months of intense therapy i am now at peace with cowboy butts

tried looking up reviews of a keyboard i found at the thrift store and got seriously grossed out by all the guys saying its "creamy" 🚮 i left right away

Yuko is in her party jammies due to the current events of the day .

uuuuhhhh!!! Uuuhhhhhhh!!!! Ohhhhh!!!! Uhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!

the store was playing an offspring song id never heard before and this one was also about getting cucked. theres gotta be at least 7 or 8 offspring songs about other guys fucking your gf

environmental storytelling

"im rescinding my endorsement of the nazi tattoo guy. but not for the nazi tattoo, that part was fine" is such a crazy thing to have to announce to everyone. probably couldve avoided that by not fucking with a nazi tattoo guy at all in the first place ??

dont say "bio break" it gives the impression you're doing more bio hazards than just piss in there. like spitting all over and placing a bunch of your scabs on the toilet seat

using an old milking table i got from fb marketplace as a computer desk since it already has a hole for the cords 💪

Yuko has been winterized

me whwen a minor personal setback befalls my rival

some guy was jacking it at the dark carnival

Yuko has a new hotdog polo shirt. It's a little snug but she loves it

does Yuko hate wearing the cone? there is no way to know

today im remembering the screen shot of porno where one of the guys is wearing a balaclava and a shirt that says "My Game is Next Level" with a big pic of an nes controller on it

left nin playing on apple music on my other computer while i went to do work and when i came back the autoplay was doing marvel movie soundtracks. fuck steve jobs..

yes! yes !! solstice!!!!! fuck the equinox i hate it i will always prefer the #solstice !!!!!

yeah let me just talk to this fucking monkey for a minute about home electronics

i like saying im going to "refuel" when i mean eat. it makes me feel like a cool car

Yuko had cataract surgery this week and all the vets and nurses loved her. Today she went back for a checkup and all the vets and nurses loved her again. She was sweet to them even while they put drops in and shined light in her eye. She is a "real trooper"

wow i just watched a youtube video of filming locations for The Matrix in Sydney as they appear today and the street where Morpheus is explaining the matrix while neo tries to follow him through a crowd is a street where I very nearly shit my pants in 2021

starting to realize that when someone describes software as "opinionated" that means it doesnt work or doesnt work the way youd expect and therefore it sucks. you could just say it "sucks"

speaking with an older fella at the bus stop today who was trying to figure out when the next bus was coming on his phone. as i was helping him i saw his phone wallpaper was a pic of Billy Idol. i thought

watching lookwell again. a perfect 23 minutes youtu.be/IraqNhvvpUU

Wow

the magpie and the ibis

you know that part in star wars where r2d2 sticks his robot pecker in a wall socket and unlocks a door. thats some crazy storytelling

in honor of pride month the quaker oats guy is Bi for the month of june .

new 1/1 (mostly) print series from new body of work, J series Vol. 3 edit now complete and sealed in stone. big boy museum art on good paper. link will be ferried to the golden roster this week click here and stick in an email to add yourself to the potent list: www.oliverleach.com/contactpurch...

you wont catch my ass in a vestibule. im only in normal size rooms or larger 💪

just flashed back to the time i saw a guy near here peeing into a gatorade bottle and it got full and started overflowing onto his hands and he dropped it and got pee all over his legs. i never went to the theater but i felt like i had

isnt it weird how the prhase "oh no the toilet is overflowing" triggers the primal urge to run in there with your car keys between your fingers like wolverines claws and punch into the toilet to bust up the big shit .

you ever seen such a nasty old dog. and theres an old pug too

what did i do ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Yuko got a hat and she doesn't want me to take it off

my ai assistant looked over my calendar and combined a few events to make my day more efficient. so now my adult circumcision is taking place at ruths chris

tag yourself im larry bud melman

i am withdrawing my entry to the lola bunny challenge due to the troll who zoomed way in on my ass hole and superimposed a pic of the "face on mars " on it.

do you think a nasty d&d guy ever got a d20 stuck in his foreskin. don't think about it just answer yes or no

when i was growing up in los banos there was a meth guy in town who was always nice and one time he told me he was going to go to the gas station for snacks and instantly took off running full speed like t-1000 up th middle of the street

i hate having a dearth of something 👎😤

Hantavirus is no joke 😂 That's why I've started washing my hands after touching rat feces 🐀 What are doing differently to fight hantavirus?💪

another woman living at the bbw hype house has died. that's 2 in 2 years. i kind oh think someone should investigate the weird german guy running it but no one listens to me! especially when i go on one of my rants about the bbw hype house!!