Get Bubba on the phone. He’s gonna want to hear this.

My gigantic truck with huge wheels hides my egg-shaped, three foot tall body and tiny penis

Chimp Squeaker 2 vs. Dawg Shiddy Jr.

Don’t run your fuckin mouth to me, asshole.

This is what they took from you

If you ain’t makin your homies Squirt… you ain’t a homie!!!

Rolling around on the floor with the homies grunting and farting after a HUGE spaghetti dinner

Clowns, jesters, and fools are having a “normal one” today.

-Could the world’s supply of sweets and treats be delivered directly to my house for me to enjoy and snack upon? Some experts think so. -Imagine A World Where Sweets Come To Me: The Future of Treat Delivery -Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Me ALL Your Sticky Sweet Treats: What You Need To Know

TELEMARKETER: (pulling up contact details purchased from some site I didn't care about) Hello? Is this Mr. Epstein speaking? ME: Yes, this is the notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein speaking. TELEMARKETER: And do you still live at… "the website www․goatse․cx"? ME: How may I delight you this evening?

Red Hot Chili Poppin Daddies

Here’s you, bitch.

If I find out one of you jerks is “disliking” my posts I’m going to launch a hockey puck right at that big nose of yours

List for my Halloween movie marathon

If you click like or retweet on my posts you're my friend. If you don't, you're a loser and I hope a dog shits on you

Caption: The shelter said he had been returned four times for being aggressive. It was his last chance. My dad, who never wanted a dog, saw him and fell in love. After showing him the love he deserved, this happened: Video: A Bichon Frisé in a court jester outfit limboing under police caution tape

I hate it when a donkey screams hee haw and kicks my fuckin fat ass with both hind legs

Hey white boy. I saw your ass on FreakingStupid. com. You were on the front page.

It’s called a chopped unc, T.

I’d love to see you head to toes in piss-pot waste.

Thinking about turning into a yelling dumbass who screams and cries about stupid stuff all day

If you don’t follow back, I hate your shit ass. Just kidding I actually don’t even give a shit. You’re nothing to me… fucker

Burping at ice agents through a megaphone

Interrupting someone thats pissing me off by continuously burping

In 2026 Matt Groening is going to phase out Jerkass Homer and replace him with Shitass Homer.

Congrats on the fuckin updoots you cryptonazi loser.

(soothing therapist voice) how does this make you feel, white boy?

You sound like you’re sipping on something a little stronger than sweet tea over there, bubba.

Mr. Chubby Wein0r

You call me a son of a bitch, you MUST know mama!

Discord avatar lighting up while farting

Ain’t nobody wants to hear you run your mouth you stupid bastard

Why don’t you go eat some shit. It’s nature’s candy.

Ate too much candy

Why are you so fucked up, asshole?

Ordering lab grown turds for my dog to eat

Braaaaaaaaaapppp!!!!

That moment when 41 year old unc farts and his hat flies off of his head!

I saw that one movie. Pretty good.

Go lick shit from a dead dog’s ass you nazi bitch

The Head Rot Pilly Cheppers

I love hearing about what a scumbag you are every day. Not. You should die bitch 🖕

Burping so much that they need to send the cops to hunt me down

It’s sick and unfair that I receive so much hate and vitriol simply for being a vile, disgusting and reprehensible scoundrel that makes the world worse just by existing in it

Getting on the new "Shiddy Sodas" trend by cracking a can of my new thick, stinky drink, "The Nasty Howler"