Michael Crapaport

getting a c-section for a really big poop

They need to allow ads on here so I can send them pictures of pig shit balls, goatse, old man dick, lady shitting orange goop on her own face, and shit on a toilet seat.

Check out this dumbass I saw *shows you a phone pic of my face* Oh uh not that one hold on *flips through more pictures of me falling down, getting kicked in the butt, getting hit in the face with a pie, getting shit on by a bird, another one of me getting kicked in the butt by a donkey,

That's him, The Homie With The Pooped Up Butt

The Homie With The Pooped Up Butt

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

Getting diarrhea and calling it my Midnight Mud

It's hotter than my ex-wife's tits out there

Yes bitch, Homer is in fuckin Fortnite, you thought he wasn't? Stupid ass...

Love hearing stupid shit from da mothafuckin peanut gallery. Not. Shut your ass up, dumbass. 🖕

Hey dude, you've got something brown on your nose. I think it might be a little piece of shit, from you sticking your nose in a fuckin ass. You think that might be what it is, fuckwad?

Your little ass is starting to piss my big ass off.

Putting on Red Right Hand during le sexehtimes and hitting the Soy Face every time the bell rings

Did you hear the one about the guy whose piss was white? He didn't know whether he was coming or going.

I spoke to my friend Mitch McConnell in the hospital today. He said "wah wah wee wah" and then a nurse came in and stuck her finger up his butt, triggering a deafening shit fart that made me hurl. Then he instantly turned into ash and I flushed him down the toilet where he belongs.

I'm being raked over hot coals, crucified and BUTTFUCKED with hot irons by the SHIT beasts of Bluesky, simply for the crime of having the most beautiful, perfect opinions. Guess I'll go lay in the fucking dirt where I belong with the rest of the turds.

If you think about it, "calm rational people" are actually insane, rabid, gibbering fools. Unlike me, the cool and collected guy... though I can have that dog in me at times.

Want me to come over there and burp in your face, shithead?

dog throwing up after i burp in his face

Looking for a strain of weed that makes me burp

Saying “time to go burp the baby” and then burping right in your face

How about if I did a huge garlic and onions burp in your face right now?

'Pick me' tomboy gf: Omg... that's totally giving me a girl boner right now Me ('dont pick me' bf): Your right... It's getting me guy wet

Fuck you!!

If you ain’t makin your homies Squirt… you ain’t a homie!!!

Hey listen up you little shit smelling ass. Go get me some hot honey and some jalapeño pepper jelly.

Your stink cloud is very green and opaque today, homie!

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: my dick is a turd, and when I go to take a piss it falls out of my pants and goes *ker-plunk!* into the toilet.

Silence, Shitbeast.

The mods need someone to squat down and take a big fatty boom batty shit on their faces.

Want some food that I peed on, dumbass?

Hey asshole, you want to stick your fingers into this goop or slime or somethin that I found? Ewwww! Hey dickhead, you want to bend over to pick up that penny so I can kick you in the ass?

waiting for you to get home for me to show you a big fart I found

so. your butt stinks and you smell bad. speak on that

I already have a steam machine its called my ass.

Here’s your new job: eating pieces of my crap out of the toilet. Here’s your salary: one penny a year. Die.

Hesding to Shitteez and ordering the Dookie Burger

You're gonna fuck me in my ass? I dont think you've got the fuckin inches, pal.

Bluesky would be better if it had ads mixed in with my friends posts, and posts by people I’m not following showing up as well, also all the posts should be out of order. Also there should be more stupid little dick fuckers on here saying shit that pisses me off.

Me and the boys are hanging out in the butcher's freezer and slapping the meat

The Knicks and their fans seem like a bunch of buttheads and fartknockers to tell you the truth

RT

Turd Operator vs. The Bricked Up Homie