Farting under the blankets and calling it “sweet heat”

rude label on this post means a human bluesky moderator had to read the thread about "Mike Poop" and decided my contribution did not meaningfully elevate the discourse. and for that. i am so, so, sorry .

Nice post, asshole. Why don’t you turn off the fuckin computer and go stroke your cock.

Sitting on a toilet thats constantly automatically flushing and feeling a cold sea wind blowing right onto my ass hole

Imagine a guy named Mike Poop. Let that one roll around in your brainium for a tic. Still with me? Good. Now imagine a guy named Mike Pee.

Bluesky would be better if it had ads mixed in with my friends posts, and posts by people I’m not following showing up as well, also all the posts should be out of order. Also there should be more stupid little dick fuckers on here saying shit that pisses me off.

I’m done with Bung. Now I’m on the lookout for some Fudd.

Hey needle dick. Go get me Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

You sure are smug for someone thats so fucking stupid. Someone ought to roll you into a muddy bog you dumbass

Elder millennial here. Where’s my garlic aioli you fuckin bitch?

Putting 1000 signs in my yard letting people know that I will annihilate them if they use my driveway to turn their car around

Accidentally going to a website on my phone and having it instantly heat up to 8000 degrees in my hand

Anyone on here got any tips about how to get more Bung

You’ve received a message from Mr. Hot Honey: >hey

Bending over to pick up a quarter, getting kicked in the butt and farting before face planting into a pile of donkey shit

Hey asshole. Park in front of my house again if you want to get a noseful of my homemade fart spray.

Just tried listening to something called Beethoven. Wow boring as fuck. If you like this shit I’m guessing you’re a dork who gets NO pussy. Fuck you. 🖕

Thinking about becoming a weird guy that makes people pissed off

You’re so stupid you couldn’t find your asshole with both hands even if da fuckin GOAT man was helping you look!

The sound I be making while reading some of y’all’s posts! youtu.be/q2yhrH2lAzI?...

Rolling around on the floor with the homies grunting and farting after a HUGE spaghetti dinner

Pissed off a guy in a camo hat by farting 20x during the national anthem

J. P. Morgan stands for Jacked Penis Morgan

That face the homies make when you walk into the room!

I'm in my nincompoop era

When I was a kid I used to get up at 5am with my older brother to watch reruns of MST3K. Now I wake up at 5am so I can go take a big fat shit.

Y’all got records by a band named “Anal Cunt”… but y’all ain’t got any Hootie?

Grabbing my footlong BLT at Uncle Tubbster’s Pig Trough

Getting a twelve inch salami at Chubby’s Fat Boy

Oh, do I want to Biggie size it for an extra three dollars? I dunno, let me ask my friends Ratfucker and Shit Turd real quick.

Erm... what the truck?

Putting a “kill your local pedophile” sticker on my car so everyone knows how much I love the wealthy pedophile cabal that controls all of our lives, led by the biggest fattest pedophile of them all who I voted for

Why don’t you pop on down to the loo and give your knob a twist

Getting a couple tutti fruities at my favorite bar Teddy’s Big Nasty

Swaggy McDookie

Buh-bye, dickhead.

It’s been snowing all day long and my weather app still says it’s “cloudy” with 0” of precipitation. Stupid!!! Die

The most vile, disgusting shitpig you’ve ever seen just said “I’m sooooo sowwy” in a voice that sounded just like SpongeBob. Don’t you feel bad for hurting his feelings now, fucker?

Here’s you, bitch.

Like reading my posts? That’s good. Otherwise, you don’t you go stick your dick in your ass?

If you post about crap, doo doo, pee, shittin ya pants, poop, pee pee, piss, crapping ya pants, shit, going crap, going pee, farting, shittin ya shorts, wetting ya pants… grow up