thinking about going ginger

I really need a tentacle dildo, I feel like I'm letting everyones expectations of me down

ever rub your eye and accidentally bend your eyelashes into your eye and they kinda stick in there and you can't get them out and once you do get them out it still feels like they're in there and that feeling lasts for like an hour? you're gonna miss that feeling when you're reincarnated as a fish

farts that smell worse than the poops is like trailers that are better than the movie

feeling sexual so i'm ordering food

instead of a dozen roses buy me a dozen boiled eggs and let me swallow them whole in front of you

it the stinky hours uh oh

if you ever need to be ghosted hmu !!

you'd think Ohio of all places would be like, the best place for a person to find somebody to love and just like, kick it and watch tv and play video games and hold hands. why this shit so hard, I'm cute, funny, mentally ill, trans—I'm the whole dang package!

jizz unavailable today—gett'n ready fer a dry one

when you're sleeping ur eating a moth every hour fyi

considering legal action against bsky for emotional distress caused by waking up every morning these past few days unsure whether my mutuals tab will be functioning, partially collapsed, or in active disrepair

good morning fellow wednesdayers harumph

PRAGMATA THOUGHTS - I think it's weird that you play a person completely covered, face and all, so the only skin you see is this blonde yt blue eyed child? like, if they don't address it, it's crazy weird right?? and if nobody else sees this, am I overthinking it or am I just seeing it clearly

I wonder if I scroll all the way down, it'll show me my first notification

sometimes I type the dumbest shit I ever read and still hit post

there was a time in my life when i saw cows every single day. i miss seeing cows every single day.

i need more vices

the notes the last one left are ridiculous—if ya'll can help out lmk?

i'm the 4th vox to run this account

asking my friends what color nipples they have for security purposes

okay i'm not paying for it and good luck and i can't say i'm sorry because that's admitting fault

me when i finish jacking awf and walk to the kitchen to get my cereal

I'm looking in your window—what do I see right now?

if I was being buried alive, stg I'd be so concerned about the dirt getting in my mouth like eww nasty

might only reply in gifs today sorry for that energy in advance

whenever I flush I yell to my crew "ABANDON SHIT!"

idk why but it really blows my mind that turkeys come from eggs

good morning bsky! I was a bit less interacty over the weekend. bad brain stuff. new week tho!

Cyprus Hill's far less successful follow-up to Insane In The Membrane

I want to get really fucking good at drawing frogs. like realistic frogs with kettles of tea and fez's on their heads

prompt: film you've watched more than six times with a gif. hard mode: no elm street, f13, hellraiser, halloween, chucky, phantasm, amityville, troma, empire, full moon, corman, begos, zombie, astron-6, kostanski, raimi, carpenter, romero, gdt

Penis Adventures with Dr. Corkscrew (he's a duck) i'm writing a book.

lining my pussy w LEDs, putting a gaming chair in there

hey has anybody heard from anyone having issues with 403 errors and not being able to log in for the last few days? @novembercuppa.bsky.social has been hit with this and i'm curious

introducing myself on a first date: hi sorry I'm so weird looking at most angles I promise we can have decent wedding photos with a good photographer 😬

bush blindness? maybe i'm tryin to look like tangela what then?

OMG a guy pulled over while I was on a walk and asked for my number! I was terrified and delighted, and I also politely declined and he was nice about it!

men b like "oOoOo wanna suck on my phallus?" NO BITCH NOT REALLY. BEGONE.

am i champ?

@profanity.accountant this is who runs this account btw

my caseworker is taking me to a local food pantry today! I'm so nervous though lol

I've given myself a 2-week "do better" challenge! it's kind of a loosey goosey challenge to set a deadline for myself for generalized goals because holy fuck I can't keep doing this. I really need a haircut tho to help feel better about myself but I'm broke as fuck so I'm over here in lidsville

imagining an orgy turned kink group game night because everyone was too shy

wish there was a cure for waking up

thanks to @rukira91.bsky.social this distressed kitty gonna be a real cool cat. thank you so much Andy—you, as we all know, are amazing <33

I love looking at everyone's nerdy stuff on here, and it honestly kinda makes it all the better when I have no clue what it is even about. like, what is the cool nerdy thing I'm looking at! it's all so fun (＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

does anybody else listen to the silence in their room and hear white noise ambience and then you try to kind of piece the white noise together into early 00s nu metal?

anybody wanna pee on me oh sorry for the typo I meant hi