don’t cross the line, there is plenty of coffee alternatives out there and better local spots

also one of my favorite authors just dropped another book in the series and my man already ordered it for me??? is today my day orrrr

there will be a new vanderpump rules this year??? wow thank you reality tv

when you say you don’t believe in washing your hands what do you mean

i am awake against gods will hello

us now that we whammed and bammed and he thanked me ma’am 😴

all the "body positive" celebs of the 2010s going on ozempic and abandoning their body positivity is making me go insane like it's wild to me that they were like "love your body, it's beautiful the way it is, there's nothing wrong with being thick <3" only until there was an easy way to become thin

trying to get whammed, bammed, and thank you ma’amd

i look up and 14 years have passed as i got lost on the #trinketshelf side of TikTok

good morning baddies and bastards

im gonna hold your hand when I say this, i love you

you’re closer to the B in ebt than the B in billionaire my guy

no sorry im pretty busy today gonna hangout at a circle k gas station and call women bitches for not accepting my advances

let’s go get breakfast besties

god wants me to stay in this blanket pile of warmth all day

i love scrolling this app and seeing y’all’s post and just liking them all immediately everyone is just so cool

it’s that time of the year i start making christmas snacks -chex mix -chocolate covered pretzels -cookies -crockpot anything -and a cheese ball

they just took a month long vacation and still said ‘fuck yall’. politicians and the jobs they don’t do challenge and they are really good at it.

this place is stupid, are you seeing what it’s like day to day? buy the lil trinket, get the lil game, have the lil treat. you truly deserve some delusion in these times.

frakenstein was so painfully beautiful, my heart aches for a fictional character

there is nothing a loaded baked potato can’t fix

a lot of you i would kiss, the rest of you i would fight

good morning gooners 💦

i cant remember the last time i was up this late i feel so wild feral carefree doing something incredibly and 100% regrettable with free will

who up regretting situations that were out of your control but you still feel the guilt gang

whoever decided to put the weenie (hotdogs) in the beanie (bean) really did something

i hate a lot of things but i will never hate someone for who they are or what they look like, that’s very ew.

got this lafufu goofy and it’s really bad and ugly but i love it even more because it’s so hideous like just down right ‘are you ok my guy’ looking i love him

about to girl boss my way right into his wallet and pay for this coffee order thanks

good morning friends, what’s our plans today? (:

what if i lived inside the little castle that’s inside a snow globe would you shake me crazy style so it snows??

felt kinda human today and not like a depression in the mattress

good morning it’s freak nasty friday

some days i look in the mirror and think damn god created a monster 😔 some days i look in the mirror and think damn god created a monster 😈

fuck, marry, kill -pancake -waffle -french toast

pls not before mommy’s had her two cups of coffee, hour later redbull, and lunchtime celsius

if its ruined a man did it

nothing makes me feel better about myself like watching trash reality tv in comparison im doing pretty well

hey meta set lasers to kill

i can’t sleep so im replaying every episode of Wife Swap in my head

Hey hey so I lost my job recently and I’m doing commissions in the meantime while looking for work to help paying bills. Please signal boost as much as possible

hey stomach cramps meet high mg edible

its thanksgiving, i made popcorn, jellybeans, and bread. are you coming over?

mood: sleepy personality: sleepy life: sleepy

as a woman, there is no rhyme or reason during menstruation, so it’s chips for breakfast and then an immediate nap

yall know if you sat down and counted a dollar every second it would take you 32,000 years to count a billion? eat em, eat them all.

my husband asked me if there was anything he could do for me and i pulled out a list from behind my back and he just left the room

oldest selfie in my phone this was 10 years ago in a dance studio