giving myself electroshock therapy by walking on the carpet in socks

i used to party like it was 1999 but that was back in 1999

would you like to hear about my dream?

So, you'd like to login via blacksky and re-connect with banned friend(s)? Web app is staging.blacksky.community. To login, you'll need to know your PDS (your mushroom, unless you self-host). You can get that from clearsky.app or many other places. Probably good to use an app password, too.

When I feel sad, I just crack open a couple batteries and suck all the lithium out

One frog at the pond #BlueskyArtShow #One #frog #pond #GreenSat #ColorADay #green #moss

brushing my teeth with cheeze wiz to get the calcium directly into them

Who saved this? : a bluesky mystery

my mom said if it's ok with your mom we could merge souls and become a single, abyssal entity that spreads corrupting influence across this mortal plane

The devil fetch ye, ye ragamuffin rapscallions; ye are all asleep. Stop snoring, ye sleepers

you can tell I'm not evil because my bank account is negative

you don’t have to post screenshots from X. you don’t have to re-skeet screenshots from X. you can light them on fire or flush them down the toilet or drive them out to a dark wooded area and bury them with your compost.

sportsball is happening, time to crack out this gem

don’t mind me, just watching this on repeat for an hour at a time

ive been giggling incessantly over this for weeks

tbh, we need to reclaim everything from neonazis. People who were born in 88 can't have a username with that number in it. Same with 14. The okay hand sign (👌) was taken by them and on and on and on. They have their own secret language. But at some point we need to say enough is enough.

Elmering my Fudd

Jumping in the cactus patch for free acupuncture

writhing around on the ground so I can imagine what it's like to be a snake

The greatest generation my ass. None of them, not a single one of them could kickflip

local hill giant says he has 'no regrets' for eating all the children in the village. 'what do we pay him for' asks the village seneschal, on his way to approve a bigger hill giant budget

Sorry, can't. Buying a monocle and a top hat for a dog today.

📢🔥listen up ✊antifa✊ super soldiers 🔥💃🏻🕺🏽🔥 at ATTENTION‼️🫡🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 throats open WIDE 👅😵 it's time to *take* 😳🔥 that NUT milk 🥥💦 every morning 🌅☀️ afternoon 🌞🌇♨️ and ALL NIGHT LONG 🥵🌃🕙 to win the WAR on dairy 🫡⚔️🐄 and save the planet ✨🌍✨ like good 😇🙏 lil' sluts 4️⃣ generations to CUM‼️🥵😵‍💫🤪💦

my free trial of life is expiring soon

I'm like if a buddhist monk was addicted to stimulants

Great product for your cousin who loves punching his drywalls

How can we be soulmates if you don’t like my butthole skeets?

Say what you will about school band nerds, but we were hardcore

Eminem doesn’t even like his mom. He should have given that spaghetti to someone who would have appreciated it

idk if you should be advertising your credentials here kleeb

no one has ever been happier than freya is when she lays down on the counter when we are using the dishwasher. it gets all toasty there and it is her favorite thing. i am a little jealous tbh and kind of want to try it

🥝 🥝 👃 👄

Insane Cheeseburger Posse

one of these days i'm going to look up the definition of the word praxis not today tho

Do you take your coffee with or without the ignorant bliss?

A joke for the history buffs: Germany’s satirical newspaper @der-postillon.com titles: “Vienna Academy of the Arts offers Trump admission as a student — They don’t want to get blamed again“

the people with this label on their account are god's most beautiful children

You will certainly not regret blasting dubstep while doing computer stuff and drinking strong caffeinated beverages.

Happy 11th anniversary of me losing my fucking mind over this QVC clip

Would you dine with him at the casbah? [Y/N]

Help! I have been locked away in some sort of glass prison for my misdeeds!

How do I become anticrastinating?

i support border collies without borders

There are people who've never met you, have never interacted with you, have never read anything you've posted, don't know anything about you or even that you exist, with almost zero chance of any that changing, but have blocked you because someone suggested it. Welcome to Bluesky.

Ask your downtown street-screamer if BlueSky is right for you.

they're doing this to my balls later