*races to airport *hurdles through security *sees her at boarding gate *shouts her name *she turns and sees me *romantic music swells “I RAN OVER YOUR CAT”

what year do you plan to time travel to during your missing hour this weekend maybe we should all meet somewhere we could throw a party in 1999

🇺🇸

To add a little whimsy to your day why not get a squeaky toy surgically implanted into your buttocks and just marvel at the endless hilarity that ensues every time you sit down?

i only use chatGPT for legal and medical advice

The older I get the more I appreciate Ben Kenobi.

Going at my own pace

Today's frog is the Montevideo tree frog.

Can the hour we lose tonight be the one where I’m awake wondering why I even exist

THE CLOCKS They're changing. It's time to do the clock thing. That means it's time to check your smoke alarms.

big storm passing through

the most evil thing about cbs news is they don't have an option for dark mode on their website

life after 40 is like a bowl of oatmeal: bland af, boring and unfulfilling

the great curse of life is seeing all these cool animals and not being allowed to hug them and and take them home and give them little treats instead i gotta just "appreciate the majesty of nature" and "carry the memories of ephemeral moments of awe". it's bullshit, i want to cuddle a grizzly bear!

Me: pls just let me sleep in til 8 Body: best i can do is 4 but you’ll start to get sleepy again just before work, if it makes you feel any better

When Grandpa found out was building a website, he said, "I've got something that might help," and gave me an old soldering iron.

Bullfrogs of the day! Saturday, 7 Mar 2026

sure, she's beautiful, but can you stand to be in the same room with her when she's having rank vegetable farts? that's what love is.

thinking of a product called "super milk" that's a blend of cow's milk, camel's milk, horse's milk and other miscellaneous animal's milk

why has no one made a soda called 'rizz'? it's so obvious. it's like the moxie of our age.

you can tie me to the train tracks while twirling your villainous mustache if you want to

Depression is my main squeeze, anxiety is my side piece.

yeah i listen to the classics

i like how if you don't open outlook for a couple days it completely forgets all the accounts i'm logged in to and acts like it's never heard of me. quality software, definitely not vibe coded by idiots.

his entire cabinet is just a bunch of weirdo bumbling cartoon villains

do people still run away to join the circus? that sounds like fun

i think the reason i always have a headache is because my brain is trying to escape my body

As someone who eats ram for food, the past year has been particularly tough for me.

🐸 #FrogForFridayEvenThoughItIsn’tFriday

wallpaper glue makes for a tasty treat when you're very hungry

i had a dream once that they had an mst3k with joel AND mike + the bots and it was so beautiful i could cry

i'd love to get swept away into the balmy deep from here

Nelson then demanded Milhouse's unconditional surrender

They wont let me edit Rotta the Hutt's wookiepedia to say he also has a fat girthy penis even though I have a valid citation

Today feels like a good day to frolic

found an ancient artifact

I'm a bit sore, from my life

[googling] how to monetize belly button lint

God gave us these beautiful bodies and said, now use the computer

I hate it when somebody in a movie has a problem. Can’t they just have a nice time

mysteries bro

“No,” said Frog.

I hate people who act like they're smarter than me just because they went to a fancy college and have a higher IQ and are gooder at thinkings.

everyone knows all n64 cartridges are haunted

I wanna learn Latin but I’m afraid I might mispronounce some words and accidentally cast a spell.

The oven turned our pizza jet black, the water main broke, and my car got repossessed. All while we were watching Happy TV.

i don't get it