My sister went back to jail, but that helped the probate attorney find her so we can settle all of this Sherri has stabbed a guy before, don't play with her

bro are you fucking kidding me

The govt is never opening back up so I guess my family just keeps going on 40% of our income indefinitely? I’m going to have a panic attack

I am not a particularly religious man but “Mr. Beast-themed amusement park funded by the Saudis” just feels like a place a holy war needs to be waged upon

I hope he vows to strike again www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...

We've got a cool new part-time, remote opportunity with our group. It’s a 10-week project-based Quantitative Research internship (paid) with the expectation of 15 hours/week of work. We designed this with students in mind, but open to anyone. Apply at link: job-boards.greenhouse.io/detroitlions...

RFK had just sold that guy some colloidal silver, he had to dip, he’s got two strikes

*man passes out* Onlooker: thank goodness! The person in charge of American healthcare is here! RFK Jr: first of all who here is circumcised?

That is how it works, exactly, no further clarifications needed, TikTok comments are definitely legal advice

Sorry for the phone recording the monitor but I write sql not edit video, and everyone loves Pau Talk to him Pau

We are going to win. Normal people hate this shit

They counted on making Chicago mad and provoking violence but what they did instead was viscerally disgust any human with even the slightest sense of morality and it’s not gonna go the way they want

WATCH body cam video of an ICE agent arrested for DUI after his shift at the Broadview facility. He crashed into some bushes after officers found him asleep at the wheel and knocked on the window. "Oh this is a fun one,” the officer tells his sergeant. www.chicagotribune.com/2025/11/05/i...

Got a few shots up after my son's practice tonight and the old man has still got it. Gonna get a 10-day and tear my achilles

Can’t wait for actual Nobel winners to troll him about his Temu peace prize

Dude at Lunds was carrying his dog. My guy that’s even worse, the dog nastiness is elevated now

It should cost $200 to bring your dog into the grocery store

Anyone else have a “moving for a job at the drop of a hat” story like this? I know I do. New episode of the SilentPunt podcast, featuring our interview with Aaron Blackshear of the Houston Rockets, drops today.

*whispers * awoo

Wife: what music do you want to listen to? Son: Imagine Dragons I have failed as a father

If you honk at a green light before a minimum of 5 seconds, a trap door should open and drop your car into the shadow realm

One of the thousand reasons I could never run for office, because if they treated me like this dude every answer would be what the fuck did you just say to me?

It should cost $10 to honk your horn

LECTER: What became of your sandwich, Clarice? STARLING: It kind of exploded. LECTER: You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and smell the onions and the mustard. STARLING: [choking up] Yes.

Thread. Never get financial advice from tiktok.

Good morning Minneapolis, don't rank Frey!

An order of chicken fingers is called a hand. “Gimme a hand of fingies,” you say. If you want dipping sauce you ask for them to “paint the nails.”

can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.

you can convincingly portray this whole financialized AI edifice as a mortgage crisis-style house of cards without even mentioning that the fundamental product is unreliable, based on outright theft, and people don’t like it.

“But then god hardened Mamdani’s heart…” Ackman builds the golden Musk. Bloomberg comes down the mountain and smashes the terminal. Cuomo: “do I have to get water out of this rock for you?” Eric Adams: “Nefretiri was looking like a whole snack. I took her to dinner in Damascus once”

It's not in this article but the government asserts that the sandwich was thrown at "point blank range", which implies subway sandwiches have defined effective weapon ranges of varying lethality, and I would like to see the government's chart of these ranges.

Once again there is too much twitter content on here, I deleted that app from my phone for a reason

Some people use Bluesky like this

Oh this was the video that (some) people on here were baselessly saying had to be AI because it was so insane. Anyway this is standard ICE operating procedure now: crash into your car, violently drag you through the street at gunpoint, & then have tricia mclaughlin lie that you were assaulting them

Minneapolis! Excellent thread on the election for mayor tomorrow. In short: DON’T rank Frey, a liar and coward who just serves money. DO rank Davis, Fateh and Hampton in whatever order you choose. This great city deserves better!

Dark meat, stuffing, and three slices of apple pie. Yes I have diabetes

It’s the least important part but why does he talk like this? “Lethal kinetic strike on narco-terrorists” man STFU

our neighbor got abducted the other day and the neighborhood is raising money to help out his wife and kids until he gets free. Any help/shares are appreciated gofund.me/7c2338d40

Weird Al Yankovic - Even Worse from Shopko in Kenosha, WI in 1988

Stop trying to optimize everything. Wing it

I want 10 more tattoos but I shouldn’t spend money right now. Who wants to give me some jail tats?

Ron knows you can’t even buy hot prepared food with food stamps, which is why he said weaves and not fried chicken

Blue-footed boobies

I do not want a robot to load the dishwasher, or a flying car, or data centers in space that create automatic email summaries, I just want to stop feeling constant anxiety about losing access to health care

There are bonafide monsters stalking the earth eagerly and enthusiastically distributing suffering to anyone they please. And with no recourse on our end but to film them and shout and beg for anyone with power to stop them. How convenient that the monopoly on violence always also acts as a shield.