Before i lose myself

about me:

happy january 2nd to all who celebrate!

If i did a regular (monthly or weekly) storytelling comedy show in Chicago, would you come?

Uduujjcdudydufikv

Almost skeeted.

Hashtag men's business. Lifting whole driveshafts and steering linkages on one shoulder >>> Capitalism has some benefit, I suppose

👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bro...a lady's husband called me about his wife and i asked him if he thought he could stop me from taking her. "This ain't a good sign."

ROMANCE.

Read more to expand your vocabulary and phrasing, so your compliments make her need to "freshen up."

"Won't need a hoveround to take you where you wanna go, fucking with me!" - you, a real one

I post workout vids as proof of concept. 🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mind you they started legislation around women's self defense specifically because we do try to defend ourselves throughout history. Notably the hat pin! Threatening Style: Clothing Laws and Enforcement from 1880-1930 – Femme Fashion Forward 1880-1930 share.google/fmudkMZ6cNol...

Man we used to be RUMBLING in my granny house! I threw the piano bench at that nigga 😭

How extreme is Jim O’Neill, Deputy Health Secretary who just froze federal childcare funding to every state based on a viral video? As a leader of the Seasteading Institute, he praised selling human organs on the free market b/c “There are plenty of healthy spare kidneys walking around, unused” 1/2

Five on the Black Hand Side and that is the lovely Ja'Net DuBois bka Willona Woods

You need the evening action...(baba doobadoo doobadoo doobadoobadoodoo)

People don't know what they didn't know. Imagine NOT killing your husband when they don't even have tox screens. 😂

There was a bullet hole in the baseboard of my bedroom at my grandmothers house. She caught my grandfather out and about with another woman. The story goes that she was more upset that the woman wasn't Oromo than with the cheating. Either way, she pieyowed and barely missed his head

Hi, I’m everything, everywhere, all at once.

The problem with USians and socialism is most of them bought the definition of socialism that was given to them by capitalists. That's asking a Klansman to define Black people. If all you learned about socialism was taught to you by people who believe capitalism is the only valid system...

Socialism doesn't mean you gotta stop being a bad bitch

Unless there is something not being reported this headline and "story" is so misleading and very nasty work.

I keep saying...you being heavy ain't the issue. Because even if you are...why he can't lift heavy things? He not strong? Be strong.

Ummm, read the article yall…

IM WILLING TO BET YOU DONT KNOW WHAT SOCIALISM AND COMMUNISM ARE. I'M WILLING TO BET YOU DON'T KNIW WHAT FASCISM IS. I'M WILLING TO BET YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CAPITALISM IS. I'M WILLING TO BET YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ZIONISM IS. Prove me wrong please! Please know.

Happy Introvert day. May you enjoy your day actively ignoring others. 💕✨

If you insist

uh holy SHIT?

my exH: I don’t understand why our child is always kicking soccer balls and running around the house! me:

I love you for reminding me❤️

Quanta firfir

So glad you are bad at one thing❤️.

hi, I’m diabetic ketoacidosis hi, I’m the measles sup, everyone, I am also Depression

❤️👀s

hi, i am pregnancy for a black person in america

Hi there I'm peritonitis due to ovarian torsion.

One thing I wrote about here is how technology has made buses *way* more convenient while techno-futurists were obsessed with flying taxis and self-driving cars.

This what i want to look like in a regular hoodie. Bulletproof the titties.

I blocked someone on IG for calling me pretty and asking if we could chat. Nope, we can’t. I’m not interested in getting to know or having a talking phase with anyone. I don’t care about your preferences. I’m not gonna help you raise kids. No! Alexa, play “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”

Hi, I'm my mom. Hi, I'm a rival drug dealer. Hi, I'm NYPD. Hi, I'm stress. Hello, I'm depression. Hey there! Im systemic racism❤️.

So...just hockey?

I been doing pushups. Lemme lift you mamas 🙂‍↕️

Ain't no let when you strong enough.