I would love to be in a dark corner getting felt up on while wearing a very short skirt with a very high heel.

Start the night with an old fashioned, end the night with a French 75

Now THAT was an old fashioned. Whew. I'm glad I walked here

☺️

Boop

I'm going to go have a very good old fashioned and a dessert from my favorite little bar down the street

Family! I need all hands on deck! This young woman desperately needs her car. A car accident set her behind tremendously and now she has lost her vehicle - which she needs to make money & get back & forth to school. Without it she cannot do either! Please help! www.gofundme.com/f/support-br...

Let me go put on a brow and a red lip and go to happy hour. I look good

Y'all. My afro is at peak fluff. I simply must leave my home this evening.

The first line thrills me.

None of us are surprised. Congratulations!!

Oh he pretty.

The only one I haven't listened to is JID, so I need to, bc I loved all the others.

KEEP. THE LORD. IN. MIND. WHEN YOU DIRRRTYYY WIIIINNEE

Van Jones look like that Black guy Nomi kicked in the nuts and then fucked on Showgirls.

I was going to push myself to rebraid my hair tomorrow and then I remembered that I don't have to. I don't love dealing with my hair too frequently because I feel like I put additional stress on it, but it has been a while since I've thrown on a wig

Half my braids out. My neck is SO relieved.

If I am going to move away from Spotify I need a really good service to change my playlists... What do y'all do? Is there something I can transfer them to... Tidal, I guess? Because I'm not getting apple music...

I remember going to my homeboy's house for some reason or other, seeing how he lived and asking him seriously if he was actually getting pussy with his house looking the way that it looked. He said yes, and I told him that the women he was fucking didn't respect themselves bc he was disgusting.

Y'all keep boycotting Starbucks! I hope y'all never stopped. Fuck Starbucks! More power to the workers! More power to the unions!

Hey, do you call the mayor's wife the first lady?

The moon is MOONING.

I also really enjoy doing it to not men

It is my favorite thing. I enjoy it so much.

And you would be correct

This place has such a cute patio.

Listen. I was telling somebody I don't even need to know if you're WLW or not, you'll let me know that you're straight once I ask.

Stone Mountain been going through it. Good for them

All these brands and influencers and celebrities trying to sell me cheap, useless junk. I’m tired of it. Everyone has their hand out to get richer. Nobody is reading the room. Please get the fuck out my face.

This is why I be taking breaks.

Bluesky the only place where I feel like nobody is trying to sell me anything and if anyone is or posting gofund mes that’s different cos I support small business, sex workers, and mutual aid…

He been fine since before I could express what fine was.

If you be wanting people to guzzle and you won't even taste it then they shouldn't have to taste it either

let's go....

Somebody's sanctified studsband scream-singing her ass off at this funeral in a bowtie, baseball cap and sagging pants shouldn't be so hysterical but today....I guffaw

I'm posting this before I click on this video to listen to the sound because I'm nosy but I feel like I might wish I hadn't once I do.

All the sandwich puns are so delightful

And from an auntie, who has learned the hard way: Get a journal, or tell the group chat. Cenetta did that so you don't have to, okay?

I've never seen this episode but I'm a fan of her method.

HELLO SOMEBODY Will tell you to get off me so quickly.

I am at the age now where you will never be able to insult me for being old, or older or anything because I am aware enough of my own mortality to only have gratitude. I have been someone's literal auntie since I was 6 years old, and I have enough gratitude to be thankful for aging

I pray y’all get to the stage where y’all stop using “Auntie” as an insult because 1. Many of us have aunts we love and respect (and they love and reapect us) 2. Make it plain if you wanna call someone an old (bitch) just do it, if you are that bold 3. Making it an “insult” will eventually bite ya

Also.. if you feel shamed by your wild, embarrassing story, maybe that's not such a bad thing? Shame has an important place in our society because it helps to dictate what behavior should be acceptable. Bring. Back. Shame.

She's made it clear who she is. She ain't playing.

(using auntie as a pejorative is an indicator of who you are and how you think. I'm pretty sure the Venn diagram between people who do stuff like that and post shit like that on social media is a giant circle.)

I was about to ask what I just read, but you know what? It's my fault, it's my fault for going to search for the post describing what might be straight women's worst nightmare. And so instead of asking what I just read and also why anyone would want to bring that back here to tell..

Boy shorts don't do nothing but piss me off because my booty eat them too and I can feel it. So now I'm just walking around all day with a wedgie

I will wear a thong when I know somebody is going to take it off real quick. I will wear a thong on stage. But most of my underwear does not leave a line or a press or a print because it is that thin So I don't have that issue because I do hate a panty line. They are the worst