This is the kind of sensible mass transit we are missing in America

We'll just toss a few virgins in there, im sure that will work.

Overheard my brother in law telling his wife he wanted a "ninja creamy" and im scared to Google it but maybe I want one too?!?

He'll vote yes. He cares more about his political career than his family.

Express your current mental state as a spongebob character

Thanksgibbng diner 2 electran bo[galoo

And upon entering my room, found this, a true thanksgiving miracle.

That face when you just keep the dog you found and now its your dog because no microchip and no one on fb claimed him and he's a pretty good dog except he won't stop peeing on your olive trees but you basically got a free, already house-trained dog delivered to your door almost exactly a year after

WELL HELLO

VDLM2 Message From: N85356 / YV4005 Message: HAPPYYY TURKEY DAYYY GOBBLE.GOBBLE AND THANKS WERE CRAWLING TO IAH THIS MORNING. SHMOOTHE THO NO COMPLAINTS HOW YO DAY Track Aircraft: https://www.flightradar24.com/N85356 Area: Washington DC, USA #acars #vdlm2 #N85356 #YV4005

Going to try a new appetizer this Thanksgiving. I like baby bels more than string cheese, so here goes nothing. I figured since im already deep frying two turkeys, I might as well sneak in some other fryables.

More like "lunchadora" am I right?

Wait, you'll know

Pov ur working on Thanksgiving eve

Reader, it is tuesday.

Everyone dunking on this and rightly so, but my mind has concocted a delicious new pie: Orange Marmalade Perhaps I will attempt this holiday season to bring it to, um, fruition.

Guys, I have a (checks amazon market cap on google) 3.2 trillion dollar idea

New Carl Adrenochrome Wehadababyitsaboy

Me flirting

Did you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile? Did you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife?

Everyone is focusing on the "straight" and "girlfriend" parts, but what if "2025" is the operative word? Have you considered that he's a time traveler? You're laughing and he's a time traveler.

You can mac my roni

My bad

if our food didn't have plastic in it and everyone wasn't worrying about being herded off to a labor camp, maybe we would be horny more?

This is where I skeet from

Babe wake up, new Cow Tools just dropped

I would appreciate it if you removed that post.

i will respect his preferred pronunciation and nothing else about him

New Banksy just dropped

New idea for a Snickers commercial: "We put the 'dick vein' back. Because you're not you when you're horny"

Breaking Bad: The Animated Series

If they had torn down the original house and just built the modernist addition as a stand alone, no one would have batted an eye. There's dozens of these in Raleigh. OLD neighborhoods, getting rows of these.

When they yell my wife's name down the jetway: "GO BIRDS!"

Not washing your hands, not washing your hair, but a secret turd thing. Sorry, THIRD thing.

I got banned on a reddit group, they posted a picture of what looked like a shell from an old war and asked "how do I tell if its live". I said hit it with a hammer. Banned, no warning, no nothing.

The "Falling Wallstreetendas" if you will

iiiiiiiiii'mmmmm Gonna ssssssssoak up the ssssssssun I'm gonna tell everyone to slither up

I visit a number of shelters due to my work, and yeah, its all pits everywhere

BRO WHAT IS YOU DOING

HAHAHAHA, BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL INDEED

⬇️ Marie Antoinette alt acct ⬇️

Why are you rolling stones when you could be rolling a fat doobie

GET THEE BEHIND ME, CYCLEISTS

He gets into this issue in the video, if you bet that a player WON'T do something, you can guarantee your bet by 🔫 them