Johannes Gutenberg: I'm on some movable printed type shit

Me, age 6: How come all the grown-ups in my life are so sad around Christmas? Don't they like presents? Me, age 36: Oh

Chomsky and Foucault debating the meaning of the term Ephebophilia

New York Times HR manager poring over Epstein files to scout potential new hires

Going to Kiwifarms and getting a little hurt when I find out they dont have a thread on me

Third Knives Out movie was really good. Captures a certain type of ultra-online Catholic fascist with a well-observed specificity that I thought was lacking in the first two films which had more of a generalized approach toward skewering modern cultural malaise

Getting Naloxone kit to jab into my friends heart any time she considers buying pack of Magic cards

DJ Rodney Bangerfield

I can absolutely trace a recent spate of extreme depression to using Instagram more for business purposes. Why does it shriek at you? every post on Insta is someone doing a series of DreamWorks faces who makes me sad that I dont have one of the trendier eating disorders

This is my favourite institution name of all time

Me: so I broke my arm Canadian doctor: MAID Me: uh, is that the only...? Canadian doctor: (producing two buckets of bubbling green liquid) so do you want 'painful?' Or 'extremely painful?'

Performing circumcisions by doing a tiny kamehameha

They are doing eugenics based on your favourite Eeveelution

Millennial who has been despondent and bedridden since the Hillary Clinton Broad City cameo

(Guy in HAZMAT suit runs Geiger counter over me resulting in wild and dense flurry of clicking noises) Me: sick beat, mind if I sample it?

In order to more effectively communicate with the great unwashed i am developing a political rhetoric where every word is a slur

Tough to be serial killer when your only means of transport is the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile

To get the heat off Trans people, I am inventing an even more irresistible scapegoat. First quarter 2026 we're soft-launching Shrung People

Here's a photo of me. Why not?

HRT Milestone: I lactated! 😊 and this time it was only 65% blood 😄

There are new pieces of original art available on the Haus of Decline store! hausofdecline.bigcartel.com Additionally, past unsold pieces have been marked down! Here are some examples of the new work that is available!

(Voice beckoning from amulet) please help, I've been trapped in here by a dark sorcerer for 10,000 years! Me: why dont you just move to a city?

Everyday I fight the nigh irresistible urge to dropkick someone riding their e-bike on the sidewalk

Of course the British are transphobic. Their most iconic building is big clock

Lots of original art still available including the sapphic Phillie Phanatics! Buy one for Christmas for your weirdest friend!

walter cronkite told america we lost the vietnam war on this channel

getting the FFS where they just remove your entire skull

the boobcentric valuation of HRT results must end. i see girls with incredible asses who have been led to believe by society that they have nothing

It's funny how much of Nick Fuentes' delivery and timing is cribbed from Jon Stewart

another great reason to buy one of these: haus might draw your fursona on the packaging

9 pieces have been sold already! Here are a couple more that are still available!

There are new pieces of original art available on the Haus of Decline store! hausofdecline.bigcartel.com Additionally, past unsold pieces have been marked down! Here are some examples of the new work that is available!

Cameron Winter's music is naturally pleasing to me because he sings like Cher

the gamers yearn for shadow hearts

Male friendships reached their peak in 2014 when it was mostly about yelling "my name Jeff" back and forth to each other

Why do I feel so bad all this time? Maybe this next compilation of gruesome caving deaths will cheer me up.

I have solidarity with all Trans people. If Pol Pot had taken hormones, I would be forced to stan my imperfect sister

The Epic of Gilgamesh is historically significant as the world's first Yaoi

I will not get an orchiectomy unless they allow me to Kobe my biological refuse into nearby trash can

Humiliation fetish has progressed to needing 5'8" point guard to cross me up before I can reach orgasm

I am drinking water out of a shallow bowl. In this way, I am very spiritual

The longest book I read this year was individual yugioh cards

I am so sick, that I reverted to an ur-state of internet entertainment-seeking and I started watching old Vine compilations and Norm Macdonald clips. Then I started weeping uncontrollably due to reminiscence of the crushing passage of time.

I want to thank the Raptors for sucking recently. I couldn't become emotionally invested in another sport.

Justin was a guest on the @hausofdecline.bsky.social patreon podcast Geyblade about the Beyblade anime if you want to sign up for that and a new comic series! www.patreon.com/posts/geybla...

New comic on Patreon! www.patreon.com/posts/i-dont... Subscribe to see the full comic. Also subscribe to see the dance moves I submitted to Fortnite that were rejected becaused they reminded the lead developer of his overbearing mother.