what was i like as a kid? well, when my face wasn’t buried in a science book i was pirouetting around while also for some inexplicable reason singing ode to billy joe

These Red dead nettle flowers look sad, as if they’ve had a falling out. #WildflowerHour

if you want to actually like any of the protagonists Wuthering Heights is not the book for you if you are just here for Mess it is an incredible time

Minor to moderate geomagnetic storms could make the aurora visible further south, forecasters said.

We should be able to mute vibes on here too

when I die I’m coming back as a southern gothic character

not now babe. i’m manifesting a hot masc golden retriever gf

Later on HGTV, we’ll turn a linen closet into an affordable sex dungeon.

i don’t particularly care to know what frasier was talking about with that tossed salad and scrambled eggs shit.

i just wanna feel whatever cats do that has them making biscuits

i am going to eat the mona lisa

We're all traumatized by something it's how we juggle the feelings and anger is what matters..

i’m not like other parasitic fungi my cordyceps will make you boogie

sitting alone in the dark, quietly sobbing, eating candy hearts from a giant bowl with a wooden spoon

Declaring tomorrow a feral holiday

pleased to introduce Kidwelly, @asclepiasrosa.bsky.social found her and was very determined it was time 😃

puppies are the same tbh

i would not want to have a seven hours long tantric sex session with sting

"TIMELINE CLEANSE!" I shout before dousing my phone in acid.

You all have some unrealistic conditions for what would “heal you”. Me, I just need 2 AA batteries and 24 million dollars

learned the hard way not to hokey pokey anywhere

it’s like, i want the country road to take me home and i’d love to be in a place where i belong, but is that really west virginia?

i bet it would feel so good if we could put our bodies into low power mode

👅

who up buying sizzlean on the dark web

If I can’t do it in my robe, I don’t wanna do it

Any bread can be sourdough bread if you don't wash your hands when you're making it

should you attempt to sweep me off my feet please put some plastic sheeting or a tarp down in case you drop me and i break open like a piñata my candied organs are extra gooey and no one needs that mess

Wonka told Charlie the other children would be fine. But, come on, we're all adults. No one ever saw those kids or their parents again.

Society: hey those rich guys are doing some pretty heinous shit Rich guys: uh oh...um...hey what do you all think about pronouns Society: holy shit we need to figure out this gendered bathroom thing, those rich guys doing heinous shit will have to wait. This is gonna take a while

babies are such bullshit. i’ve had my babies, raised my babies and yet every time i see a baby i think “i’d have another baby” that’s some kind of devil magic right there.

Shooting magneto in the dick with a wooden bullet fired from a plastic gun

thought i had to fart but it was just another baby

check out these buns

Why arent more things made out of soup

me back on my bullshit

they should do the jurassic park thing and bring dinosaurs back but only the sexy ones

call me a crazy bitch but i think it’s a good thing that people are outraged over illegal and immoral behavior

it's just a little dart frog toxin bro don't be such a baby

Jeez it’s only one day after Valentine’s Day and the stores already have their Ides of March stuff out on display

Is it just me or does everyone get nervous when they're stealing a car

sorry Pink Floyd, turns out that we needed education. a lot of it. all of the education, really

i say things and then i say other things and that’s bsky for ya

This town’s plenty big for the both of us. Get in here

If I die of a papercut infection, I just want all to know I fought courageously against paper

roses are red it's sunday and raining at least it's not monday but i'm still complaining

Patty then progressed to the more advanced stages of sleep happiness

imagine you’re a ghost watching people get interviewed about paranormal stuff they’ve seen in the building where you live and you’re just like “get out of my house, weirdos.”

hello kitty could fix this