shiny distractions abound

If you're seeing this, it's a sign from the Universe to see this. You're welcome.

If you hear moaning and groaning in the woods it's just me getting dragged back into the bog

I threw my tender heart in a blender for the new year. It seemed appropriate.

I think I could really get into being in absentia.

they said pick your poison, so i went with simple sugars

I very much enjoy writing things on sticky notes and never looking at them again

back in my day, beans used to be cool

Clad in common rags and misconceptions.

If anyone sneezes then others respond with "bless you!" But after a cough, hiccup, or belch? Quiet indifference.

Drove home through a watercolor twilight instead of the dark. Nice.

Sigh…if it’s not one thing it’s 17 others

Me: hi, how are you? Customer: miserable Me: well that's good

Repeat after me: the fancy soaps aren't candy

Remember aching for someone? That was cool and horrible.

the sunset through my balls✨🤣

*notices what you changed about your look and kindly compliments you about it*

I’m not “ruin your life” crazy, I’m “alien conspiracies and unorthodox lifestyle” crazy

I remember 2025 like it was just a few days ago

I hope Bat Boy is somewhere safe during these trying times.

Despite all my rage I'm still just gray, middle-aged

The baby.

*throws a tissue box at you

no no no no, dear stranger, the time for new year’s salutations has ended

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway” - Edgar Allan Poe Me:

The haunted snowy owl queen would like a word with whooom

This surely is what it feels like being sucked into a black hole.

Every day I learn that I know so much less than what I would like to and more than I care for.

A cease and desist letter for singing quietly in the shower

weird dreams, weirder reality

happy ‘oh shit, my bills were due yesterday!’ day to all who celebrate

[Rubbing snail slime on my face] Is it working? Am I pretty yet?

New year, more meh.

foto: Charles Glatzer

shiptoast

Too Much Sports

WELL MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, YOU SHOULDN’T DESCRIBE YOUR BABY AS “BOUNCY” THEN?

Among the lesser of mechanisms.

I have fuzzy socks and a burning desire to lounge around. As one does.

I just learned that this is a Valais Blackneck Goat, and I thought you all should see it, too.

The palpable relief I felt putting the Xmas decorations away was wild.

Looking for my next ghost.

i really get a kick out of pretending to be a ball

There are people that find forgotten money in their coat pockets. I just found a spork in mine

This skeet is stolen.

yeah, just toss me in that cesspool over yonder

somewhat legit minimally legit enough to not quit

we need a Disney princess who’s ready to throw down against other Disney princesses