I tested positive for the DGAF gene

My most fantastical utopian belief is that we can actually achieve a world where people can discuss politics, voting, democracy or anything without having to attack, insult, condescend or dismiss someone else to do it, even when our strategies are different for the same goals.

Funny thing. The gold place wouldn't buy my wedding ring. Want to know why? Because only the middle band was 14k gold. The surrounding bands were something else, presumably silver. Heading back to Bosnia to find the motherfucker who sold it to me in 2011.

Eurocentrism erroneously thinks AAVE is bad grammar & speech. That's false. Every human dialect used in currency among people operates by its own grammar & syntax & rules, & AAVE has them, & if you break them you don't speak it right, & if you never bother to learn them you sound foolish.

one small joke for a poster, one giant banger for posterkind

bluesky is down because people weren't using enough alt text

one thing about me is that i’ll struggle to open a wrapper for five minutes before i use the scissors in front of me

when bsky was down i held my children for the first time in months

I’ll have you know my dear mother maintains an uptime of 99.999% and is highly available!

just like your mom, bluesky went down again haha i bet nobody has ever posted this *SEND*

"still punk as fuck," I whisper as I am very nice to people all day

Male Loneliness Empanada

is it don’t sleep on your side it’s don’t sleep on your side, isn’t it

Guys I know we are joking around about the site being functional but social media apps only do this when they’re very stressed.

Latest Artemis II Photo Proving Problematic For Science

Netflix plants your dna at various crime scenes while you are asleep.

A rabbit is just a frog cat

pixel Danny DeVito #pixelart #ドット絵

Easter? I barely West her!

It's not so much that I avoid conflict, I just lose the argument before it happens.

if you see me posting I am either on a bathroom break or in line at Kroger‘s

Sorry I'm late. There was an online form and I had to scroll to my birth year.

I don't really know what beyond the pale means, but I'm pretty sure we are there. Using context clues and everything.

If you ask me, someone needs to remind these guys that crimes are illegal.

GOD: just got your text are you still in the cave

If the sign says "We Have Balloons" I'm going in.

parenthood will have you seriously considering driving 200 miles at bedtime to retrieve a single stuffed raccoon your daughter forgot at grandma’s house

"kool-aid man, when the walls fell"

bots are improving everyday

Artemis II crew returning to Earth.

Listen, lady, if you’re gonna live rent-free in my head, could you at least not make such a mess of the place?

praise be to allah, bomboclaat, thank u for ur attention to this matter

Mute = I like you but I just can’t right now (I review occasionally) Unfollow = who is this? when did I start following this person? Block = grow up

Private accounts would be nice but muting also helps a great deal

I'm always sad there's not a huge smiley face or "gr'thwpor was here" in big letters on the far side

me: this edible ain’t shit also me, 45 minutes later:

This is why we’re going back to the moon. To kill it.

i asked Ai if trump attended the white house easter egg roll this year and after it replied no i asked why not and wow, maybe let’s keep this stuff out of the classrooms

[flight school] me: those are the chuggy bois Instructor: Those are CFM International LEAP-1B high-bypass turbofan engines me: chuggy bois

You can learn a lot about a person from where they fall on the Armageddon-Deep Impact x Volcano-Dante’s Peak preference chart. Are you: 1. Armageddon-Volcano 2. Armageddon-Dante’s Peak 3. Deep Impact-Volcano 4. Deep Impact-Dante’s Peak. I feel like most people are 1s or 4s (I am personally a 4).

considering a personality change where i become "that lady who's always carrying around a loose ladle of soup"

your words bloom spilled ink into my mind dancing sound and muted light they wrap me up tight stitch wings to my spine crack the shell of my heart sometimes soften and enchant me whisper and rend me in two lick your lips and i burst into tongues of flame blushing heat made new

When it happens please wake me up no matter what time, even if I'm under general anesthesia... interrupt me no matter what, because, to badly quote When Harry Met Sally "when you realize the greatest celebration of the past 10 years is happening, you want to start celebrating as soon as possible."

they should invent a tummy that doesn't hort

oh yeah that definitely happened

Hummingbirds are the drones of the bird world.

warming up my nipples in the oven

*going commando underneath my spacesuit*

can someone please help me, i’m still at the fyre festival.