I once accidentally introduced two Gregs to each other

stealing valor by claiming everyone’s anonymous NGL responses are mine

i wish i had a sandwich in my life

I'll fight your boss for $30

meme of Bong Joon Ho making his Oscars kiss but instead he is holding me and you

MY SISTER (looking at the full moon): wowww it’s so big! it’s like pulsating, do you see that? ME: I think that’s your astigmatism

this could be us but you playin’

Reverse cowgirl so I can subtly remove the “kick me” sign someone taped to your back

lord i see what u have done for others

meme of Bong Joon Ho making his Oscars kiss but instead he is holding me and you

them: iykyk me: what?

this is weird is it ok to have hope i think it’s ok to have hope at least for a day

imagine being in The Beach Boys and that one guy was always like, hey how about a song about surfing

tone policing several LG appliances

Right about now, the honk shoo brother

pronouncing “envelope” like “Penelope”

has anyone seen my cat

it's almost my birthday in case y'all want to start saving up

Personally, and this is just my opinion,. But I think Mike Johnson should be buried up to his neck and have a bucket full of red ants placed over his head

the moon is mighty big tonight and either I will eat it whole or it me

charging my tampons in the full moon

if you start your period during the super moon you get to kill one dude

do cats know they’re soft

We all have those 478 people we can't stand

me: i think the hardest part about being raised in an abusive environment is it encodes negative thinking and you have to spend your whole life with that internal struggle cam model using google translate: you are make me sad husband

us @ the moon tonight

VOICEOVER: in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet entirely opposite, groups: the police, who are afraid of sandwiches, and sandwich wielders, armed with food consisting of two pieces of bread filled with meat, cheese, and vegetables. these are their stories.

bluesky should have a labeler for posts that are jokes

do I need to have seen Woke 1 to understand Woke 2?

the lunar beave looks so plump tn

can the government give me billions of dollars too. i’m dumb and can make shit up better than a computer

Are you trying to tell me she didn't vote for Sliwa?

If at least 26 billionaires can waste at least $27 million trying to defeat Zohran Mamdani, then those same billionaires can afford to pay an extra 2% on their income over $1 million to make New York a better, thriving city for everyone — including themselves.

and ongoing bit between me and my ex is that our dog is a staunch conservative bc she’s originally from Kentucky now I’m picturing her catatonic in a red beret and it never gets old

booping Dave Portnoy’s nose on his way out as an act of violence

All you gotta know is that dogs are creating polycules now

Big titted goth bimbos for the communist revolution

lib laubh lobe

wokeness today

do I need to have seen Woke 1 to understand Woke 2?

he was white, an undesirable perhaps, but he made do. all things considered—despite being a young white male—he was pretty fly actually

He's a 10 but he keeps rehashing played out post formats

you've got to click around on this map, and the graphics here ... it's astounding. @haidee.bsky.social did such a great job with this:

[watching icarus fall] oh no ur so sexy aha

whomst amongst us hasn't done butt stuff when we get mad at each other? hmmmm?

Let's not cheapen this moment with the truth.

NYC

Nothing is more urgent than my mother reaching me to let me know that someone I met once as a child has died

I know one thing, this white boy will be squeezing “inshallah” into every conversation at Thanksgiving