What i bring to the bluesky Christmas potluck

What i bring to the bluesky Christmas potluck

What i bring to the bluesky Christmas potluck

Me every time I get a notification: who’s this slut

“I shaved my pussy for THIS?” I say, not having shaved my pussy in many months

Look at these gingerbread brownies and apple pie I made

deeny's delicious delectables

Look at these gingerbread brownies and apple pie I made

my @geraldinepiche.bsky.social commissioned portrait is going to be doing a lot of heavy lifting tomorrow, that was my lone good idea

🔥🫡

gazing deeply into the palantir [disassociating]

who called it cunnilingus instead of amuse bouche

maybe my phone could throw me in an ocean for once

“I asked grok” “i asked ChatGPT” yeah well i asked charlie kirk on my ouija board and it just said the n word five times

LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb

Last night Elon musk was visited by three ghosts. All three are now suing him for sexual assault

LAST MINUTE COMMISSIONS. DM ME. 🩶

I mean

Does the Globe and Mail know that postal workers are taxpayers too?

it gets notably quieter on here around the holidays which is a shame bc I would love to see how people post from their parents' house as their regressed 17-year-old self

me: thank you them: no, thank you me: (right in their face) no no, thank you and do not test me on this

i keep thinking some of you are Canadian when you’re not guess my eh-dar is off

many such cases

Watching "Love, actually"

If I had a third arm, I would never put my phone down

My out of office message says "I'm here, it's just you and me now, everyone else is on PTO, tell me your deepest secrets"

Watching "Love, actually"

When someone gets water down the wrong pipe and starts coughing I say "rough day at the orifice?"

12 days of Christmas is how my father died but sure, go ahead and sing that song you piece of shit

Good morning Bluesky. It's chilly, so get yourself a nice warm beverage to start your day.

Look at this awesome piece of art Deeny did for me! A perfect memorial for my car Iko who left to soon a year ago. RIP you‘ll keep watch over this bedroom you claimed as your own! Go see Deeny’s art, Commission them to do a piece for you! You won’t regret it! @geraldinepiche.bsky.social

I have PTSD PTSDEEZNUTS! But for real tho

It's fine if you don't particularly care for it, there are ingredients I don't love on pizza. But if you're regulating the pizza consumption preferences of others as a part of your personality or identity, it's never gonna work.

Freaky friday where I switch place with the guy who beat the shit out of Andrew Tate for a day

ah yes, hitler was notoriously an equal opportunity employer

Online clothing retailers will send emails that say "huge holiday sale, 70% off!" and the colors of the sale items are like "vomit green," "shredded bananas" "Jackson Pollock's diarrhea"

Genuinely looks like a real life Bob's Burgers character

cowboy who stubbed his toe:

Christmas '97: I open a present, a box filled with spaghetti. My mother hands me another present, this one also filled with spaghetti. I look over at my father, but where he was sat is now just a large mound of spaghetti. I try to open another present but my hands are spaghetti.

[making porn] ok guys now let's do a silly one

I like big butts and I cannot lie, So I have no choice but to confess. I chopped down the cherry tree.

Parliament’s Elf On The Shelf turns out to be Pierre Poilievre in a little scarf

"Little drummer boy" is like if edging was a Christmas carol

Little Gooner Boy

"Little drummer boy" is like if edging was a Christmas carol

I can help with this 🐦 (haven’t gone on the site yet)

Freudian slit. slip.