Every ghost encounter can be explained away by an annoying guy

gonna kick the moon so hard it turns around

They never should have changed Jeopardy! from being "to the death."

A fishing pole? For cats? NOW I've seen everything.

All my posts, from here on out, will be attacking large accounts.

"Have not you heard? I am the internet girl." - Seraph

Good Friday is weird.

Scream of the scrop

I don't think Alvin is mean on purpose. But Alvin is mean.

I've got a bad feeling about tomorrow

never trust a rich astronaut

This will free her up for The Masked Singer.

A WIRED investigation has identified multiple members of the paramilitary units behind some of the most egregious immigration enforcement actions of the last year. from @awinston.bsky.social and @regret.bsky.social

who called it a giraffe and not a throat goat

My Wife: This is terrible. Me: It's Tom Waits. My Wife: I know.

A podcast where it's me and a different celebrity guest each week, but the celebrity guest never shows up. So I have to keep vamping until I'm pretty sure they're not actually coming.

Damn. 1:14.

Starting to think a lot of my indie music preference comes from hearing Mungo Jerry on the radio once?

The Twin Peaks sub has turned into a Twin Peaks shitposting sub very naturally

NYT not linking or acknowledging original reporting has been a punchline in media circles for so long but it does seem like it’s becoming harder to get away with. This on top of having a reader inform you that a book reviewer used AI to plagiarize is the worst of all journalistic worlds

Home, safe and sound. What ethereal music (not Orinoco Flow) should I play over proximity chat while playing Marathon tonight?

What a rollercoaster, man

Thank God he's on the mend. A treasure, start to finish. Watch Delocated.

My 11-year-old just introduced me to the lyrics of Copacabana and they...are...wild.

Realizing this might trace back to 1st grade when we'd play BINGO in class and the reward for a bingo was those stale multi-colored mini marshmallows.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@cockremover.bsky.social Shit fuck shit! I've been on vacation in Kansas when I could have been playing RACCOIN!

"Air Bud" is "The Elephant Man" for kids

What do ye need, English?

"No kings." -Butt Jesus

Another 9 hours of driving. See you all again around 5ish.

Okay, trans day of visibility, so let's be seen. Throw some money into the trans pizza fund and I'll get these fine visible people some very tangible food. ko-fi.com/cephaccino

Wut

Staying in a hotel and getting up after everyone is asleep for some cold BBQ is peak

me, my friends, hammers

Hi, new followers. The bear is going to be so embarrassed.

Guy fired for plagiarism certainly has thoughts on what the media is doing.

Without looking too much into data centers, I can say the sudden need to take open land and turn it into houses for computers seems bad.

Happy Trans Visibility Day. Reminder to go fuck yourself if you don't fuck with my trans homies.

Don’t forget your morning dose of cheese

[Ron Howard rubbing his hands] Ho baby!

Who up stealing posts word for word for attention? A month after they were posted? Posts that are complete fabrications at that? Oh yeah. It's @spockresists.bsky.social

wow! 100 likes! thank you so much

Deodorant that smells like BBQ

I regret naming my kid Walterwhite. Turns out he was the bad guy?

We're visiting family in Kansas again, and we're talking about the hotel art. And this was at an Airbnb on a different trip to Kansas.

New Hyundai marketing slogan THE CAR IS GOOD THE PENIS IS EVIL

In the 90s, my parents would take us to TCBY frozen yogurt sometimes. And we'd obviously want Dairy Queen instead. And they'd say, "It tastes just like soft serve ice cream." Which it absolutely did not. But now it does. It frozen yogurt got fixed. And it's hard for me to accept.