monday rhymes with funday what bullshit is this?

a ketchup fiend label when

LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb

SKEPTICS TO PEOPLE EVERYWHERE: Sometimes bleating sounds like do you hear what I hear 🏆👑 Congratulations @lacroixboi.dadguy.help from @sophiafhc.bsky.social

my policy 'Never Think Too Hard About Blockbuster Entertainments For The Masses' continues paying huge dividends

huge fan of birds

the elegant tit fandom is dying. repost if you love elegant tits

chat, help me settle an argument: are you naked if you are only wearing a hat on your head?

LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb

sir put that away!!

the electronic form for the doctors office asked me to choose colors to describe my mucus and the color of my mucus was not on the list i think i’m about to be famous

banning goatse? you mean covering the spread?

What I like most about townhouse living is hearing my neighbor begging her dog to take a shit so they can go back inside

I remember one time being on a glass bottom boat tour and I shouted SEE SEA TV LOL and then the Captain tied a rope around my ankle and threw me overboard

Slept ten hours last night and now I understand quantum mechanics

Bringing Rice Krispie treats to the Solstice Blood Sacrifice tomorrow

Woke up with my fanny pack on again

Look upon my cuteness

They’re calling it coffee. Wild stuff

ODIN SKYLINE CLEANSE 🐕🖤

told my landlord he no longer has to apologize for being white and he lowered my rent by 25%. told the grocer it's now the trump kennedy center and he sold me potatoes for $1. told PG&E it's a christian nation now and electricity is free. try it sometime

what cool and helpful things are we getting Dads for Christmas this year?

LOOK OUT

idk if i was the zodiac killer i simply wouldn’t run for public office

now that’s a sunday gravy

this is about me* *kind of** **not really

sebastian says hi

Where can I find cinnamoroll clothes for a child

Don’t have to ask me twice!

the sluttiest thing a dog can do is not fix their flipped up ear

AI Bro from yesterday blocked me. I get that he was upset that people mocked his profession and said it was bad and useless. There’s no way that would ever happen to me, someone with a theater degree

ODIN SKYLINE CLEANSE 🐕🖤

i’m closeing in on 50k posts and that is a mental illness, someone shut me up

rookie numbers

my brother in law and his partner got me this for christmas lmaoooo

man 9 months BC musta been wild

TIRED: shortest day of the year WIRED: longest night of the year

Whenever my postman delivers a package he says "My quest has finally come to an end" and I reply "And so the deed is done" and then we both grip each other by the shoulders and weep together with cathartic joy

JOSEPH: *holding newborn baby* he’s a miracle MARY: what should we name him *baby shits all over* JOSEPH: jesus christ

I've always wanted to get a picture of the sun setting directly above a sanderling I could never land it It's a complex shot since the sun sets above the ocean and the birds are BELOW the crashing waves Even if you get it, you need to get multiple shots for depth of field I came close tonight🪶 🧵

Here's some footage of some sanderling scampering on some sand during golden hour. Thanks everyone for the support! also thank you birds! 🪶

it would be extremely browns of us to finish with 4 wins with 2 of them being the packers and bills for no reason

mosquitos on the roof while i'm hanging christmas lights: you don't even go here

8yo has started choosing The Simpsons over other content. his favorite episode so far is Marge vs the Monorail. i could not be more proud

she thought you were making Shepherd's 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081284811174502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461284756482337867831652712019091

nothing says the holidays like the Kirkland Beef Missile

ME: can you get some ground beef? I want to make shepherd's pie on Christmas Eve MY SISTER:

wife: what are you up to? me, searching on my phone how donkey and the dragon fucked: oh nothing haha