"Guys, you don't need to Take Manhattan. Manhattan and all the other burroughs are here for you" Muppets muttering, Gonzo goes "oh my god, he really is a socialist"

(h/t @ygrene.bsky.social)

reposting for awareness

I know, girl. I know.

Agreed, and this kind of explanation is just another type of excuse so often given to him and Republicans generally that they were made to do whatever and are therefore not responsible for their actions.

The latest episode of "The Distraction" podcast from @defector.com is dedicated to Dan McQuade. I found this conversation between @drewmagary.bsky.social and @davidjroth.bsky.social to be such a moving and deeply human rumination on remembering someone who was so alive. defector.com/the-last-may...

Need a wrinkly bag for your thoughts? Try a brain™️.

centuries pass and still it sings. what a gift it is, how time flattens under the weight of a practiced voice. how irreplaceable

Based on nothing but hope, I believe that as you slip from this world into the next, you get to see yourself as those who love you see you

Needs recording. Somewhere.

But how else am I supposed to get rich and put the Duke brothers in the poor house at the same time?

My anxiety dreams just can't keep up with my waking anxiety. Last night, for example, I dreamt that I bought an extra-large bunch of bananas that were already bright yellow. This is the worst you've got, unconscious? Seriously?

Apophenia is: “the human tendency to perceive a connection or meaningful pattern between unrelated or random things.” Once you know about it, you see it everywhere.

Just a brief reminder that I have a newsletter over on Buttondown that welcomes all sorts of subscriptions and views. The next guide will be going out soon, so subscribe to receive the freshest text. buttondown.com/dorsalstream

Youngest bro often quotes a prof of his from long ago: ‘Shakespeare. Every time I re-read him it’s like he knows everything that’s happened to me since I read him last.’

It’s honestly a little hurtful that in their resignation letter, my guardian angel described me as “morally chopped.”

[He-Man after doing some much needed redecorating] Welcome to Castle EarthtonesSkull

In the spirit of @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social, I regret to inform you that we’re going to win.

Things are pretty bad right now, but let’s embrace joy. Here’s a clip of my son putting out heat on a cover of “Teenage Dirtbag” with the singer Madden Novogratz at a recent show.

I think it's best for everyone to understand that the unified class project of billionaires right now is to do to white collar workers what globalization and neoliberalism did to blue collar workers.

*stares at my wanted poster* But am I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥?

#5 of 52 Fictions is up -- my story, "Trespassesque," about a man with a key and ideas about how things should be. I hope you'll check it out at the link and give it a read. open.substack.com/pub/nickarvi...

COWORKER: Since you have a PhD in philosophy, you must be thinking deep thoughts all the time. ME (distracted thinking about how if Pringles cans had a little bigger diameter they would make great Croc-style shoes): Sorry, what?

local who can tell im a tourist: enjoy the city just don’t go to uptown after dark there’s a very specific gang up there me: I’ll be fine [10pm and the salsa boys have me cornered]

Things are pretty bad right now, but let’s embrace joy. Here’s a clip of my son putting out heat on a cover of “Teenage Dirtbag” with the singer Madden Novogratz at a recent show.

America these days is all wuthering, no heights.

(Or nearly any John Wayne movie that I watched with my dad.)

No matter the breed, every dog has one of three default dispositions: 1. Dipshit 2. Has a Job 3. Trying to Pick a Fight with God

Just wanted to announce that I've suspended any "go-getting" on my part for the foreseeable future.

From the third grade to sixth grade I was like: 49? Divisible by seven? Hahahahaha. Sure.

The Keurig ecosystem is bad on the merits, but sometimes you do have to appreciate the bonkers attempts to position unique flavors in the marketplace.

Showing up to your party wearing a bulky sweater with a hidden panel that opens onto a passageway whereby we may affect our escape—quickly! Quickly!

No fair that France is making everyone respect them for their strategic choices.

I've decided to start taking organic supplements again (one piece of coarse gravel wrapped in a green leaf)

Dem leadership: changing this is a difficult process, you fool. You rube. You utter infant. Give us between $5 and $50 Mamdani, wiping grease off his hands: So it turns out there's a switch on this machine that puts it into either orphan-shredding mode or free school lunch mode. Just had to flip it

in woke 2 we're putting woke in everything. we're renaming it wokelahoma. we're eating fried wokera. we're having a shoot out at the woke-k corral

One of my favorite jokes of all time is "Adolph Hitler Commits Suicide" being a tiny headline under the banner story about a hare-vs-tortoise race ... in 1943, two years before Hitler committed suicide. He was alive and well when the Warner Bros. cartoonists made this joke.

punxsutawney phil (just had visions of pestilence, blood rain, malignant false idols, stillborn livestock): uuuh 6 more weeks of winter

Can’t tell you how refreshing it is to be living in what seems to be an anomalous political environment where the mayor really likes his city and believes it should be improved and shared.

It hasn't been above freezing in NYC since we received our big storm, and the hardness of the dirty snow makes it feel like living in an unbrushed tooth.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as hot

All the stars are here: Brantley Gilbert, Brice Bradley, Gabby Babby, Bibb Glibsy, Slab Gabbert, Brice Bryce,

BREAKING: punxsutawney phil has fled the country

This may just be the parasite talking, but I'm going to climb that super tall building over there and release all my spores.

More winter? Please. Text me when the Punxsutawney Phil sees the Shadow of Death.

Does anyone else find it odd that Punxsutawney Phil has human eyes?

Every month it's like: pay your reeent, pay your biiiills, don't drink so muuuch, cut back on muuurder 🙄

Clairvoyant Rodent Day

On January 24th, my parents home burned down. They and my disabled brother escaped with only minor burns but they lost everything they've ever had. I'm running a GoFundMe to help them recover and rebuild. I would be deeply grateful for any donations but also for any shares!