mr potato
@tweetpotato314.bsky.social
📤 29745
📥 336
📝 1966
“it’s even worse than it appears but, it’s alright”
pinned post!
gonna start using social media less and use the time saved to hit myself in the head with a shovel
about 2 months ago
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forgot how much i love this
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Cayman Review
YouTube video by Trey Anastasio - Topic
https://youtu.be/tWRvrbf3P2g?si=caLAK3FpeL8_oZ-q
about 4 hours ago
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people forget but air bud was an absolute liability on defense
2 days ago
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mr potato
sky
2 days ago
RFK Jr: You know, if someone… collapses in front of you the best course of action is… to leave immediately, because their soul just… came out and it’s flying around the room looking for a new… vessel at that point
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mr potato
wargen
3 days ago
in middle school a kid entered the talent show with a rap about social studies and got booed off the stage, the world wasn't ready for Hamilton yet
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mr potato
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5 days ago
every star trek episode is titled Ere Fire Down From Olympus Came and every plot is "what if a comet had a milf on it"
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mr potato
Ygrene
5 days ago
the ghost that haunts my house keeps bragging that he can go inside the microwave while it’s on, like i care
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sad to lose donna jean today
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Dancing in the Street (Live at Barton Hall, Cornell University, Ithaca, NY 5/8/77)
YouTube video by Grateful Dead - Topic
https://youtu.be/eV16Ysr03Vw?si=0asPJlq62iPzJtpB
5 days ago
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mr potato
maura quint
9 days ago
It's the time of year again -- time to do your holiday shopping from independent artists. It's more important than ever to support people actually making stuff! If you're an artist or craftsperson of any kind, please reply to this with what you make and a link to your store and I'll share it!
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a storm trooper who’s about to receive some bad news on their performance review
add a skeleton here at some point
8 days ago
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one time at my kid’s day care they did a trunk or treat and one of the families dressed up as bob’s burgers and handed out sliders instead of candy and idk how to make this punchy but it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me
9 days ago
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neil armstrong: hey you uh didn’t….fake it, right? the moon: oh, no way baby, you totally landed on me
9 days ago
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mr potato
mark magark
about 2 years ago
Give me a treat boys and fill my bowl I wanna dress up as a spooky ghoul for milky ways
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mr potato
me: are you familiar with the infinite universe theory gf: yeah of course me: so there must be one where I run over your dad with a go-kart gf: I guess so me: so *pulling out flowers from behind my back* you can see how this isn’t my fault
over 1 year ago
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i don’t know what alexa js practicing for but i do not like it
10 days ago
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mr potato
Shenanigans
about 2 months ago
Not book smart, not street smart, but a secret third kind of smart (not)
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mr potato
RM
about 2 years ago
[slowly rising out of a nearby pumpkin] Put your hand to your chest. Feel your heartbeat? That's your ghost chipping away at its cell.
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if u get talked into joining a debate team ur probably gonna lose
10 days ago
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mr potato
Ray
about 1 month ago
BREAKING: The mitochondria have released a statement they are ending their long running symbiotic relationship with humans, citing "increasingly poor use of the energy we provide".
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mr potato
brent
11 days ago
dracula is the best costume because you can wear most of it and still go to a wedding
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[putting up halloween decorations] spider who lives is my hallway: THIS IS GENTRIFICATION
11 days ago
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in the library screaming what noise does a deflating tire make and the librarian immediately answers
11 days ago
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ken jennings: you…swallowed your buzzer?? me: *punches myself in the stomach* what is yes
11 days ago
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one christmas when i was a kid my parents got me a slinky for our stairless house and in case you couldn’t tell by the first part of this post we didn’t exactly have a lot of books lying around either
11 days ago
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getting a michael myers mask to break into william shatner’s iphone
11 days ago
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do not let the name fool you i am stuck in a “bear” trap
11 days ago
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mr potato
It's Abby. Yep.
12 days ago
I've been sober 14+ years. About the same amount of time as everyone in Dodger Stadium right now
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not sure how i have 1900 posts when i’ve had like six thoughts my entire life
11 days ago
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really love how this loads and looks like they’re peeking out from the sewer grate
add a skeleton here at some point
12 days ago
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clicked on “what’s hot classic” for the first time in months and had forgotten just how horny this app can be if u let it
12 days ago
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life really is all about perspective instead of thinking “i’m stuck in a sewer drain 😢 ” say “i’m going to meet a fireman 😃 “
12 days ago
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aaron rodgers finally returns to green bay and the decide to dress him up like a bumble bee lmao
13 days ago
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people are pretty upset about what trump’s done to the east wing but i heard when joe biden left he filled all the nail holes that his posters made with toothpaste to try and get his security deposit back in full
16 days ago
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saw golden state’s shooting coach warm up with steph and imagine he’s gotta feel a bit like the lifeguard overseeing the pool during the gold medal olympic round
17 days ago
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mr potato
Ray
18 days ago
Tara has always been one of the most creative and funniest people I've met in my social media misadventures. If she's worked this hard on a project, it's going to be worth it to help it come to life.
add a skeleton here at some point
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just heard an ad on the radio for a lawyer who can get you out of your timeshare obligation and i gotta say it’s a smart way to tap into a customer base that loves signing up for shit
19 days ago
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mr potato
jeremy kaplowitz
3 months ago
you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am
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make it a double
20 days ago
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luckily ai can never steal my art since i only paint pictures of stairs and crosswalks
20 days ago
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it’s true you never really know what someone else is going through. like me for instance, right now i’m in the car wash and lemme tell you something i…am…afraid
21 days ago
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why is aaron rodgers always making faces like he’s jim from the office
23 days ago
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dropped my basket at the grocery store and broke all my eggs felt like a real asshole
23 days ago
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the overlooked benefit of dial up was that noone could call me during my internet time
24 days ago
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mr potato
It's Turkey Time, Dan
26 days ago
He did it again for the 5 year anniversary
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the thing about solar power is that eventually the sun will die whereas the stewart’s by my house always has gasoline
29 days ago
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thought this was green eggs and ham for a second
add a skeleton here at some point
29 days ago
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mr potato
Arlan Hellison (famous)
about 1 month ago
if I grew to giant size, I would only defend the city. I would never destroy it
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anxiety is just like having pre-traumatic stress disorder
about 1 month ago
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harassment in the workplace (director’s cut)
about 1 month ago
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oedipus: do u have to keep saying that samuel l jackson: saying what
about 1 month ago
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