you don’t have to wait til Halloween to tell you ghost stories I WANT TO HEAR THEM NOW

Disney trying to bait the nerds into watching a Star Wars Trailer instead of apologizing for being dicks to Jimmy Kimmel is funny

i guess i could really still use help. between driving to my grandma's almost daily to be her caregiver, and dealing with every emergency under the sun, i've depleted my (minuscule) savings

I woke this morning and it was so quiet and still that I could hear Mariah Carey starting her engines in the north pole

i thought bluesky would appreciate this

This is Annie. She freaking loves fall. 13/10 (FB: James Osborne)

Did a panel at the Brooklyn Book Festival and when I referred to Zohran Mamdani as “New York City’s next mayor” the whole room cheered. I’m on my way to the airport now and saw an apartment with a white bedsheet hanging from its balcony with “ZOHRAN FOR MAYOR” in careful, hand drawn view letters.

One thing I find useful is to not just count but to speak my blessings. If I see something beautiful I'll say out loud, maybe very quietly, but so I can hear, "That is beautiful." Words have power, and just hearing the words, even when we make them ourselves, can help.

"Right now, everyone has the responsibility to protect their neighbors." "These really are kidnappings." "To ICE and Border Patrol, you are not welcome in our neighborhoods in Chicago. Leave now." #Illinois #USA #Deportation #EthnicCleansing

happy new year, repent your sins, apologize to people, eat a lot

queef is short for queen fart

You cannot convince me anyone is actually having a good time on “Threads”

So far this year, more than 4.3 million COVID cases have been reported in the U.S., causing 301,585 hospitalizations and 18,717 deaths.

Rare double feature but I gotta sneak this in before the clock strikes midnight @erinbiba.bsky.social

For those who need to hear it, never apologize for gushing about your hyperfixations and any comfort characters. All it matters is that they make you happy.

I don't understand why someone will use the save feature on a silly post like “I farted through my peenus,” like, are you going to come back to read the discourse on it? Want to remind yourself to research penile flatulence later when you get off work?

back in the late 90s you could say “it’s been” and instantly hear someone sing “one week since you looked at me” and we just let it happen

The Disney adults are doing better than the Democratic Party at fighting back.

them: how are you me: passes headphones

i watched an entire football game with some coworkers tonight and i can confidently report that the red team beat the black team. really happy for them.

Going forward there is no fashion. There is only hard pants and soft pants now.

some bitch showed up to my friend’s baby shower pregnant, like does it always have to be about you Jessica???

that's right keep saving my posts i'm almost there

hey i just got an alert saying your personal info was found on the dork web

inside of you are two wolves

yeah I’m sex positive, positive I haven’t had sex in a while

Every year blueberries get a little bigger. I hope I live to see blueberries the size of a plum.

If I ever saw a vampire I'd be like "daaaaaaaaaamn for real? I knew it"

My daughter, an hour into this movie: they shouldn’t have bought a zoo.

A reminder as you tell people to "find community" that most of you do not give af about accessibility. In some places (like my state) anti-LGBTQ laws (targeting trans & nonbinary) overlap or are even identical to ableist "ugly laws" & cut off access to transit/public accommodations/housing/work.

STEPHEN MILLER: you have no idea what you have awakened. we will save the West. we will turn darkness into light. we will rise like a phoenix from the pit of fire and EVERYONE ELSE AT THE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS GAME TABLE: ROLL THE FUCKING DIE ALREADY

OH NO WE BOUGHT A ZOO

whenever I sleep over at my best friend’s house, her 4yo son always comes to my room (sometimes in the middle of the night) to lend me one of his stuffies 🥹 he is the only person in this world who truly loves me

just heard someone call stephen miller peewee german

i put the ‘me’ in Parmesan cheese

Great to start my day with the tradeswomen of the North America’s Building Trades Unions! Together, we've made Illinois a beacon of hope for working people everywhere. We are making life more affordable for families, creating good jobs at fair wages, and protecting workers.

this is my sunken den, aka the conversation pit [grabs mic, screaming] NOW LETS OPEN UP THIS PIT [calm tone] so what have you been reading lately

Hulu and Disney plus are now offering 70% off subscriptions, and in response I am offering Hulu and Disney plus 70% off deez nuts.

New: Sarah MacLachlan, Jewel, and more musicians scheduled to perform at tonight's premiere for Hulu's ABC News doc LILITH FAIR have all pulled out after Disney scrapped the red carpet. First notable talent consequence of the Jimmy Kimmel situation.

look at this sweet photo of baby Holtzmann on the way to the park to walk for the first time

the timeline is so much better when you mute the shit out of words you don’t want to see

In Naperville, IL on Wednesday, ICE surrounded a group of documented workers replacing a residential roof. ICE agents reportedly kicked over the ladders and forced the workers to jump. The episode involved a chase with guns drawn.

She’s a 10 but she’s difficult.

sittin on the dock of the bay

Disney adults canceling subscriptions, vacations, etc really are making the Harry Potter adults that threw a fit over a $60 video game look like huge bitches

Use Alt Text. Just do it.

Smells like pumpkin spice spirit.

lifesavers gummies been packing their bags full of reds like rfk jr is right on their tail for months

I’m not interested in stealing anyone’s boyfriend. If I wanted a boyfriend, I would simply go to the Boyfriend Store and get one

Lol someone got me with a spotlight on