RFK Jrs cause for autism can be summed up as “I don’t know. It’s probably your moms fault” and the next steps can be summed up as “Stop bothering me and go fetch me a beer”.

MELVIN: The president repeatedly did say though that he would end the war on day 1, and we are some 250 days into the administration MARCO RUBIO: Yeah, but that's not up to us to end the war MELVIN: Repeatedly on the campaign trail he said he would end it on day 1

cursed to carry this for the rest of my days

Voters in southwest Arizona are highly likely to elect a new Democratic House member in a special election today. That would-be lawmaker plans to become the 218th and clinching supporter of a bipartisan effort to force public disclosure of federal investigative files related to Jeffrey Epstein.

Somewhere out there is a man who got “J6 was Antifa” tattoo, to then cover it with a “Release the files” tattoo, covered it with Cracker Barrel tattoo, covered it with a “free speech” Kirk quote, covered it with a “Goodbye Kimmel” tattoo; now afraid to take Tylenol for pain across 50% of their body.

Fuck ICE. Cowardly bastards.

Helpful cheat sheet from Secretary Kennedy: Tylenol = autism Pepto = adhd Robitussin = stuttering Heroin and adultery = Cabinet position telling doctors what science is.

No one could have done a better job running for president in just 2½ months than VP Kamala Harris. No one. See what she was up against straight out of the gate? Friends and frenemies…

the Tom Homan bribery scandal is the latest example of how a felon in the White House is making crime legal

Kamala Harris: Right now, we are dealing with, as I called him at my speech on the ellipse, a tyrant

Happy Rapture Day, Y’all! Remember to give your belongings to every rando you see on the street. It’s what Jesus would have wanted.

Look, it’s Heroin and Adderall ganging up on Tylenol.

Goebbles or Miller?

Fewer than 10% of Germany’s €83 billion defence plan is going to the US, Politico reports. Nearly all major contracts - frigates, Eurofighters, air defences, armored vehicles - will go to European suppliers. Only limited buys like Patriot missiles and P-8A torpedoes come from the US.

⚡️Chinese vessel docks in Russian-occupied Crimea despite sanctions, FT reports. According to Ukrainian authorities, the vessel has moored in Sevastopol at least three times in recent months, the Financial Times reported.

I will say one nice thing about Charlie Kirk. He was too young and ugly to be on either side of the Epstein files.

Stupid rapture happening on the same day as Star Fox Adventures’ 23rd anniversary

Every lawyer working for Tylenol tonight

This ought to be engraved somewhere.

Billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott has donated $70 million to the UNCF, the largest private provider of scholarships to minority students.

A pop up box on Tylenol dot com

Creepy AF

💯💯💯

The best thing of RFK Jr blaming Tylenol for autism is not the massive amount of cash Johnson and Johnson is about to make on the Federal lawsuit. It’s thousands of vaccine denying women white knuckling their headaches because an adulterous lawyer who used to be addicted to heroin went on Reddit.

Jimmy Kimmel is being brought back for the same reason he was suspended: Corporations only care about money. Which is why boycotts work.

Kamala Harris on Mamdani: Look, as far as I'm concerned, he's the democratic nominee and he should be supported.

New post-apocalyptic currency just dropped

Kamala Harris: He had no plan for actually bringing down costs and prices for the American people. He had very few plans for what he would actually do that was about the American people, and not his vengeance on his enemies.

I mean, at an absolute MINIMUM, you need to be able to pronounce the thing you’re opining on

Kamala Harris: "It feels chaotic, but what I would offer you is what we are witnessing is the swift implementation of a plan that was decades in the making. Project 2025 didn't just drop out of thin air. That's a product of decades of work. Federalist Society, Heritage Foundation ... "

If you’re going to say a drug causes harm you better be damn sure you have causation and not correlation. A pregnant mother could take Tylenol for her hangovers because she’s is an alcoholic. Another because she has a serious illness or injury. Either way don’t call out brands. They will sue you.

Tylenol is about to be rich from the Fed govt after the ABSOLUTELY for certain lawsuit

DISNEY: "OK, we are putting Jimmy Kimmel back on the air. You can resubscribe now." ME: "I unsubscribed because you immorally bowed to fascism. I'm not going to resubscribe because you immorally bowed to finances."

my mom took tylenol when she was pregnant, which made me super focused on menswear and now i have a million followers on twitter

Let’s be clear: you unsubscribing from Disney did it. Nothing else. Follow the 💰

they boutta find out how hard it is to get people to resubscribe once they cancel a service

I’m glad Jimmy’s back. But Brendan Carr still needs to resign. www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/j...

Who could have done this?

Just thinking about how Joe Biden didn’t hate his opponents.

No immigrant has ever sacked me, or cut my wages, or offshored my job, or closed my hospital, or stopped my mum's disability benefits, or crashed the economy. Those things were all done by white English men who went to Oxford and wore a nice suit.

In the news: Quack groups mad that Dr. Worm is not including their various quack causes for autism into upcoming HHS quack announcements. In other news: Did Dr. Worm even stop to consider exposure to Anime as a factor? arstechnica.com/health/2025/...

In the news: The US sinks a 4th boat in the Caribbean suspected of “drugs”! In other news: It could have been Venezuelan or Puerto Rican. The Caribbean is big like that. It could have had drugs, maybe. Either way it’s still a crime to kill without a trial. amp.miamiherald.com/news/nation-...

If you’re in the Eastern District of Virginia and you get a jury summons, maybe don’t sit this one out. You could end up on a Jim Comey or Tish James case.

RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-warns-mistress-that-condoms-cause-autism/