You guys are doing great. Totally keeping Trump’s persistent health concerns out of the media! Keep it up. Nobody is on to you.

Hmm. A “6 month physical” followed by cancelling a trip to Camp David because of… *checks notes* scattered thunderstorms. Sure, sure.

These stories are going to drive him insane, but it’s only fair that Trump’s failing health gets the same scrutiny as Biden’s did

Anyone who unironically refers highly enriched uranium as “nuclear dust” should be forever barred from discussing anything related to nuclear weapons. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I’m 95% done with dinner I just have to decide what I’m eating, how I’m cooking it, and what store I want to shop at

I ain’t reading all that. Congrats, or I’m sorry that happened. But seriously… what the fuck is this. “Mandatorily requesting”? He’s a goddamn moron.

The U.S. and Iran are contemplating a preliminary memorandum of understanding to potentially consider opening exploratory discussions about the possibility of future negotiations, pending clarification, interpretation, review, regional consultation, weather conditions, and vibes

Oh no, the deal is already breaking down. It was supposed to last at least until they could manipulate the market on Tuesday

We’re about to pay Iran billions of dollars to open the Strait that was open before the war, and to hand over the highly enriched uranium they didn’t have before Trump pulled out of the JCPOA. Art of the deal, baby.

Can’t wait to watch all the people who criticized the JCPOA and excoriated Obama for “pallets of cash” try to sanewash Trump giving Iran even more cash for a worse deal than the JCPOA.

This is why the war in Iran was always a fool’s errand. Trump was never going to commit the necessary resources to actually win it. Now, we’re apparently getting ready to leave with an emboldened Iran and a Middle East that’s in a worse position than when we started.

Folks are misunderstanding what’s happening in Iran at a fundamental level. It boils down to the fact that Iran’s leadership thinks they’re winning. They think they can hold out longer than Trump will fight. That’s why they’re refusing to negotiate on the nuclear issue.

Alright folks, here we go. Ask me anything, 30ish mins, gogo

Marco Rubio when he finds out he’s the new Director of National Intelligence

Gabbard resigned. Good riddance.

Fun fact: North Carolina still hasn’t recovered from hurricane Helene, and Trump wants $2 billion to give people who smeared shit on the walls of the Capitol.

I didn’t have a GOP riot over Trump’s grifting fund on my bingo card. Turns out there is a line. Who knew?

This is what I’ve been talking about - the IC assesses that Iran could have a fully reconstituted drone program in 6 months. They still have 60-70% of their missiles and launchers. This war accomplished little, and it taught Iran they can close the Strait anytime they want.

Yeah, it’s probably just a coincidence that Blanche represented Paul Manafort, Rudy Giuliani, Boris Epshteyn, Michael Cohen, and Donald Trump. He’s just a guy trying to do the right thing without regard to party, as long as you’re a Republican.

So now we’ve gone from “make a deal and end the war or I’ll blow you to hell” to “please sign this letter to think about maybe ending the war in the next 30 days” How embarrassing.

👀👀👀👀

Half the GOP is saying Israel rigged the vote against Massie and the other half is celebrating the fact that the guy who wants to hold pedophiles accountable lost. Totally normal party.

Just unbelievable corruption. He said he would drain the swamp, instead he brought in the swampiest administration in history, declared himself Supreme Emperor of Swampopia, and ordered his justice department to essentially give his entirely family immunity.

The grifter in Chief

Watching GOP influencers turn against their MAGA heroes (because their MAGA heroes are realizing that Trump is a fraud) will never not be hilarious to me. Zero actual positions on anything. Just whatever Trump wants.

Trump released the largest weekly strategic reserve distribution in history last week - almost 10 million barrels. Oil is still over $100 a barrel and gas is at record seasonal highs. This is gonna get ugly if it’s not resolved soon.

What a stupid thing to tweet. “I’ve been asked to hold off on our military attack of Iran, which was scheduled for tomorrow” I’m very skeptical that any serious negotiations are actually happening.

D+11 on a generic ballot probably looks something like 40 seats gained in the House - IF we don’t get complacent. Have you registered to vote yet? Have you double checked to make sure you’re still registered? Do you have any documentation you need to vote? Start planning now.

It’s really wild watching people on social media pretend like this administration isn’t a complete dumpster fire. Polls in the 20s in battleground states? Fake news! Record disapproval on the economy? Fake poll! Record disapproval on healthcare? Dem hoax!

It’s really hard to describe how insane this story is. Of course Patel went snorkeling over the USS Arizona - that’s what happens when you put an irreverent internet troll in charge of a government agency. Disrespectful assclown.

JFC 🤦‍♂️

Trump is negotiating to settle his lawsuit against his own IRS, and one of the remedies being floated (along with almost 2 billion dollars) is the IRS dropping all audits of Trump, his family, and his businesses. Just absolutely staggering corruption.

Xi: America is declining as a world power Trump: HE MEANT UNDER SLEEPY JOE!! No, you assclown - he meant because you’re intentionally isolating the US on the world stage and GIVING our influence away.

People seem legitimately surprised that Trump is using his tweets to pump stock he owns and buying or selling based off of confidential information he receives as POTUS. Grifting is his entire personality. Why is anyone shocked?

This frequently happens in China. During Trump’s first term, they tried to block the aide who carries the football from entering the room. During one of Obama’s terms, they scuffled over armed USSS agents and press movement.

MAGA is currently celebrating the fact that… Trump took a sip of alcohol, and acting like he just cured world hunger. It’s a fucking cult.

The GOP is doing that thing again where they pretend the JCPOA (Obama nuclear deal) wasn’t working, despite our intelligence community, the IAEA, and our allies all confirming that it was. And the fact that all Iran’s significant enrichment happened after Trump pulled out. 🤷‍♂️

Tell me you don’t know what ODNI is without telling me… You think CIA can just go steal documents from the Director of National Intelligence? 🤣🤣🤣

rare moment of absolute honesty from Trump He doesn’t care about the struggles of everyday Americans.

Any questions about why the GOP is desperately trying to cheat before the midterms?

I’m feeling pretty good today, got my doctor-recommended 7 hours of blinking last night

Another dental visit, huh? It’s just getting comical at this point. They can’t even keep the lies straight.

This shit would embarrass North Korea. Imagine dick riding anyone this hard, especially a dude that doesn’t give a single solitary fuck about you

Is anyone investigating why the president keeps falling asleep in public, or do we have to wait on the tell-all book to come out?

Trying to find a single example of MAGA screeching about the Logan Act when Biden was in office and Trump was in Israel, taking to Putin on the phone, or hosting dictators at Mar a Lago. Can’t seem to find one. Weird.

Did you know every MAGA influencer is in a group chat with people close to the administration where they’re regularly given scripts? They also have a website to sign up for influence campaigns that they never disclose. They’re making bank off of lying to you.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there! I hope you all have a wonderful, politics free day.

Gas prices: record seasonal high Beef prices: record high Farmers: bankruptcies up 46%, can’t get fertilizer Foreclosure rates: 6 year high Epstein pedos: still being protected MAGA: at least we owns the libs.

Trump’s “made in America” smart phone isn’t going to be made in America. It might not ever be made at all. And they aren’t offering refunds. Go figure. I love this for all the idiots that preordered one.