overall it’s doing more good than harm but bsky mobile app showing me (someone who chose to enable the optional alt text nag) an additional info box about why alt text is good is hilarious, considering they still haven’t fixed the bug that makes it so you can’t scroll when first entering alt text

if you remember jeff foxworthy jokes, you MIGHT be a redneck

even within the hazy reality of dreams they must be at least quasi-garlic flavoured. man’s got to have a code

sports movie week

deer haters: right?! exactly!!

CYAN: [weeping] kefka... he poisoned the doma river. everyone is dead!!! EDGAR: [murdering someone with a power drill] THATS FUCKED UP!

Interviewer: Do you have any questions for us? Me: Is your job like Suits? Interviewer: Not really. Me: Fine. Is it like House? Interviewer: No. Me: Fine. Is it like The Office? Interviewer: No. Do you want me to tell you what show it's like? Me: I'd like to keep guessing if that's okay.

Debuffing the grocery cashier with coupon after coupon

If we’re age restricting anyone online it should be boomers.

smashing pumpkins lyrics are all just a nursery rhyme or common saying and then something like "angels dirty bloodline never forever, never let her ask her god whenever" x8

🕯️y̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞u̳̿͟͞ c̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞ k̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞l̳̿͟͞ w̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞ f̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞ 🕯️ 🕯️t̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞a̳̿͟͞t̳̿͟͞ w̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞c̳̿͟͞h̳̿͟͞ i̳̿͟͞s̳̿͟͞ b̳̿͟͞o̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞n̳̿͟͞ o̳̿͟͞f̳̿͟͞ f̳̿͟͞i̳̿͟͞r̳̿͟͞e̳̿͟͞🕯️ 🔥🔥🔥 🔥👁️👄👁️🔥 🔥 🫲🧡💛🧡🫱 🔥 🔥🔥🔥 🦵🦵 🔥🔥🔥 🔥🔥 🔥🔥

i promise you that whatever you think will happen next won't

derek's right and good, but also consider: i use my RSS reader every day. i (obviously) post on a 30 year old vbulletin forum. i keep a gmail tab open all day. i'm still on soulseek ffs you can still live in the old ways. you will miss out on insta and fb, but i promise you, you will not miss them.

Aquarius: Probably nothing to worry about but, we just thought you'd want to know the creature draws near. Ever nearer, actually, it says here. The handwriting is sort of— well, I shouldn't editorialize. But uh. Yeah. Creature's comin'.

helllll yeahhhhh

here it is

oh also congrats on 80K caitlings!

strapping up for the daily mirror-match

Mueller He Died

somebody's taking the news real hard

Haha

My alabaster milk child Teuton keeps asking for ranch dressing at the caviar factory, it is most epic. The fishmongers despise him.

you're gonna hear two hits pal, me hitting the bong and my shin hitting the corner of the coffee table. and then you can expect to hear me say God Fucking Damn It really big one time followed by a whole bunch of smaller Jesus Fucking Christs. then i'll probably kinda zone out for a while. tough guy

DENTISTS: fuck. fUCK! the answer to my untenable toothbrush hoarding was right there. the whole entire time. way faster than giving them away

overall it’s doing more good than harm but bsky mobile app showing me (someone who chose to enable the optional alt text nag) an additional info box about why alt text is good is hilarious, considering they still haven’t fixed the bug that makes it so you can’t scroll when first entering alt text

heard about chuck norris dying. at least he can finally be with his career again

THE BEAST THAT SHOUTED LOVE AT THE HEART OF THE WORLD (1968)

so THAT’S where it’s been all this time. always the last place you look

new kind of guy who thinks literally everything everywhere is cool until told otherwise

to r/micropenis—Just Saw An Edward (guy with normal penis size) Fuck Up Trying To Flatten A Cardboard Box By The Dumpster...They Are So Lost

(boomer reviewing a product on the computer) my mailman smells like cigarettes

me: halt. go no farther. whats the password to get into my illusive catacomb my buddy Phrimgruel the Cascadist: Doom of Screams me: thats such a cool password

ME: omg it’s called a sub sandwich because of the shape. lol my dumbass thought it had something to do with fuckin substitute teachers THE OTHER SAILOR TRAPPED IN THE DISABLED SUBMARINE: I’m ready to open the hatch

Walmart: where good people meet great prices. Sounds perfect, right? I thought so too, but apparently they run deep background checks on slogan suggesters, and hold them to an unnecessarily strict morality clause.

kelly! kelly, it's trent. your cousin, machine gun trent. you know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this! [pounds pencil into dickhole]

snorting derisively at my martial arts instructor every time it is made abundantly clear they have not internalized the opening monologue from GHOST DOG: THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI (1999)

if ghosts are unsure as to why they're still shackled to this mortal coil by chains of pain and regret, the least they could do is become my Stand

if there is anything i have learned in my travels across the planes, it is that many things may change the nature of a poster. whether regret, or love, or revenge, or fear or a skill-testing time-out in a puzzle dimension— whatever you believe can change the nature of a poster, can.