yesss

Load Runner

when a comediän jaçks-œff in front of women nònconsensűally

He was wearing his white butchers coat and the sleeve turned a sickly beige as a result. He withdrew his hand fast as a cat and shouted "whatthefuck" in a single motion but couldn't dodge the projectile in time.

One of the cashiers doing an overnight shift drank half a quart of eggnog on her 15m break and came back downstairs to her register. About ten minutes later, she rang up the overnight Butcher as he was leaving and barfed all over his arm and the change that she just handed him

When I worked at the 24hr grocery store there was a dude we nicknamed "NyQuil Guy" because he rode his bike in at 6:30AM, wearing a Sony headset with crusty yellow earfoam pads, walked briskly to the pharmacy & rung up a bottle and slammed it as soon as he got outside. This was common, if not daily.

took a photo of a dog then had to take another photo because another dog appeared

"I think we're still on the air Tim" "... No we're not, are we?" 😭😭😭

"yeah, gimme the nightmare kristi noem filter"

the people who weren't on cohost for the 5 minutes cohost existed must also learn of Bitch House

When Mexicans get bad eyesight it’s diagnosed as Glaucomole.

standing in the doorway, waiting for my wife to get off her call so i can tell her that i broke the glass plate in the microwave

NOFINXS

mash up bands The Beastie Boyz II Men

I'm 19 months into unemployment due to illness, and I just got a letter that my earlier payment for storage didn't go through, and I have until the 1st to pay 2000$ or they're auctioning off my storage, which has 12 years of games & retrotech. Any help would be amazing. ko-fi.com/fooneturing/...

Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream (NSW) free early if you break into Nintendo's HQ. But watch out

happy mario day

Finally wearing this, thank you @jimprov.sendusyourmoney.com

here it is

Adult content? No, sorry, this adult is never content.

Keith Haring (1986)

remember guys! don’t post anything that can get you arrested! you don’t want to hurt their feelings :(

mash up bands The Beastie Boyz II Men

"And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend- would you be sure and tell her; SAYTON! SAYTON! SAYTON!"

the rizzard of mogs

Yay Spring - available in my shops 🐦💀🌸👇 . . . NeatoShop —> www.neatoshop.com/product/Yay-... . . . Redbubble —> www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Ya... . . . TeePublic —> www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/7475... . . . Threadless —> hillarywhiterabbit.threadless.com/designs/yay-... . . . #spring #birds #nature

also, Moo did an entire 2mi hike today so she earned a pup cup!

good times can still be had

Regionally franchised Bitch House shows. Southern Bitch House. Bitch House Down Under.

Might make some changes but here’s the first iteration of my new director’s reel. Also a writer’s and editor’s reel since I wrote and edited everything too. m.youtube.com/watch?v=FxJU...

Arthur Durston (1934)

John Waters never disappoints

@michaelianblack.bsky.social u like what u see?

E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (Spielberg, 1982)

Michael Menchaca (2012)

Look, Tiger Woods never said he was a roll model

tonight's #steakFriday was desperately needed, as these cuts were cheap but their sentimental value is through the roof

over at the shop here: shop.sendusyourmoney.com/products/str... The movie was fun but the shirt is better

Annoyed that this is the poem of the decade

theyre called the yankees because they like to yankeeach other's penises

Henrietta Shore (ca. 1937)

I love this guy, he speaks for the land, he speaks for Gaia www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJd4...

It's hard enough on my relationship with my chimpanzee wife that I'm being cancelled at work over our problematic age gap. But now, whenever I try to put on a brave face at home and smile through the pain, she sees it as a sign of aggression and starts wrenching at my limbs to pull them clean off.