people from away can stay there

burrata cheese is like eating unborn mozzarella still in the placenta

Good morning! Nothing makes me sadder than finding out a beloved moot posted a nude and I missed it.

These Disney live-action remakes are out of control.

in case you've ever wondered why television shows featuring decent, honest coppers (lt. columbo, dci barnaby, adam-12, etc) are popular, it's because those fictional characters are the police we wish we had. instead, we get pigs like these, with their US (cops) vs THEM (everyone else) mentality

holy shit you guys, did you see the raw footage from yesterday's jet crash?? they tried to make an emergency landing in a field but didnt make it. authorities haven't released casualty figures

do i want to mop up a single huge pile of chum or woukd i rather pick up 300 piles of dog shit 🤔 decisions decisions…

this guy looks like some badass kung fu motherfucker

purple leader standing by

dude on wheel of fortune just said he thought he smelled bigfoot once "but i was wrong" & when bryan seamonkey asked what it smelled like he said he "didn't know how to describe it." but how does he know he didn't smell bigfoot unless he was smelling something so embarrassing he couldn't admit it

the dog is snuggled in a leg nest between my knees snoring happily

"Denmark changes the name of Greenland to Epstein Island so that Trump will quit talking about it" fucking savage 🤣

imagine a meat pie so delicious that the aroma wafts in one nostril, dances in your head, and then out the other

Sure would hate to ruin Tim Lewis’ weekend. He’s the general manager and thinks that anyone complaining off his business’ collaboration with ICE doesn’t have a “job”. He got upset with me earlier but he can be reached directly at 612-363-1371. His guys are still erecting barricades for ICE right now

here's another great thing about a decent vpn: if you set your location to a country (like the Netherlands for example) with strong digital privacy laws you can completely deny the ability of most websites to set cookies on your device. heres an example, i use Express VPN & this is usa today:

TURN OFF PRECISE LOCATION USE A VPN a good vpn will not only cloak your actual ip but also kill ads (including in games)

i would take her if i could but ellie is too dog-agressive. i hope one of my fellow northeast peeps can help her out. ellie was also a jumper/nipper when we first brought her home, but staffies are smart and easy to train and we soon had that sorted out lucy looks like a diamond in the rough

this is still the best answer

the magazine rack at barnes & noble had monthly "internet magazines" that were nothing but pages of url listings that contributors thought interesting. you had to manually type them into your Netscape Navigator address bar & half of them were gone by the time you got there

Effort quickly deteriorated because I got sick of drawing these bozos, but you get the idea. They won’t stop until we’re all dead and the earth is depleted. #politicalcartoon

having insurance from progressive is like thinking you're going out with flo's slutty sister janice and jamie answers the door

his name is Jonathan Ross and he shouldn't get a good night's sleep for the rest of his life www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...

honestly there has never been a need for microsoft office past office 2003. i love office 2003

two schools of scientists are racing in an informal competition — one to discover why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch, the other in an effort to find out why the appeal of ham seems to increase with age.

i feel ham is the most elder-coded of all meats. you start talking about favorite meals with someone old enough to be your father and sooner or later they bound to say something like "I SURE DO LOVE ME A HAM DINNER" and really mean it.

UBISOFT would rather shut down entire studios than pay their staff fair wages or benefits

Cops lie. They lie casually. They lie reflexively. And they lie professionally. Some are trained in better lying techniques. An official statement by the police is, all by itself, evidence against the truth of the assertions in the statement. I know that's not what McGruff taught you. But it's so.

"are you one of the millions of americans who get an upset stomach after a large meal? try pepto bismol!" or try eating less you fucking glutton

fek'lhr will return in avengers: doomsday

doc said i been dying since the day i was born

I gotta buy one of these dogs.

the crimson chin will return in avengers: doomsday

i hope that when anyone uses it, a big red banner scrolls continually along the top of the screen saying PUSSY MODE ACTIVATED

this guy's mom crocheted him a pair of truck nuts andvthats simultaneously sweet and fucked up

my kid's tcg store is like the regional tamagotchi HQ

as we head into almost a week of rain, allow me to share this photo of my street on this date last year

Congratulations to Ashley Babbitt for five years of sobriety.🏅🏅🏅

🚗💵

my phone battery life ain't for shit after this last "security update ", it's like samsung is protecting my phone by making sure its fucking dead half the day

big deal, like stun guns dont already rxist

lol its snowing again

this goes out to everybody who loves the mcrib but won't eat scrapple because of "what's in it" your fuckin mcrib is scrapple without the cornmeal.

home from the vet. no sedation needed, just three of us holding her down while they swabbed her ears. clean bill of health!

barking in protest at being at the vet

waiting for an exam room at the vet. we have to wait outside on account of ellie hating other dogs, and she needs a muzzle on account of hating the vet

i told my kid "they gotta get as close as possible because loop fucking sucks" and TWO PLAYS LATER the li'l bitch shanks the shortest fg attempt in the 2025 season