telling my real estate agent i need a second bedroom for my evil works

another successful day of pissing in 2026

heading into the haunted Goblin Forest, to visit with the Goblin Wizard, so i can recharge my posting abilities. i’ll return tomorrow.

Another throwback issue of POOPLE WEEKLY and why @badposter.lol is no longer allowed to legally fly planes! Some people take the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry too far.

getting into a john woo style shootout at the sperm bank

the neighborhood teens have been throwing rotten pumpkins at my porch and yelling “nice gyatt, unc!” after they saw my butt crack sticking out while i was weeding my flower garden. damn hooligans

imagine wearing a bulletproof vest in a picture and then complaining online that a woman nudged you for harassing her

smoking on that shit that makes me hate the government

so far, the piss counter is going beautifully

eating fajitas tonight, that’s what is for dinner

IT, IS TIME ‼️

y’all it’s the first friday in 2026, this is so fucking big

I've saved trillions of dollars on my car insurance

@mikemay.bsky.social damn mike u made me look u got my ass good with that one

new asshole just dropped on the timeline, y’all

my wife saw charcoal footprints all over the kitchen and i look down at my feet. the bottom of 1 foot is covered in black dust. i have no idea how it even got there. i don’t own a fireplace.

Michael And-jello is my favorite artist

normal person logic: meet an asshole in the morning, maybe they’re an asshole, meet assholes all day, maybe i’m the asshole will stancil logic: meet an asshole in the morning, they’re an asshole. meet assholes all day, i’m gonna complain to moderation that literally everyone is an asshole except me

haven’t seen any main character discourse on the timeline lately, someone should crash tf out.

unbothered moisturized in my lane shitting aggressively happy

In 2026 if you have meta glasses on I will physically assault you.

Seasonal Fart Syndrome

my new years resolution is to give an honest attempt at eating much healthier, except for 1 meal a week, and that is sunday dinner.

chicken lettuce wraps

Norm MacDonald was short for Normal MacaroniDonald

googling what “avant garde” means so i can sound smart with my artsy homies

i’ll be like hold on honey, i’ll help you in a minute, i just thought of a post, and it’s just some shit like “they’re squeezing me for my precious goo”, and i hit send.

the cops have been following me for months, tracking me, and i havent been able to figure out how, until i looked down and noticed the glowing trail of goo i’ve been leaving behind.

helping my friend incriminate themselves like a true homie

every day i wake up and a new part of me is a horse

i wanna be transformed into a hippo

69-11, never forget

Crate Baby

this dude looks like he respects woman so hard, and i mean this with the utmost sincerity

i generally think every dude posting in r/bald should absolutely shave their shit, but this dude has such an iconic archetypical look that i think he would be making a mistake if he did.

do you take a shit or leave a shit

breakfast burrito? you mean a burrito? for breakfast? yea gimme that.

shouting fuck ICE and eating a burrito sloppy style with my cholo bros

WE'VE GOT ALL THE BUZZ ON PISS VIRTUOSO @badposter.lol STALKER @jovialstarfish.bzky.team Plus: @unclesheo.bsky.social says OUGH! IS @punishedsiltyloam.bsky.social the LADY for @lordpiss.bsky.social If YOU have hot BSKY goss or just wanna crashouts to our editor please submit all stories POOPLE!

if you support ICE you’re not allowed to eat burritos. new rule punishable by death.

piss #: 10

waking up in the morning feeling like P Diddy is something you definitely do not wanna do

aw yeah man, throwback to Pizza Time 2019, the good days

damn ok i’m about to have some beers sure

if you guys arent already following @pisscounter.bsky.social you should. turn on notifications too so you know when i piss all of 2026.