i fucking love Garage Beers. they're delicious.

aw yea u fuckin bozos its time to get some nighty nights, i'm talking bout some good shut eye. some zzz's. sleep tight nimrods.

my account is now private, thanks to the new update!

what happened to lil dicky did he run out of bar mitzvah money

(returning from the Lost City) more like the Found City, you're welcome

one mans trash is a gooners treasure

i am being a gamer tonight # rune scape # grind

getting pulled over by a cop for drinking a Garage Beer and he takes the beer and hands me a Driving Beer, and sends me on my way

Jason Kelce has Garage Beers (cool, fun, tasty beverage for drinking with the boys) and Travis Kelce has Taylor Swift (boring, shitty music, destroying the planet with her private jet, hates her fans)

THIS JUST IN: Trump has replaced Kristi Noem with none other than, The Hamburglar, and he is hungry for some terrorism. lock your doors, folks.

kristi noem taking out all her anger after being fired, by going down to the animal shelter and opening fire.

alright one more

war is bad

Harris and Trump have the same position on Iran.

garage beers and sexy vintage babes in the wood shop? dudes rock.

i’m outside mowing my lawn and the neighborhood teens showed up, told me my aura is chopped, then they threw a rock in front of me and destroyed my lawnmower. by god i will get revenge on those fucking pricks.

(pulling up with my entourage of absolute fucking buffoons) “WHO ATE ALL DA GOOD PUSSY”

weedsky is so back

there are so many good posts on bluesky today i wish i could like them all

WhyBskyTeam: welp, got my dick stuck in the toaster again fml this always happens to me <a few posts later> WhyBskyTeam: WELL WELL WELL looks like the kinkshamers have arrived. people acting like they've never wanted to fuck their toaster before, that's cute. you dipshits just don't get it.

Dudes just don't say "Cruuuuisin yeaaah. Cruising USA yeah" anymore 😔

when your friends leave your house and you’re standing in the doorway like

these stuffed animals with teeth can fuck completely off

9/10 water drinkers don’t you to know this One Crazy Fact (!!!), but the best thing to consume around noon (lunch time) is food.

i know RFK Jr has always been the ugly duck of the family, but the rest of his relatives (dead and alive) must be looking at him and laughing (or crying) and rolling over in their graves

taking a deadly virus and adding stuff to make it even worse and bringing it to the Republican National Convention, and releasing it like a box full of angry bees

his name really puts the finishing touch on it all

Oh shit, this person is so cool

i wish i was addicted to quaaludes

*plays dead*

guys its really easy to not be weird on this app, you can be a normal guy towards women. it’s so easy, unless you already think you’re being normal, then your wiring is just fucked up and you should stay offline.

dies anyone here listen to The Lemonheads? the band not the candy.

It’s a Shame About Ray!

really cool how your body just makes stones in various parts. thats like the one thing you dont want inside there is stones. stop making them.

😤‼️💯

learning how to enter prompts into AI and becoming the lead developing programmer at Bluesky.

Come one, Come all! I have designed a fantastic new porn website, still working out some bugs. lots of people posting child porn, and the real content creators are being falsely banned; but to be fair, i used AI to code the entire website, so i’m not *really* at fault here . i’m just lazy !

lmao imagine this for a second. you’re the developer of a large online social network, and you admit to the entire website that you started out “kinda trying” but now you have fully given up and let a machine do all the work for you.

my wife is showing me Leo Skepi tiktoks. this guy is funny.

hey lunkhead -- get fucked!!

pay me money and ill draw a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

g’night mate .

“uhmm well, actually….” let me stop you right there. i dont care; even if you’re right. i do not care. don’t log into the internet just to prove to other people just smart yku are. save it for debate club.

3 and 5. capped pens are for fucking assholes.

thank you bluesky team for verifying me

my wife is doing dishes and singing “because of youuu i’m not afraid, to dive from the skylineeeee”. she’s just making her own words to Kelly Clarkson songs now. what an interesting human.